Shut Up Minor Boy!
by FlamedraSeer7213
Summary: Isn't it kind of funny how Sakura's technically older than Sasuke? Well, Sakura takes that to the extreme and taunts poor Sasuke until he snaps. Involves Sasuke getting cut off, Youthfulness, MinorBoy, and many insults with Sakura and Sasuke. SasuSaku
1. Chapter 1

Shut Up Minor-Boy!

FlamedraSeer7213

Naruto

Sasu/Saku

Romance/Humor

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto.

NC-17

People are a bit… OOC

FlamedraSeer7213: Let me just warn you, Sasuke gets cut off a lot here.

Pom-Pom: My Hentai Influences have worked on you! Yay me!

FlamedraSeer7213: …I hate you…

Pom-Pom: -smirks-

FlamedraSeer7213: -glares-

"Oh for freaking Hokage's Sake!! Why the hell do I have to help you on my only day off!?" 17 year old Haruno Sakura screamed at no one in particular. "You're annoying, that's why." 16 year old Uchiha Sasuke muttered to himself. "You shut up minor! I am your elder! I am one year older than you!!" She countered, pointing an accusing finger at the Uchiha.

"So what? You're born on March 28th; I'm born on July 23rd. One simple message, I DON'T CARE." He replied, as nonchalant as always. Sakura smacked her head; her mission was with this… this… this… dude!! Sure, sure, she had a crush on him, but now, she just didn't care.

"Shut up Minor." She muttered. "I heard that Haruno." "Yeah? Well I wanted you to hear that Minor!" "For last time, I am not a minor!"

"Are so!"

"Are not!"

"Are so!"

"Are not!"

"Are so!"

"Are not!"

"Are so!"

"Are not!"

This kid walked by and screamed at them, "SHUT UP!" Causing them to blink. "What in Asgard's sake were we doing Haruno?" "I thought you were the great 'Uchiha Prodigy' Minor." "For the last effing time, I am not-!" Haruno, I mean Sakura waved her hand. "Whatever, lets just get ready for the mission."

Sasuke blinked, _"Did she just cut me off!? No one cuts off an Uc-!"_ "Are you done thinking to yourself yet?" Sasuke's face started to flush with anger, _"She cut off my thoughts! Dammit! Since when could sh-!?" _"Yo, minor." Finally getting fed up, Sasuke turned to her and roared, "WHAT!?" Sakura coughed, "Two things, one, get ready for the mission, we're leaving soon. Two, get yourself some freaking breath mints! What'd you have, garlic!?"

"_I'll admit two things to myself now." _Sasuke thought to himself as he walked towards his house. _"One, this new Sakura seems to be more confident. …And it annoys me."_ He smirked before thinking the next thing, _"Two, I like it."_

Sakura was mumbling to herself, "If I thought I had a thought I thought I had a thought I thought I thought I had a thought and then I thought I had another thought and-" "What are you doing Haruno?" Sasuke asked, unsure if she was sane. She turned to him, looking confused, "If I thought I gave you a cookie and you I thought I had a cookie, does that make Ramen eat Naruto?" Sasuke stuttered and shuddered at the same time, "Wha-What!?"

"Oh good, I thought I was the only one who didn't understand that." Sasuke twitched. "Haruno, are you okay?" She nodded, "I'm okie-dokie, Sasuke-kunny-wunny-su!" For the second time that day, Sasuke twitched… and questioned Sakura's sanity. "…Whatever. Let's just go…" He muttered.

Two Hours Later

"…Hey, Minor-boy." Sasuke twitched at his new annoying nickname, "What the hell do you want Haruno?" He asked, glaring at her. "Let's play a game." Sasuke smacked his forehead, "Play a game? Sakura, we are on a mission! We had to compl-!" "I know that already. I'm just bored."

"Did you just cu-?"

"Yes I just cut you off."

"Why did you do ag-!?"

"I know what you're going to say Minor-boy."

"Don't call me "Min-!"  
"I can do what ever I want! Watch this!" (Those of you familiar with Family Guy. You must have heard this before.)

With that said, she flicked dirt at Sasuke… into his hair. The Uchiha was irked… very irked. He picked up Sakura by her shoulders and shook her like a rag doll. "What in Uchiwas sake did you do that for!?"

"I did it so I cou-"

"Urusai yo!"

"Shut up Chicken-Haired Minor-boy!!"

"Freaky Super Strength Pink Hair!!"

"Emo 'I Hate The World' Minor-Boy!"

"Weak!"

"Self-Absorbed!"

"Annoying!"

"Teme!"

"Sexy!"

"What did you say Sasuke-kun?"

"No! I mean- gah! …SLOW!"

Sakura grabbed Sasuke and was about to beat the living daylights out of him until Sasuke put a finger to her lips. "Shushy! Someone's here." Sasuke twitched at himself as he remembered what he said, _"Shushy? Am I going insane!?"_

Five seconds passed before, a rock flew out of the woods.

Dodge

More rocks

More Dodges

A Spork

A twitch and a dodge

A dead squirrel

Sakura shrieks and a dodge

A banana cream pie

A splut and Sasuke muttering "Pies"

A cell phone

"Were cells invented yet!?" and a dodge

A fan girl

Sasuke's shriek of horror (yes a shriek)

Getting tired of this, Sakura threw a kunai into the woods. A shadow started appearing.

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

Silence as a leaf blows by.

"GROUP HUG!!"

An Hour Later…

Sasuke gasped, for air. Sakura already passed out and was currently being carried by a very tired Sasuke. He plopped down near a tree and thought about what happened.

Flashback

"_Hello Sasuke! You here for the training of Youthfulness?" Sasuke twitched, "Why?" Lee pounded his chest and winced when it hurt. "I am here to get students for Gai-sensei!" _

"_Lee!"_

"_Gai-sensei!"_

_The sounds of crying and hugging and a very loud, "MAY THE YOUTHFULNESS OF YOUTH FLOW THROUGH YOUR SPIRIT!!" _

_Sasuke twitched again. 'Are they still obsessed with 'Youthfulness'?' He asked himself, already knowing the answer. Huffing, he pointed at an unconscious Sakura on the ground. "I'm going to have to report you guys to the Hokage, you nearly killed my partner." _

"_Oh no! We must escape!!"_

"_Yes Gai-sensei, we must!"_

"_Oh Lee!"_

"_Gai-sensei!!"_

"_Lee!"_

"_Gai-sensei!!"_

"_Let us run! To run in the setting sun! To not mess up our hair!"_

"_Yes Gai-sensei! I will help you achieve the power of youthfulness!!"_

"_Lee!"_

"_Gai-sensei!"_

"_Would you leave already!?!?"_

_Sasuke angrily asked the two of them, multiple pulsing veins placed all over his head, holding up a fist and prepared to even use the Chidori to make them leave. _

"_No!"_

"_We must finish our talk about Youthfulness first!"_

"_Would you KINDLY take your leave…?" Sasuke asked through clenched teeth, the familiar seal starting to cover his left half. Once again he was greeted with the same sayings._

_Starting to get very tired, Sasuke sighed. He ran towards them and smacked them all in the face._

"_Oh and SCREW YOU AND YOUR STUPID YOUTHFULNESS!!" He screamed at the flying figures._

_He cursed at the sky when he heard Gai scream "Bursting with youth!" back at him._

End Flashback

"_Whoever knew they were such idiots?" _Sasuke thought to himself as he picked up Sakura again and started up the mountain again. He stopped walking when Sakura started to move.

Only to nearly fall when Sakura held him in a death grip.

"Oh my god!! Is that you, Sasuke-kun!? I wuv you!!" She squealed into his already hurting ear and latched on even tighter, if that was possible.

Meanwhile, Sasuke was trying very hard not to pass out from the lack of air. "Sa-Sakura… let… go… windpipe… choking…!" He managed to gasp out while turning a very nice shade of blue.

Only to be latched on even tighter.

Finally passing out from the lack of air, he was mistaken to be dead. Sakura made a coffin appear and buried the Uchiha.

This led to the ear splitting screaming and yelling that erupted in the forest the next morning.

"HARUNO!! WHY DID YOU BURY ME WHEN I WAS STILL ALIVE!?" He screamed, stuck in the coffin underground. "SECOND, WHY DID YOU TIE ME DOWN TO THE COFFIN!?" He screamed again, tied to the bottom of the coffin with Chakra Strings.

"I'm sorry, Minor-boy. Where are you?"

There was a moment of silence before a snarl rose from the coffin and banging ensured.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, MY NAME ISN'T 'MINOR-BOY'!! For your information, I am turning 17 in two more days! So you're not my elder, Haru-!"

"Whatever, just where are you?"

"YOU CUT ME OFF AGAIN!!"

"I don't want to hear you rant! Remember that last time you ranted over the cookie in my living room!?"

"I don't have time for that! I'm running out of air in this stupid coffin and I want out!"

"…You're hopeless, Minor-boy."

"I am not 'Minor-boy'!!"

"Fine, prove it and I'll call you Uchiha, or even perhaps Sasuke-kun again!"

"…"

"What's that? Speak up! Neko-chan got your tongue?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Fine… just you wait!"

"Whatcha going to do? Run away again?"

The splintering of wood was apparent as an angry Uchiha appeared in the ground like an angry banshee.

"Sakura…" He muttered dangerously.

She started backing up and stuttered, trying futilely to calm down the seemingly angry Uchiha in front of her.

Of course, anger was not in his dark onyx eyes as he started to walk closer to Sakura. She started backing up.

"Itadakimasu…" Sasuke whispered softly, but just loud enough for Sakura to hear. Taking out a kunai, Sakura held it in her finger, ready to attack when suddenly Sasuke lunged forward and…

…crushed his lips brutally on hers.

She let out a gasp of surprise and he took his opportunity to force his tongue into her mouth. She dropped the kunai and wrapped her arms around him, trying to deepen the kiss. He pulled away.

"Still Minor-Boy?" He asked, smirking. She was shocked for a minute, before her mouth curled into a smirk very similar to Sasuke's and opened her mouth to speak.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Naruto. I do however, own a Naruto Info Book.

Pom-Pom: Giggity-Gu!

FlamedraSeer7213: Stop imitating that guy from Family Guy Pom-Pom, you're freaking me out.

Pom-Pom: This is my success! I finally made you write a hentai fic! YESSS!

FlamedraSeer7213: -glares- Shuddup!

Pom-Pom: NYAH!

FlamedraSeer7213: Don't expect anything very 'hot' cos this is my first time ever writing hentai stuff. Read way too many though… thanks to the little ecchi dog/muse here!

Pom-Pom: Perverted and proud of it DAMMIT!

FlamedraSeer7213: The hentai scene is not here Ecchi.

Pom-Pom: ARGH!

FlamedraSeer7213: If this chapter's a bit crappy, I'm sorry. I was listening to "Sasuke's Theme" on my IPod.

sasuke fanatic1: Yes, I am well aware of that. But, in order for this part of the story to work, Sasuke has to be younger.  
tiffanylicis: Yes, yes, I'm updating now!

X-Emerald-X: Gee… thanks!

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Yup, much randomness.

MagicFlames: Thanks, I'm updating!

"What was that… Minor-Boy?"

Sasuke frowned and replied

"I thought you said you wouldn't call me Minor-Boy anymore!"

"Sure, I won't, when…"

"When…?"

"Butter flies."

"You stupid bitch!"

"You're not one to talk, Chicken-Hair!"

"Pink Hair!"

"What's wrong with Pink Hair? It's better than Chicken-Hair, Minor-Boy!"

"I thought I told you to stop call-!"

"Calling you 'Minor-Boy', Minor-Boy?"

"AAAAARRRRGGGHH! I'm going to sleep!"

Sasuke threw his hands up in frustration and walked away. He sat down on the ground and fumbled through his backpack. Sakura walked over to him and tapped his shoulder. He ignored her and continued looking through his backpack.

Tap.

Fumble

Tap

Fumble

Tap

Fumble

Smack!

"What do you want Haruno?" He screeched rubbing his now sore head. Sakura had a light blush on her face and replied without looking at him.

"Minor-Boy, that's _my_ bag you're going through."

"No, it's mine."

"Give me my bag, Minor-Boy."

"It's my bag."

"Just give me the goddamned bag Uchiha!"

"Hn."

"Uchiha! BAG!"

"I swear to god Haruno, if you don't stay away from me and _my_ bag, I'm going to get a sex change and a name change!"

"It's not your damned bag!"

"Yes it… oh, what's this…?"

"NOOOOO!"

Sakura promptly snatched the Sasuke plushie from the amused Uchiha's hands. "What was that Haruno?" He asked; his signature Uchiha smirk at 100 now.

A loud crash was heard along with Sakura screaming out, "Who gave you permission to go in my bag?" Sasuke coughed and replied from the human sized crater he was in, "I did."

"That's not good enough Minor-Boy!"

"Well it is for me."

She grabbed his collar and shook him violently; so much that he could feel tiny little cracks in his neck when his head snapped back.

"You stupid Minor-Boy! WHO IN UTGARD LET YOU INTO MY BAG? I'm going to kill you! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND KEEP YOUR DEAD BODY AS A GIFT!"

"Now, Haruno, calm down. I'm going to have to report abuse to Tsunade-sama if you keep going like this."

"I'M GONNA KEEL YOU UCHIHA!"

"Haruno, you're scaring me."

"TO HELL IF I'M SCARING YOU! DAMMIT! I JUST FREAKING REALIZED HOW ANNOYING AND SO DAMN! So damn! So damn…"

"So damn… what?"

"I'm going to kill you, you… you… You and your stupid… hard muscles and… GAH!"

Sakura threw herself into a tree. _"Damn hormones!" _Sasuke just sat on the floor, rubbing his head and trying to comprehend what just happened.

"Haruno, did you just say 'Hard Muscles'?" He asked quietly, trying to prevent a small smirk from erupting on his face.

His answer was his backpack thrown in his face. He pulled that off and snarled at her, "What the hell was that for?" She stuck out her tongue at him. "Shut up Minor-Boy!" Sasuke's face flushed with anger for the second time in this fic. He started shaking his arms in rage and yelled back. "MY NAME IS NOT MINOR-BOY!" Sakura shrugged and went into her tent.

Sasuke started to literally rip apart his bag. _"Stupid tent… where the hell is it?"_ He froze as he started remember what happened when he started leaving his house.

Flashback

_Sasuke locked his door and started walking down to the Town's Square. At least he was trying to, as he was interrupted by a loud scream that was unique to Naruto._

"_NE! SASUKE-TEME!"_

_Sasuke turned around slowly and glared at the blonde-head running down the street in his direction. "What the hell do you want?" He asked quietly. Naruto grinned and said, "Do have an extra tent?"_

"_Why?"_

"_I'm going on a camping trip with Hinata-chan!"_

"_No, I don't have one."_

"_Hey! What about the one on your back?"_

"_I'm going on a mission."_

"_You don't need a tent teme; you can share with your partner."_

"_My partner is Sakura."_

"_Then, she'll be glad to share with you!"_

"_No."_

"_Yes!"_

"_No."_

"_Yes!"_

"_Yes."_

"_No!"_

"_Oh, okay, if you say that's okay."_

"_Sasuke-teme!"_

"_What?"_

"_Tent!"_

"_I already said no."_

_Then without warning, Naruto stole Sasuke's tent and disappeared. Sasuke screeched at no one in particular._

"_HEY! That's my property!"_

End Flashback

Sasuke sighed and packed what he had into what remained of his backpack. He swallowed his pride and went over to Sakura's tent.

"Sakura?"

"What do you want?"

"…Could I share a tent with you?"

"What? Why?"

"…Naruto stole mine."

There was a moment of silence before the zipper of the tent opened and Sakura stuck her head out.

"Alright fine, but don't try anything funny Minor-Boy, or I'll gut you like a fish on a bamboo pole!"

"Understood."

"Fine, get in."

Sasuke threw his bag in and crawled into the tent. Looking around, he twitched.

"Sa-Sakura, what the fuck are those?"

"Those are Beanie Babies."

"Beanie WHAT?"

"Tsk, are you deaf or something? I said Beanie Babies."

"Sakura, aren't those things… for seven year olds or something?"

"For your information, Minor-Boy, I like Beanie Babies."

"…Okay…"

"Good, now go to sleep and don't bother me!"

The candles were blown out in the tent.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Naruto! I do own however, a homemade Konoha Forehead Protector for Halloween.

FlamedraSeer7213: Hooray for Voodoo Dolls and everything out of the ordinary!!

Pom-Pom: Too much coffee eh?

FlamedraSeer7213: Why my dear little dog/muse, why would you say that?

Pom-Pom: You're putting two raw fish on your head and tied your hair in Tsunade's style, you only did that once and that was when you had too much coffee.

FlamedraSeer7213: WEEEE!! –spinning in circles- 360 Vision; OH YES!

Pom-Pom: -sweat drops- And you're also not listening to me…

MagicFlames: What!? You'll KILL me!? Oh noes!

Most of the night went by without events. Except for at precisely 3:00 am, Sasuke put his arm on Sakura's waist.

She got annoyed and pushed it off. Only for it to wrap around her waist again.

Push

Wrap

Push

Wrap

Push

Tight Grip

Sakura's eyes narrowed in anger. _"Who gave the stupid teme permission to wrap his grubby hand around my waist!?"_ She was about to beat him within an inch of his life when she heard him whisper something in her ear.

"Sakura…" He breathed huskily. "What do you want Minor-Boy?" She asked flatly, hoping he would let her go. He replied in a playful tone, "What Sakura? Don't want to call me 'Sasuke-kun'?" He pressed his lips slowly to her neck. "Or are you too afraid…?" Sakura froze at this. He slowly started to press slow butterfly kisses onto the soft flesh of her neck, flicking out his tongue a couple of times.

Sakura inhaled and screamed in Sasuke's ear, "LET GO OF ME YOU STUPID PERVERT!"

Sasuke sat up and rubbed his head. "God dammit Sakura! I know you want me to wake up, but you don't have to scream so god damn loud woman!" Sakura' eyes widened. _"Holy Shit on a stick! He was dreaming!?"_

Sasuke yawned and stretched; his black hair extremely messy. "Ah… I'll get some breakfast… so hungry…" He got up and almost fell. He regaining his balance, he stumbled out of the tent and slipped on his sandals. Sakura could hear his small mumbles as he headed off into the forest. "…Meat would be good, or maybe some eggs or some of those nice button mushrooms I saw yesterday…num…"

Sakura unconsciously rubbed the nape of her neck and started getting dressed. Remembering what Sasuke looked like in the morning, she giggled and her day started off right.

Later That Night…

Sasuke started rummaging through his bag again when he heard a small faint giggle. "Sakura?" He called out, unsure if he should go and check out the problem. After hearing a few more giggles, he decided to go and check it out.

Sakura had found some bottles of Sake in her bag and was currently downing them, saying incoherent things once in a while and giggling. Sasuke opened the zipper to the tent and nearly reeled back at the smell of the sake.

"Ah, it's Sasuukei! How aret you Sasuukei?" She asked him, all giddy. Sasuke twitched, _"This isn't good…"_ Sakura leaned in a bit, "Hmm? What waz tat Sasuukei? Youse wanna bootle too?" She nodded sagely. "Ah yesh, youse do wanna bootle! Tere youse aree!" She forced a bottle down Sasuke's throat.

About Six Bottles Later

Sasuke was lying in a heap on the floor of Sakura's tent, groaning. "Augh, I'm gonna be sik!" Sakura was just humming happily and sipping her sake. Sasuke grew impatient and slammed his fist down. "Hey! Youse didn't hear me? We-We hafta do thes misshan! Se-Seriouswy Harono!"

Sakura sighed happily and started mumbling about flower-flavored ice cream. Sasuke set down his head again and groaned. "Why's it hafta to be that… You hafta be… AUGH! I'm gonna be sik!"

"Yummy, Flwer-Flawered Icy Creammy!" She proclaimed out loud, a light blush on her cheeks. Sasuke sighed, hiccupped twice and attempted to start a conversion with his drunken speak.

"Sakuwa, what'z our misshan?"

"To retwve the magickal sticky of ze Crumb!"

"…But serioswy, what'z our misshan?"

"To destroy ze evvl dollz of doom!!"

"…Youse hoppless…"

"Letz gos! Magickal Flwer-Flawered Icy Creammy!!"

"…"

"Cum Sasuukei! Let uss find ze magick bootles oh Sae!"

"What waz tat Sakuwa?"

Sakura grabbed his arm and ran out of the tent, clutching a beanie baby in her arms. "LET USS GOO!! TO ZE MAGICK BOOTLE OH SAE!!" Sasuke moaned and muttered, "Och, watever…"

FlamedraSeer7213: Where will Sakura's Drunken Quest for the Magic Bottle of Sake turn up!?

Pom-Pom: Please read and review.

FlamedraSeer7213: You were supposed to say something else!

Pom-Pom: Whatever…

FlamedraSeer7213: As Shadowkeeper113's muse Shadow said, "I'm being ignored!"

Pom-Pom: Whatever…

FlamedraSeer7213: Hn! …Hopefully you understood the drunken speak that I typed. It was fun typing it!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. I do own a CD of Naruto opening songs! Including Haruka Kanata, Re:member, Go!!!, and Seishun Kyousoukyoku. It's mine! –Hisses-

FlamedraSeer7213: Sambomaster rocks!!

Pom-Pom: -confused- Who's Sando-?

FlamedraSeer7213: That's _Sambomaster_ mind you! It's the band who performs "Seishun Kyousoukyoku"!

Pom-Pom: Oh you mean that song when that guy's screaming into your ear?

FlamedraSeer7213: -smacks Pom-Pom upside your head- BAKA! That's "Haruka Kanata"! That's by a totally different artist!

Pom-Pom: Oh? Who sin-?  
FlamedraSeer7213: Asian Kung-Fu Generation

Pom-Pom: How do you know all this!?!?

FlamedraSeer7213: Cos, I'm your master.

Pom-Pom: ARGH!! –twitches- Who's Re:mem-?

FlamedraSeer7213: FLOW

Pom-Pom: Go?

FlamedraSeer7213: FLOW

Pom-Pom: HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THIS!?

FlamedraSeer7213: Cos I do, now onward with the story!!

ShadowKeeper113: Why is everyone saying that to me now!? I don't like being tortured…

tiffanylicis: Yes, I guess you could say that Sasuke was having a lot of fun.

MagicFlames: I'm glad to know you liked that part. It was a lot of fun typing it!

Kenya: Yesh, yesh, much randomness. I'm happy to hear that you found it funny!

XyoushaX: You know, you're the second person to talk about the age difference. Yes, I do know that Sasuke is older than Sakura, but I'm using the American School System. Thanks though!

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Sowwy, had a sort of Writer's Block. This one should be longer though!

Merridaine: Tee hee!

Sakura's drunken search for the "Magick Bootle oh Sae". Of course nothing turned up and both of them went back to the tent and fell asleep, still dead drunk.

The Next Morning

Sasuke woke up first, and rubbed his head. _"Augh… my first hangover… I thought that this would happen when I was actually legal age to drink alcohol…" _He noticed some very tight clothes around him. He looked down and visibly sweat dropped.

Sakura woke up before he could say anything. She looked at him. He looked at her. A moment of silence passed before two identical screams erupted and two accusing fingers were pointed.

"WHY ARE YOU WEARING MY CLOTHES!?!?"

Sasuke smacked his forehead and Sakura was just staring at him.

"For fuck's sake woman! What did we do last night!?"

"I…I… I don't remember actually…

Sasuke started tearing at his hair and mumbling, "Oh Kami-sama no… Oh Kami-sama no… Oh Kami-sama no… Oh Kami-sama nii no!!" Sakura tapped his shoulder ever so lightly, causing Sasuke to jump.

"Don't you ever do that again! EVER!!" He hissed into her face, trying to look threatening but failing badly as Sasuke really didn't look too frightening in a pink girl's dress.

"Okay, Minor-Boy, don't panic. I'm pretty sure that we didn't do anything."

"That's not helping Haruno!! Oh god… NOOOO!!"

"Minor-Boy? We didn't do anything…"

"And how in Asgard do you know that!?"

"The only thing different about us is the fact that you're wearing a pink dress and I'm wearing your shirt and shorts."

"Your point is besides the fact that we probably fucked the freaking brains out of each other is!?"

"All we did was switch clothes!!"

"…Oh… I see… I apologize if I went crazy."

"It's cool ese."

"…Since when do you say that?"

Sakura glared at him. "I said that less than two seconds ago! Geez you're really stupid brained this morning Minor-Boy." Sasuke stomped his foot on the ground rapidly. "I am not!" Sakura dismissed the matter with a wave of her hand. "Whatever…"

"…"

"…"

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"Maybe, we should change clothes…?"

"Oh yeah! That-That's a good idea Sakura."

More Silence.

And silence.

"Minor-Boy!"

"What!?"

"Now would be nice!!"

"Oh… right yeah!"

The shuffling of clothes was apparent as Sasuke and Sakura both gave each other their clothes. Sasuke attempted to start a conversation.

"So…"

"So…"

"…What's our mission?"

"That is something only I know."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and raised an eyebrow that the same time.

"Why?"

"Because I'm older than you Minor-Boy!"

"No you're not, anymore anyway."

Sakura looked confused.

"Erm, why?"

Sasuke smirked and let out an insane laugh. Then looked at Sakura.

"You didn't hear that."

"…Yes I did."

"No you didn't!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"No!"

"No."

"Yes!"

Sakura flicked his forehead. "You really are slow today." Sasuke pouted and crossed his arms angrily. "Don't treat me like a baby! I'm not your Minor!"

"Why?"

"You forgot!?"

"Forget what?"

"Today's my god damned birthday!!"

Sakura looked at the furious Uchiha. "Oh!" She concluded, tapping her chin. "So that's why you're so moody today!" Sasuke smacked his head again. "Oh never mind!!"

Sakura then lit up. "Today's your birthday, so I'm gonna sing the song!!" Sasuke's eyes widened in fear. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no!! You are not going to sing that confounded song!!" Sakura smirked and muttered. "Too late!"

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Minor-Boyoiii! Happy Birthday to you!! YAY!!" Sasuke started mumbling to himself.

Sakura started the Birthday countdown. "Are you one!? Are you two!? Are you three!? Are you f-!?" "For god's sake, I'm freaking 17 years old DAMMIT!!" He screeched.

Two Hours Later

"I _hate _you Haruno!!" Sasuke hissed at he stared at the bowl of shaved ice in front of him. Sakura just giggled. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "You know very well that I hate sweet things. But yet you make me eat shaved ice!!" Sakura giggled again. "You're so stupid Minor-Boy!"

"FOR THE LAST EFFING TIME! MY NAME IS NOT MINOR-BOY!!!" She moved over next to the fuming Uchiha and tapped his shoulder. He turned around angry. "What do you want Har-!" His last word was silenced as Sakura gave him a small kiss. She pulled away, blushing and said, "Happy Birthday Sasuke-kun!"


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. …Do I have to do this for every chapter!?

Pom-Pom: FlamedraSeer7213-san, are you sick?

FlamedraSeer7213: -glares- Shut up; you'd act –cough- the same if you got belted in –cough- the lungs with a solid –cough- metal pole.

Pom-Pom: -sweat drops- How did you get belted in the lungs with a metal pole…?

FlamedraSeer7213: -cough- you!

Pom-Pom: Ehh…

FlamedraSeer7213: I'm not in the mood to –cough- argue with you –cough- dog!

Pom-Pom: …

FlamedraSeer7213: Onward with the –cough- fic!! …where are them cough drops with I –cough- need them –cough-!?

Pom-Pom: Ehh… -sweat drops-

FlamedraSeer7213: There is an action scene –cough- in this fic, now this is my first time –cough- actually writing action, so if –cough- it's bad, I'm really –cough- sorry!!

Pom-Pom: Are you sure you don't need a doctor…?

FlamedraSeer7213: -cough- This chapter is pretty –cough- long…

AnimegirlKiki: Yup, anyone would be really slow after drinking large amounts alcohol.

MagicFlames: Don't forget the "-kun"!

wickedthunder02: Woohoo for SasuSaku!!

chrissymissy: Are your sides feeling better now?

Neji's Girlfriend: Gee, thanks –looks sheepish-

Shadowkeeper113: Would you please stop with the death threats that if I didn't update? You're freaking me out…

saim: You love my story more than bunnies? Thank you!!

--: Thanks for that! Shadowkeeper113 was sort of scaring me…

Sasuke stuttered and just opted to turn away. Sakura gave herself a devious smirk before he turned around again. He started to stuff the shaved ice into his mouth, even if he didn't like sweet things. Sakura turned worried.

"Sasuke, don't eat so fast! You'll ge-!"

"ARRRGHH!! BRAIN FREEZE!!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Ouch… hurt… PAIN…!"

"…"

After Sasuke finished clutching his head in pain, he continued to shove the shaved ice in big amounts into his mouth, soon encountering yet another brain freeze. Sakura sighed as he lay on the ground, curled up in pain, tearing his hair out at the clutching pain of brain freeze.

"Never did like taking advice from others, eh Minor-boy?"

The Next Morning

Sakura woke up first and attempted to get up, only to be weighed down. _"What the fu-!?" _She thought, looking at the still sleeping Sasuke on her chest. She smiled and patted his head.

"No… I don't want anymore shaved ice… Too… much… brain freeze… Onigiri…" He mumbled in his sleep, finally shifting off her and holding his pillow in a death grip. She looked at him and thought, _"He looks so peaceful…"_

Until a fly started to bother him. Reaching out, Sasuke grabbed the poor forsaken fly and squished it with a mere flexing of his fingers.

"Minor-Boy!" Sasuke groaned as slowly opened his eyes, his vision coming slowly. "What the hell do you want Haruno?" He demanded, his voice still laced with sleep, keeping one eye closed lazily.

Sakura sighed, "I thought you would be excited to know that we are actually going to be doing some fighting today…" Both of Sasuke's eyes opened and widened, excitement dancing in his pupils. "…but I guess that's not the case. We can still go tom-!"

Sasuke had jumped up and slammed her against the flap of the tent, his hands over her wrists. "No. We are going to fight today and that's final." Sakura vigorously nodded, as Sasuke's grip on her wrists really hurt. He narrowed his eyes, let go of her and walked out of the tent. Sakura gave him a silent raspberry and rubbed her sore wrists.

A few minutes, Sakura emerged from the tent. The first thing she noticed was a sandaled tapping foot. She looked up slowly. Black sandals, black khaki like pants, black collared shirt, angry face of Uchiha Sasuke, and the tip of his peacock hair.

Never mind his peacock hair! Sakura looked at his angry face, looking amazed at how red a person's face could be with anger. "Sa-ku-ra!" he said hotly, glaring at her with the Sharingan activated. Sakura blinked once, "Um… Yo?"

"Yo? YO!? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY AFTER YOU SPENT TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES GETTING DRESSED!? YO!?" He snarled in her face, the curse seal also unwinding and chakra literally seeping out of him.

She held up her hands in defense. "No-Now Uchiha, don't get so angry…!! It was only twenty minutes!" Sasuke sighed and leaned back against a tree. "You say you took twenty minutes to wear your proper clothes… right?" Sakura nodded.

"The only thing I'm mad about is your choice of shirt." Sakura looked down at her shirt. "I don't see anything wrong about it." Sasuke twitched and started to rant.

"What!? Sakura look at your freaking shirt!!" Sakura looked at her shirt and shrugged. "Sakura! It says, 'If you can read this make me a sandwich'." Sakura raised an eyebrow. "So?"

He blew up. "So!? Why would you wear a shirt like that!? You seriously expect your opponent to stop, read the shirt, and make you a damn sandwich when he's supposed to shove a Katana in your gut!?" She shook her head. "Then why did you wear the shirt!?"

This was when Sakura got a small devious grin on her face. She pointed at her shirt with her thumb, "I wore the shirt as a handicap." Sasuke twitched. No this was not a normal face twitch, Sasuke's entire body jerked.

"How is a shirt a handicap!?" He screeched, not getting this concept at all. Sakura huffed and started to explain. "If the enemy is rushing at me with a Katana as you said, he'll see my shirt and probably stop to read it."

"Wh-?"

"Human Curiosity is a strange thing Uchiha."

"…"

"Anyway, so in that spilt second he decides that he's going to read what I have on my shirt. I'll attack him."

"Why would he wa-?"

"As I said already Uchiha, Human Curiosity is a strange thing."

"…What if he-?"

"Don't make me call you Minor-Boy again Uchiha."

Two identical glares. Sasuke gave a "Hn." Sakura got up and packed everything in her bag. "Come on Uchiha, don't get left behind."

Two Hours Later

Sasuke was getting impatient, how many trees had they passed in the last half an hour. "Haruno, how many trees have we passed in the last two hours!?" Sakura looked behind her and replied, "Oh, One thousand, two hundred, and thirty six." He twitched. "You've been counting!?" She nodded.

The conversation was short lived as a swarm Shinobi, with masks covering their faces leapt up in the branches in front of Sakura. "Oh great, interference…" Sakura muttered, while Sasuke seemed to lighten up.

"Can I fight them Haruno? PLEASE!?" He begged, looking completely ridiculous. Chakra started to leak out again and the Sharingan was already activated. Sakura sweat dropped and nodded slowly.

Punching his fist in the air, Sasuke turned to the Shinobi, who were quite obviously underestimating him. His Sharingan eyes swept over the crowd, observing to see who was the weakest. His eyes resting on one of the Shinobi in the back, he started to slowly walk over to the large swarm.

The Shinobi tensed up, all into a Taijutsu pose. Sasuke frowned. _"I can't attack a single person… I'm going to have to attack everyone then…"_ "Sore ja…" (In that case…) He muttered.

Quickly performing the seals of the snake, ram, monkey, boar, horse, and the tiger, Sasuke quickly said the name of the jutsu. "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu!" (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique.) Taking a deep gulp of air and opening his mouth as big as he could, he exhaled as a large brand of fire hit his opponents, scorching anything in sight.

Tapping his fingers and waiting for the smoke to clear, Sasuke placed himself in a Taijutsu stance. _"Good, there's only one of them left… I guess they used a Genjutsu to make it seem like there were more…" _Using the Body Flicker Jutsu, he appeared in front the opponent, who got confused.

Kicking the poor guy straight in the chest, he quickly dashed behind him and gave a sharp uppercut.

Finally getting the guy airborne, landed a quick kick to the guy's left side. The Shinobi blocked it and held his foot. Twisting around, Sasuke backhanded the guy in the face, causing him to release his foot. Sasuke then sent a swift punch to the gut, finally crushing the man onto the branch by slamming his left heel into his abdomen.

"Shishi Rendan!" (Lion Combo) He announced, twisting his foot harder into the man's stomach, a few cracks were heard and the man groaned with pain.

"So… who sent you?" He asked the man on the branch. The man grabbed a senbon (metal needle) from his pouch and stabbed Sasuke's leg. Sasuke raised his eyebrow and twisted his foot even harder into the man's abdomen. "Being difficult are we? I'll teach you not to resist."

He kicked his opponent off the branch and leapt after him. Grabbing his ankles, Sasuke wrapped his legs around his waist and sent him crashing into the ground headfirst. The man gave a weak cough. "The village… its five miles away…"

"Finally talking already, are we?" Sasuke let go of the man, and he started to speed away. Only to stump down dead, after Sakura had sent a kunai whizzing in his direction. She had her lips curled in disgust. "Ratting out on your team members eh?" Sasuke turned to her hotly. "I wanted to do that!"

"Shut up Uchiha. We have to get to the village."

"But-!"

"NOW!"

Sasuke mumbled darkly under his breath as returned to tree hopping. Sakura sighed. _"Once we get to the village, we have to get that cut looked at. I don't think that was a normal senbon…"_ She got her answer when Sasuke suddenly fell from the branch and there a loud "SHIMATTA!!" afterwards.

Near The Village

By the time they had reached the village, Sasuke's foot had already been immobilized. _"Stupid me, getting myself stabbed with that stupid senbon. I should have known that there would have to be a catch…" _He thought, literally dragging his foot behind him.

Sakura looked behind her. _"Uchiha's pace has slowed down significantly. The senbon must have been poisoned or at least drugged." _"Ha-Haruno! Slow down!" He stuttered, stretching out an arm to try and futilely reach her, but ended up falling flat on his face.

"Haw-Hawuno…" He gargled into the dirt, a few pulsing veins clear on his head. She helped him sit up and wiped the dirt off of his face. "Done playing in the dirt already, Minor-Boy?" He swore at her and waved his fist. She frowned.

"Stay still Minor-Boy, you've still got dirt on your face."

"Would you stop calling me Minor-Boy!? I am technically your age now!"

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!!"

"You're still younger than me by a couple of months."

"WHAT!? Months don't ma-!"

"Yes months do matter Minor-Boy."

"DAMMIT HARUNO!! Stop calling me-!"

"Minor-Boy, Minor-Boy?"

"I would scream in frustration and walk away if I could use my left leg!"

"Well you can't so NYAH!"

"Nya-Nyah!? Have you finally gone insane Haruno?"

"Unfortunately for you, no."

Sasuke curled his lip and continued to limp to the village gates. Only to fall again. "This is pointless…" he mumbled into the ground. He tried to get up and got halfway up when his arms gave way and he crashed into the ground again.

"Haruno, so assistance would be really nice!!" Sakura helped him up again. "You're really helpless aren't you Minor-Boy?" "WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE TO YOU!?" He snarled at her.

In The Village

"No worries … Uchiha-san was it?" Sasuke nodded slightly. The doctor removed her plastic gloves and sighed. "It's indeed a poison yes, and it has three side effects. One is the one that you are currently feeling Uchiha-san, is the paralysis and it will spread through your body, but will be gone by tomorrow." Sasuke sweat dropped. _"Paralysis, I'll be easy prey!! NOOOO!!!"_ He screamed in his head, holding back to urge to scream out loud and start tearing out his hair.

"Two." The doctor continued, holding up two fingers, "The next symptom is a very high fever that has to be absorbed in the morning so that you don't have to stay in bed." Sasuke's mind once again was sent racing, his eyes shifting back and forth. _"Absorb my fever!? I don't know anything about medicine except for the basic healing of flesh wounds… OH NOES!!"_

Sakura raised her eyebrow. _"What's wrong with Uchiha? He seems really out of it."_ Sasuke was sitting in a chair, leaning forward, his eyes wide, his pupils looking dilated, and was sweating profusely.

"Three." The doctor said and Sasuke's eyes widened even more and he gulped visibly. His mind went into absolute overload. _"Three!? There's a third symptom!? Oh Kami-sama, what is it!? Addiction to cookies!? Sandwiches!? Shogi!? Singing!? Shirts!? UCHIWAS!? What is it? What is it!? Saying Yo!? The urge to cosplay!? Cross-dressing!? What is it!? WHAT IS IT!? I WANNA KNOOOWW!!!"_

FlamedraSeer7213: Yes I know, I'm evil, leaving you at a cliffhanger.

Pom-Pom: Your cough's all better!

FlamedraSeer7213: What? You expected me to be coughing until the end of my days?

Pom-Pom: …

FlamedraSeer7213: Well…? –tapping foot-

Pom-Pom: An-Ano… Please read and review kudasai!!!! –sprints away-

FlamedraSeer7213: Get back here dog! You didn't answer my question!!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

FlamedraSeer7213: Hello! Didja miss me?

Pom-Pom: -flatly- Not much.

FlamedraSeer7213: What happened to you!? You look terrible and… squished…

Pom-Pom: If you must know, I got run over by a Pink Rolly Chair today.

FlamedraSeer7213: A WHAT!?

Pom-Pom: -grits teeth and repeats the sentence- A Pink Rolly Chair.

FlamedraSeer7213: Are-Are you okay?

Pom-Pom: -glares- Yes

FlamedraSeer7213: Cheer up; you're starting to sound like Sasuke.

Pom-Pom: Hn.

FlamedraSeer7213: Sasuke wanna-be!

Pom-Pom: -pulsing vein-

FlamedraSeer7213: Whatever, onward with the fic!!

Pom-Pom: I AM NOT A SASUKE WANNA-BE!!

FlamedraSeer7213: Yes you are so NYAH!

Pom-Pom: …Hn.

FlamedraSeer7213: -snickers-

Merridaine: I do such evil things to people sometimes.

disownedbunny: Gee, thanks.

UrTrOuBleSoMe90: Heh, heh?

rainingblood666: I know it does, but yes I do try and make sense sometimes.

FinalFanasyFreak1234: Thanks!

KaIKaI01: I haven't had a cookie for so long! –shot- Okay maybe I had one today…

Shadowkeeper113: I know I said that!! It's just so addicting… Your stories are too!!

Kenya: Tee hee

Stara Slashtail: OMG! Don't explode!! I don't have any paramedics nearby!!

"The third symptom is…" Sasuke could barely hear what the doctor had said over the pounding of his heart. "The urge –explicit- your female partner." Sasuke nearly threw himself out the window after she said that. Sakura blushed. The doctor stared at them as if they were crazy.

"Well then, Uchiha, we should stay in this fine village tonight, shall we?" Sakura asked Sasuke. Sasuke glared at her from the floor. "If I could move again, I would be stomping my foot on the floor madly."

"You don't have a choice Minor-Boy."

"STOP CALLING ME MINOR-BOY!!"

Sakura tried to smack her hand on his mouth, but ended up smacking his eyes, causing him to snarl in pain.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?"

"You're in no position to talk."

"You just smacked me in the eyes!"

"…"

"Ha! Can't say anything now can we!?"

"…Shut up Uchiha."

"Ha! You can't- OW! Release me!! PAIN! EAR!! OW!!"

Sakura grabbed him by his ear and started dragging him to the nearest inn. She slammed her fist down the bell, so hard that she smashed it. The innkeeper raised his eyebrow at her. "Yes, how may I help you?"

In The Inn

"No Sakura! You are not going to-YAAAAAARRRGHH!!" Sakura threw Sasuke at one of the two beds in the room. Luckily for Sasuke, she didn't miss and he landed on the bed, facedown. "Sakuwa… Thrn me awound!! I-I ca't breethe!!" He mumbled into the linen sheets.

Silence…

"Sakuwa? Din youu nof heaf me!? I ca't breethf!!" Once again there was not response. "Oh fufk…" Sasuke mumbled, before passing out with exhaustion.

Sakura was not in the inn, but outside, walking the streets, in deep thought. _"I thought… that I didn't like him anymore…"_ She narrowed her eyes. _"Why did my heart skip a beat in the forest…?"_

Flashback

"_Haruno! My-My foot! It's not listening to me!!"_ _Sasuke yelled from the forest floor, after falling from the branches._

_Sakura jumped down from the branches and looked at the Uchiha lying on the floor, holding his leg for all it's worth. "Does it hurt?" She asked; a hint of concern in her voice._

_Sasuke shook his head, "No, it's just… completely… numb… I can't feel anything all." Sakura frowned and picked up his foot. "Try moving it." Sasuke attempted to. Nothing happened._

"_I think that Senbon was poisoned." He remarked, frowning when his foot didn't move again. She snorted and started walking away. Desperately, Sasuke held out his hand. "Wait! Wait! Sakura, I need you!!"_

_Sakura turned around, "Wha-What did you say?" Sasuke turned a bit pink, "I mean, I need your help…"_

End Flashback

She shook her head, _"No, he needed me to help him up, nothing else!! No, nothing else."_ Her face paled with horror as a voice that she thought she had gotten rid up popped up.

**And how can you be so sure about that?**

She narrowed her eyes again.

_You! What are you doing here!? I thought I got rid of you!!_

**Eh, I was tired, so I went to sleep.**

_For five freaking years!?_

**Hey, the bed was nice and soft!!**

…_Whatever…_

**You still like Sasuke-kun!!**

_I stopped using that name years ago… where were you?_

**One word, BED**

…_That seems slightly reasonable…_

**You're still in love with Sasuke-kun!**

_Didn't I tell you-?_

**You are!!**

_How did you cut me off!?_

**Nyah!**

…

**You sound like you've picked up a couple of Sasuke-kun's traits! Staying silent, have you mastered the weird wind that blows whenever Sasuke-kun is standing alone?**

_Shut up._

**You can't tell yourself to shut up!**

_Yes, and I just did. You sound like you've picked up his slowness!_

**Are you insulting him? Inner Self or not, I will get angry at you!**

…_Wha-What!?_

**THE POINT IS-!**

_Do you have to scream so damn loud? I can hear you!!_

**Testy, testy. Fine, the point is, you still like Sas- er… Uchiha-san!**

…_Hn_

**Are you using his word now? You do sound like him!!**

_I'm shutting you off now._

**WHAT!? You can't do that! I'm y-!**

Sakura shut out Inner Sakura without letting her finish what she was saying. She sighed and decided to head back to the inn.

Back At The… Inn of Course

Sakura walked to the door and was about to open it, when she heard Uchiha screaming at the top of his lungs.

"MOVE SQUIRREL!! MOVE!! LEFT! NO THAT'S RIGHT! RIGHT! NO THAT'S LEFT!! OMG! DOOR! DOOR!!" There was a loud slam as Sasuke hit the door. Sakura knocked on the door, ever so gently. "Uchiha? Are you okay?"

There was a pause and Sasuke answered. "Yes, I'm very peachy, how are you?" "…" Sakura decided to stay quiet. "No, I'm not okay, I can't move my body, the squirrel was supposed to roll me to the bathroom and my face is now, quite squished."

"Could you attempt to get your squirrel to roll you away from the door? I need to take a shower and make something to eat." There was another pause, and then Sasuke answered smugly. "Only if you can give me a sponge bath."

There seems to be a lot of silence going on. Finally Sakura gave a sigh. "Okay, fine Minor-Boy. But what happens in the sponge bath; STAYS in the sponge bath!!" "Okay, just hold on. OY! SQUIRREL! THIS IS THE LAST TIME!!"

After Ten Minutes

Sakura finally got inside and put Sasuke on the bed again. She pointed at him. "Okay, get this straight Minor-Boy. Your poison has three symptoms. This is the first one. The second one, I WILL treat when it comes. The third one… I will tie you down to the bed."

Sasuke tried to nod, but ended up smashing his forehead into the floor. He tried to move his arm, but no such success. He sighed sadly and replied. "Hn."

Sakura crossed her arms. "What does 'Hn' mean Uchiha?" He turned his head. "Hn means Hn. There, simple." Sakura belted him in the head. Once again Sasuke tried to move his hand, and once again there was no such success.

"This Hn means yes. Okay Haruno!? Now, thanks to you, I see two of you!!" She waved her hand. "Eh, it's nothing."

Sasuke was speechless for a minute, but then turned his head and said acidly. "Fine! If I die because of you, I'm going to send you a card to my funeral. Do you know what it's going to say!? It's going to say, "IT'S YOUR FAULT" in big red letters!!"

Once again, she shrugged and waved her hand. Sasuke sighed. _"Shikamaru was right, woman **are** troublesome."_

In Konoha, a certain black haired person sneezed and went back to watching the clouds.

Sakura crawled in front of him and let out a very loud, "HN!" Sasuke blinked with surprise and then narrowed his eyes. "Hn." he replied, in a challenging voice.

"Hn."

"Hn."

"HN!"

"Hn!"

"Hn."

"Hn."

"Hn!!"

"Hn."

Thus began the furious exchanges of "Hn". Sakura sounded angry. Sasuke sounded nonchalant. Sakura sounded nonchalant. Sasuke sounded angry. The weird thing was, they could actually understand each other.

Two Hours Later

"Hn."

"Hn!"

"Hn."

"Hn… Oh, could we stop, this is ridiculous!"

Sasuke smirked, "Then I win." Sakura sighed. "Fine, you win." Sasuke tried to punch the air with his fist. His arm twitched. She stood up and stretched, getting rid of the kinks in her spine, and Sasuke took this opportunity to check her out.

Starting at her head, his perverted smirk grew larger and larger and he moved down. One word flashed through his head which was now filled with … things. _"MINE… mine!!" _

Sakura blinked at the drooling Uchiha who was currently gawking at her breasts. She crossed her arms angrily. "Just what do you think you are doing!?" Sasuke blushed and gave a small "Tch" of annoyance.

"Aa, I'm going to take that shower now." She stood up again and started heading towards the bathroom. "MY SPONGE BATH!!" Sasuke demanded, wishing that he could slam his fist into the ground.

She came out, holding a comb and pointed at Sasuke. "Patience is a virtue Minor-Boy."

"I AM NOT MINOR-BOY!!"

"If you're not Minor-Boy, then you're Hentai-Boy you ecchi!"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Naruto will be mine when hell freezes over! …which is never by the way.

FlamedraSeer7213: Ignore Pom-Pom; I stepped on her tail by accident today.

Pom-Pom: Don't lie! You did it on purpose.

FlamedraSeer7213: You were the one suggesting adding some hentai! IT'S TOO GODDAMN EARLY FOR THAT!!

Pom-Pom: Or was it-?

FlamedraSeer7213: LALALA!! Cannot hear ecchi dog speaking!!

Pom-Pom: Incompetent… incoherent…

FlamedraSeer7213: -yelling rather loudly- There is some perverted things in this chapter, courtesy of the ecchi dog!

Pom-Pom: WEEE-!

FlamedraSeer7213: SNEEZE ATTACK NO JUTSU!!

Pom-Pom: -starts sneezing uncontrollably- Damn –sneeze- you!!

FlamedraSeer7213: That is my payback for that stupid perverted part you added! You're like Jiraiya. Except you're not Ero-Sennin, you're Ero-Inu!

Too lazy to type out anything for the reviews… So, thank you anyone who reviewed!

Sasuke wanted to do so many things with his arms now. Like wave them back in forth in frustration as he screeched back. "I am not a Hentai-Boy!"

Sakura stuck out her tongue at him. "Just forget it. You do want your sponge bath, right?" Sasuke nodded and crashed his head into the floor again. She pointed at him with the brush again. He twitched. "If you want your bath, then stay there and wait for me to finish my shower!" She went back into the bathroom.

Sasuke whined one last thing before waiting. "Hurry up! I need to pee REALLY badly!!"

Twenty Minutes Later

Sakura exited the bathroom with her wet hair in a bun. She crossed her arms and looked sternly at the Uchiha on the floor. Then kneeled and shook his shoulder. "Uchiha…" she said. He mumbled. Sakura frowned and tried again. "Ne! Uchiha-san!" He groaned.

"Sasuke-kun…" Sasuke's eyes snapped open after Sakura whispered that into his ear. His first reaction was to leap up, but because of his paralysis, his body just twitched. "Wha-What do you want Haruno?" His face turned the other way. She flicked him on the side of his head. "You forgot your sponge bath already?"

Sakura pushed him into the bathroom. "Get undressed and get into the tub!" She yelled, closing the door. Five seconds passed before Sasuke mumbled softly. "Ano… Haruno?" "Yes. Are you done yet?"

"I think you forgot one thing." She raised her eyebrow. _"What is he talking about?" _"What are you talking about? Just get undressed and go into the tub." There was another pause. "I can't do that." "What!? Why?"

She heard the Uchiha sigh. "I can't undress because of one thing." She looked confused. "…and that one thing is?" "I CAN'T MOVE MY FREAKING BODY, REMEMBER!?" Sakura gave a weak chuckle. Sasuke glared at the door.

Sakura entered the bathroom, her mouth curved into a weak smile. "Sorry Uchiha, I forgot about that." Sasuke gave her the Uchiha Death Glare. "Could you assist me so I could have my freaking sponge bath!?" He hissed at her. She sweat dropped and nodded.

"I'm not going below the waist!!" She quickly stated. Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "How are you going to expect me have a sponge bath if I still have my pants and boxers on!?"

Sakura huffed, "Fine." She walked over to him and started stripping his clothes. Everything was going nice and fine, until… she got to his boxers.

Sasuke felt her stop and held back a malicious smirk. "Scaredy Cat. This is the worst time to be scared." She narrowed her eyes and screamed in his face. "I am not a Scaredy Cat!" He smirked. "Then prove it Haruno… or should I say… Scaredy Cat."

"Fine!" She grabbed his boxers and roughly pulled them down.

She was greeted with something that looked like a deflated sausage. …Okay a rather LARGE deflated sausage. Sakura shrieked and turned away. "WHA-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, a really perverted smirk on his face. "That Haruno, is my penis."

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Sakura was red. Not pink red, but Sharingan eye red. Her curiosity took over and she turned to him again, not looking at the… eh. "…How long?"

She didn't like that devilish twinkle in his eye. "When it's like this? Or when it's…?" Sakura could have been mistaken for a tomato with long pink leaves. "…When it's like…" she trailed off. "It's not that big, say oh… eight inches."

"…can I poke it?" She asked quietly. He nodded. Slowly, her finger went out and poked it. "It's… soft…" She mumbled. Feeling slightly braver, she rubbed the palm of her hand on it.

Sasuke bit his bottom lip. "Sa-Sakura, don't do that. Stop." She pulled her hand back, and gawked at the rapidly growing… thingy. She reached out to touch it again (Sakura's a pervert LOL) and Sasuke screeched out desperately, "NO! SAKURA! NO! OFF! HANDS OFF OF THE PENIS!! OFF!!"

Sasuke was sitting there, rapidly screaming, "COLD WATER! COLD WATER!! GIVE ME COLD WATER!!" Sakura threw a bucket of cold water.

Five Minutes Later

"Feeling better now?" Sakura asked. Sasuke was sweating, profusely. "YesI'mfinehowareyou!?" He blurted out, just wanting to have his stupid sponge bath and go to sleep. _"To sleep and forget that this every happened…" _

"Can we please… just get this stupid thing over with? …I-I want to sleep." Sasuke asked, just about ready to call it quits. Sakura nodded and picked up the sponge. The rest of the bath went on without any other problems.

In The Room After the Bath

"No! No, no, no!!" Sasuke screeched as Sakura was looking through his bag for his boxers.

"That is the wrong part of the bag! There are exploding tags in there!! I said the _big_ pouch!"

"This is the big pouch!"

"No, it's the medium pouch! The big pouch is bigger!"

"That's really helpful Minor-Boy! Really helpful!"

"What!? It's logical that the big pouch would be bigger than the medium pouch!"

"They all look the same to me!"

"They are not the same! I said the big pouch is bigger!"

"By how much then!?"

"An inch!"

"What– the!? WHO CARES ABOUT A FRICKING INCH OF BAG SIZE!?"

"_I_ DO!"

"THEN YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

"WHO ARE YOU TO CALL ME AN IDIOT!?"

"I CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER I WANT! I AM YOUR FATHER!"

Sasuke blinked in confusion. "What the hell are you talking about Haruno!?" Sakura also blinked and rubbed her head. "…What did I say?" Sasuke had an extreme urge to smack his forehead and smash his head against the wall until he died or fainted of the head trauma. Unfortunately, he was paralyzed, so all he could do was sigh sadly. …which he did so very dramatically.

"Just forget it and get my boxers… from the big pouch." Sakura dived for the 'medium' pouch and Sasuke yelled, "NO! That's the medium pouch! Godammit Haruno! Can't you find the stupid pouch!?"

In The Middle of the Night

Luckily for our… people, Sakura found the boxers and tucked Sasuke into his bed and went to sleep in her bed. Sasuke woke up with a large pain in his abdomen. His eyes bulged when he realized what it was.

It was a horrible… wedgie. (I can't spell, -sobs-)

"Haruno…" He hissed, trying to keep the squeak of pain out of his speech. Sakura mumbled something about post-its and rolled over. "Haruno!" He hissed again, this time louder. No response.

"SAKURA!! WAKE UP DAMN IT!" He screeched, letting a squeak of pain escape. Sakura faced him and squinted. "What the hell do you want Uchiha?" She asked; her voice still coarse from sleep. "Pain… wedgie, help! …please?" He squeaked. She narrowed her eyes. "…Go to the bathroom and fix your problem."

"I can't, I'm paralyzed… remember?" She groaned. "Then wallow in your own wedgieness, I want to sleep… I have to treat the fever that you're going to… mggm…" Sakura fell asleep again. Sasuke cursed his luck and slammed his fist down into the sheets.

Wait, hold on. Sasuke stared at his fist and moved it. He moved it again. Then he started snickering. Soon, that snickering evolved into chuckles and then into crazy uncontrolled laughter.

Then Sasuke got hit by Sakura's alarm clock. "SHUT UP, WILL YOU _SHUT UP!?_"


	8. SUPER SPECIAL AUTHOR'S NOTE!

**SUPER SPECIAL AUTHOR'S NOTE!**

FlamedraSeer7213: No, no, this isn't one of those notes saying that I won't continue the story, so don't worry about that! -coughs- As you know, at this time, the high school tests will be… here.

Pom-Pom: What she's basically trying to say is, that she won't be able to update this story or create any new story cause of the damned SHSAT test/exam that is coming up… on Saturday/Sunday November 3rd as she will be taking it.

FlamedraSeer7213: GOD DAMMIT DOG! I can say stuff by myself!!

Pom-Pom: No, you can't!

FlamedraSeer7213: …

Pom-Pom: HA!

FlamedraSeer7213: -wants to leave and gets words mixed up- Now that you understand the worried, don't feel situation when I don't update.

Pom-Pom: Your words are all mixed up. You sound like Sagara Sousuke!

FlamedraSeer7213: -ignoring- I apologize for the short notice on the tests.


	9. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, can you just accept the stupid fact so I don't have to type this at the beginning of the story!? …What was I saying?

Pom-Pom: I am never going to try cooking again… EVER!

FlamedraSeer7213: I told you, you shouldn't put cumin and cinnamon together, but you did just that.

Pom-Pom: Shut up.

FlamedraSeer7213: Whatever, just onward with the fic!

Sasuke woke up the next morning, with a painful headache. _"I never knew that a plastic alarm clock hurled at your head could hurt so much…" _He thought, rubbing his head. Surveying his surroundings, Sasuke let out a yawn. He stumbled to the bathroom.

"_Everything's so… hazy… I feel… dizzy…" _Sasuke nearly fell into the bathtub. He looked at himself in the mirror. _"My god! I look… HORRIBLE!!" _He reached out for his toothbrush, but didn't reach it.

Sakura woke up after the loud thud that echoed throughout the room. She was confused until she remembered the second symptom. _"A high fever that has to be absorbed!" _Hopping out of the bed, she looked around and sped toward the bathroom.

**Sasuke's POV**

…What happened? I was reaching for my toothbrush… then I don't quite remember.

"Uchiha, you okay?"

Pink hair… must be Haruno. "What happened?" I was surprised at my own voice, geez, I sounded like a horse.

She tsked, which irked me a lot and replied. "Baka, you forgot about the second symptom? The high fever?" "Oh right… yeah…"

There was an awkward silence.

Long enough for me to fall asleep.

Damn senbon…

**Third Person Omniscient POV (I sound like an English Teacher… damn…)**

Sakura touched his forehead. He really _was_ burning up. She set him down on one of the beds. Her brows creased in worry and she gently stoked his silky locks. "You're always so careless Sasuke. I wish you'd be more careful."

She looked over the sleeping Uchiha, as she had to tell him how she was going to absorb his fever. Doing this, she fell asleep.

One Hour Later

Sasuke almost leapt up out of the bed. Remembering what had happened, he settled into dark angry cloud of angst. Tapping his index fingers together, he was wondering how Sakura could absorb his fever.

Sakura woke up and visibly sweat dropped. Sasuke was so covered in that cloud of angst that little 'angst's started popping up around him. "Ano… Sa-Sasuke?" She asked meekly.

The cloud of Angst disappeared and Sasuke looked down. "What." It was more of a demand rather than a question. "Are you feeling alright…?" He looked mildly surprised. "I was just wondering how you are supposed to absorb my fever. Does it involve Chakra? Physical Strength?"

Sakura snickered. "For a Shinobi, you really don't know much about medical techniques do you?" Sasuke scowled at her. "You're the Medical Ninja. You should know all this!" Sakura smirked. "I do."

Sakura was searching through her medical bag, as she was having a hard time explaining the process of absorbing a fever. Sasuke picked up a large drill with trembling hands, "WHA-WHAT IS THIS!?!?" he nearly screeched, looking at the very sharp end. She waved her hand, "Oh that's just a drill." There was a thud. "Ano, Uchiha?"

She frowned when she shook him. He wasn't waking up. "Ne, Uchiha, wake up."

She stood up and kicked him.

Nothing.

She pinched him.

Nothing.

She slapped him.

Nothing.

She threw a bucket of cold water on him.

Nothing.

She frowned at him.

Nothing.

She gave him the Uchiha Death Glare©

Nothing.

Finally, she just gave up. _"While he's out cold, I'll go and buy some tomatoes and some chicken noodle soup." _

Two Hours Later

Sakura returned to the inn with lots of tomatoes and onigiri, and chicken noodle soup. "Chicken noodle soup. Chicken noodle soup." She sang repeatedly. Unlocking the door, she fought the urge to laugh like an insane maniac.

Apparently, Sasuke had been going through her bag as he had a pair of pink underwear on his head and he was wearing a pink bra. In his fevered state, heck, he didn't even know what he was doing as he was wrapped in toilet paper. He was bouncing off the walls, singing the "Hamster Dance" very off key occasionally spinning in full 360 circles.

"DEE DEE DEEDEE DOO DOO! DEE BAA LEE DEE DOO!!" Sakura just stood there for about… twenty minutes, watching the Uchiha make a complete fool out of himself. Every time he made a circle, he screeched out, "360 VISION, OH YESS!!" quite obviously mocking the Byakugan.

"Ano… Uchiha?" Sakura asked meekly, unsure if he was sane or not. Sasuke turned to her and answered in a grandmotherly voice. "Yes what is it my child?" "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND!?" Sasuke rapidly shook his head. "NO! No, nononononono!!" He sneezed.

"AWW! MA! You don't have to miss me so much!!" Sakura blinked. "Sasuke? Your mom's dead and has been… for ten years now…" Sasuke looked at her with eyes of innocence.

"WHAT!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"

He sneezed and continued his scream.

"OOOOOOOOOOO-!"

He coughed and continued again.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"

He took a deep breath at his point.

"OOOOOOOOO!!"

Sakura raised her eyebrow. Sasuke was… extremely out of character. He sat down, coughed, and said. "No, you see, chickens are cows are related! Yes they are very related! You-You see, they both start with the letter… P! Ha, I said pee!!"

He turned to Sakura. "How do you spell chicken?" She twitched, but went with his strange request. "C-H-I-C-K-E-N. There, chicken." He threw his fist into the air. "No! That's wrong! Its spelled CEE-I-EE-EN-PEE-BEE-EN-KAY!! There chicken!!" Once again she twitched. "You spelled it C-I-E-N-P-B-N-K. That's not even a word…"

He giggled insanely. "You said PEEBEE!! HAHA! That's a funny word! PEEBEE!" She sighed. "Why do I even try…?" He grabbed her chin and tilted it upward. "It's because I'm your partner… Sakura…" He breathed, his onyx eyes burning into her green eyes. Her cheeks stained pink. "Sasuke?"

He pulled her into a tight, air stealing hug. "YES WHAT IS IT MY QUEEN OF FEET!?" She sighed. _"You think he's finally back to normal then he has to say that…"_

One Hour Later

It turns out that Sasuke had raided her makeup and ended up sniffing some powder into his nose. "It looked suspicious!" Sasuke tried to defend himself. "You know very well what makeup looks like!" Sakura retorted and Sasuke gave a small "Hn."

"Now! I have to explain to you how I am going to absorb your fever!" She proclaimed, clasping her hands together. Sasuke muttered something that sounded long the lines of "Finally."

She glared at him. "What was that Uchiha!?" He gulped visibly. "Oh nothing! Nothing for you worry about!" He replied, sweating bullets. She smacked her hand down on the table, accidentally breaking it with her super strength. She gave a nervous chuckle. "The wood must have been rotting…"

Sasuke smacked his forehead. Sakura got pissed off at him and poked him in the forehead, hard. "Just get on with the cure!" he screeched, rubbing his now very sore forehead.

"I'll treat you by…"


	10. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Nopo, still not mine.

Pom-Pom: You almost fell down the stairs!

FlamedraSeer7213: SHUT UP BEFORE I USE THE KATON: GOUKAKYUU NO JUTSU ON YOU!

Pom-Pom: You can't do that! You can't mol-!

FlamedraSeer7213: TO HELL IF I CAN'T… I'LL FIND A WAY!!

Pom-Pom: Onward with the fic…

FlamedraSeer7213: For some strange reason, I think Sasuke might be falling out the window in this chapter. That might not happen, so don't take my word for it.

Pom-Pom: You have something to celebrate too!

FlamedraSeer7213: That is?

Pom-Pom: The SHSAT is over!

FlamedraSeer7213: -snarls- THAT IS WHERE I NEARLY FELL DOWN THE STAIRS!! DON'T TALK TO ME!

MagicFlames: I remember in a fic that I read; Sasuke threw himself into a bucket of water when he went insane.

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Updating… thanks to the SHSAT being over!!

KaIKaI01: …Here is what you want to know.

gaara's angel: Yes, well we all hate cliffhangers, but it only makes the next chapter more exciting… ya.

kakashifayes: My story is priceless? Thank you!

Kenya: The Queen of Feet came out of nowhere.

goyankeesbooredsox: I try.

aznmelon: Read on! …Although you don't absorb a fever with a kiss…

sasu-sakuforever: Thank you!

Itachi's-Sasuke's-Chick: It's a very… unique poison eh?

"I'll treat you by…" Sasuke tapped his foot. "WELL!?" he asked madly. "Absorbing your fever!" Sasuke fell anime style. "You had already established that fact, Haruno. Are you going soft in the head?"

She shook her head. "No, really that's what I'm going to do, absorb your fever." He glared at her. "Haruno, if you don't tell me how you are going to absorb my fever, I'm going to sniff more of that powder up my nose!" She frowned at him. "You're starting to sound like the main character of "The Book" That weird… augh…" Sasuke sweat dropped.

Flashback

"_Lee, get away from Sakura! Can't you tell that she doesn't like you!?" Sasuke angrily asked, wondering why he didn't just go home quickly like Naruto. Now he was in this very ANNOYING situation in which he wasn't even supposed to be involved in. _

_Lee shook his head. "NO! I CANNOT GIVE UP MY WONDERFUL YOUTHFUL LOVE FOR SAKURA! YOSH! I WILL RUN ONE THOUSAND LAPS AROUND KONOHAKAGURE TO PROVE IT!!" He proclaimed out loud, earning people staring at him. One baby started crying. Another kid threw a water balloon at him. _

_Sasuke and Sakura both twitched. Was he just stupid or did he have some serious brain damage from performing the Lotus so much? _

_Sasuke got an idea. "Hey Lee." Lee looked up. "You can beat people in physical things, but can you beat people in insults?" The so called 'burning fire of youth' sprang up and Lee very loudly proclaimed, "YOSH! I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!!" _

_Sasuke sweat dropped. "It wasn't actually a challenge…" He looked up and sweat dropped even more, if that was possible. _

"_Sakura?" He asked, pointing to a billboard. "Yes?" "When did we get that!?" She looked up also, cue the sweat dropping. _

_I'm not going to tell you what the sigh said! HAHAHAHA-! –shot- Okay fine .It was a picture of Gai-Sensei in a typical Nice Gai Pose. He was holding a book in his hand. It was called, stupidly, "The Book". In quote unquote next to the very LARGE Gai Picture (I swear, I think I can see… a pimple…) it said, "I read "The Book"! It has helped me in my WONDERFUL journeys of WONDERFUL YOUTHFULNESS!! With this book, I can add more –shing- to my smile!" _

_Sasuke twitched, "The Book? What kind of a stupid title is that!?" Sakura sighed. "If Gai-sensei read it, I'm not touching it." Lee raised up in protest. "But it's a very good book!! It talks about-!" "SHUT UP!" They both screamed, covering their ears. _

_Lee looked confused. "Why? It's a very wonderful story about two guys and how they over come many hardships to be together." Sasuke clamped his hands over his ears again and yelled out, "INNOCENT THOUGHTS! LALALALA!! INNOCENT THOUGHTS!!" Sakura stared at Lee in utter horror. _

"_It was a wonderful book." Lee rambled on. "However, there were some rather explicit things in the story that I wished were not there…" Sasuke grabbed Sakura's arm and starting dragging her away, muttering repeatedly, "I'm scarred for life. I'm scarred for life…"_

End Flashback

Sasuke shuttered. He remembered when Lee had to read a part of "The Book" out loud.

Flashback

"_Oh Takaro!" Lee over dramatized. "My feelings for you are so strong, that I would sniff powder up my nose for you!!"_

End Flashback

"Who honestly would do that for someone that they… had feelings for!?" "Tell that to Akira Askikaga, the main character…" Sakura replied rather flatly. Sasuke replied to that, "Remember the nickname Takaro gave Akira?" Sakura shuttered. "The AA Battery? Yeah."

"That. Was. Creepy. It was disturbing." Sakura nodded. "I still can't believe that Lee read a Yaoi book." Sasuke snorted. "You know very well that anything Gai-sensei reads, he must read." They stared at each other before both stating the obvious. "Lee and Gai are weird."

Meanwhile, back in Konoha, the said people were at home with horrible sneezing fits. Shikamaru looked over the poor souls and muttered something. "Troublesome Uchiha and Haruno…"

"ACHOO!" Sasuke and Sakura sneezed at the same time. The sneeze was so powerful that Sasuke nearly fell out the window. So lucky was he to be caught by Sakura.

"Now, how are you supposed to absorb my fever again?" Sakura answered simply. "External contact."

Sasuke spluttered out the next word. "SEX!?" Sakura looked disturbed. "NO! What are you, retarded!?" "I resent being called that." She stuck out her tongue, "Yeah? Well, I just called you retarded, retarded."

"I liked Minor-Boy better…"

"…"

"What was that Haruno?"

"…"

"As I thought; nothing."

"Uchiha?"

"What?"

"…Do you me to show you or not?"

Sasuke nodded, trying to appear not so eager, but failing badly. She smirked and started taking off her shirt. "Wha-What are you doing!?" Sasuke nearly screamed; his arms in front of his rapidly reddening face.

She looked at him innocently, "You said to show you. That's what I'm doing." "…" Sasuke had no answer to that. Soon, all she had on was her undergarments. Of course, he only had his boxers on.

She pushed him roughly on the bed, him having a fever, too weak to resist. Sasuke started sweating. Sakura then placed herself over him and wrapped the blanket over them. "What the hell do we do now?" He asked, still nervous. She shrugged and shifted. "We just wait, meanwhile, lets talk."

He could have sworn that the temperature was rising in the room rather than decreasing. _"…Two… lumps…back…" _Sasuke was using all of his self control not to have a nosebleed or have his little friend _down there_ react.

"Oh Sasuke-kun…" Sakura's silky voice almost sent shivers down his spine. Sasuke desperately thought _"NO! MUST NOT GIVE IN TO WANTS! Umm… UMM!! Think! Itachi in a bikini! NOOO!! TOO VISUAL!! TOO VISUAL!! Erm… revenge! REVENGE! Aww, who am I kidding!? This isn't going to work… D'OH!"_

Sakura wrapped her arms around his bare waist, pulling herself closer. Sasuke's already small self control was just hanging by a tiny little thread. It would be so easy to break it now. _"Please leave me alone… Please leave me alone… Please leave me alone…"_ Sasuke mentally begged, resisting the urge to clasp his hands together and pray to Kami-Sama.

He should have clasped his hands together and pray to Kami-Sama. Sakura did do something. She nibbled his earlobe.

His control didn't even stand a chance. A small snap went off before Sasuke turned around rapidly to face Sakura. She raised an eyebrow at his weird actions. "Uchiha? What are yo-MMMFFH?"

She never got to finish her statement as Sasuke grabbed her shoulders and pressed his lips against hers. Her eyes widened in surprise. This kiss was nothing like the first one, it was longer and softer.

"_Warm… soft…" _To her, the Uchiha's lips were surprisingly soft and warm. She tried to clear her mind and ignore the loud screams of encouragement from Inner Sakura, even hearing a "If you don't freaking kiss back, I'll kill you!"

All of a sudden Sasuke pulled back and nearly ripped the blanket in half. "OH MY GOD, WHAT AM I DOING!?" He nearly sobbed out. He turned towards Sakura, apologizing about fifty times per minute. "I'm sorry! I-I-I didn't mean to violate your… virginity! …OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE!?!?"

He turned away from Sakura, mumbling something about ruined friendship and not being able to share tomatoes on a hot summer day. She tapped his shoulder and said, "It's okay, I accept your apology." She muttered, still blushing over the fact that Sasuke was oblivious to the fact she liked the kiss. The said person quickly spun around and pulled Sakura into a bear hug. "THANK YOU!! YOU'RE THE BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD!" He cried out.

The door of the room opened and a man in his late twenties entered the room, holding a plate. "Room ser- Oh… umm… I-I-I'll cum, I mean come back later!" He quickly spat out and ran out of the room, screeching out "MY EYES! OH MY EYES!!"

Sasuke paled in horror (as if he could with that pale skin though…) at his realization of what suggestive position he was in. Sakura blushed. He pulled away and stuttered out, "Th-That ne-never happened! OKAY!?" Sakura nodded rapidly.

Sasuke stumbled out of the sheets and ran into the bathroom. Sakura heard the shower start and Sasuke's loud yelp of "DAMN, THAT'S COLD!!!"


	11. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! –burps- I however do own that wonderful bowl of ramen and that tomato I just ate.

FlamedraSeer7213: I can burp my name! –burps-

Pom-Pom: You can only burp on command.

FlamedraSeer7213: -burps in Pom-Pom's face- HAHA!

Pom-Pom: You're so unsanitary…

FlamedraSeer7213: You sound like you swallowed a dictionary.

Pom-Pom: This chapter will be very weird as my master here was on a bubblegum high… if that's possible.

MagicFlames: I had Itachi in a Bikini stuck in my head for some strange reason, so I just put that in the story.

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Yes he is rather kawaii sometimes eh?

aznmelon: Yes Sasuke talking about tomatoes is always a good sign.

Kage Mistress of Shadows: As Shadeon said, yes Keeper, Yami is a boy.

velvettears81969: I'm going to add what you said in the beginning of this chapter!

Ninaleoliona: I am trying to upload as fast as I can, ya.

WhItE DoRiAn: Glad to see you liked that part. WOOT, TESTS SUCK! XD

goyankeesbooredsox: Gee, thanks!

Nightfire2211: Thanks!

Kenya: Yes the poor guy indeed. It is disturbing and funny isn't it?

The poor Room Service Guy went to the next room, only to be hit with shoes and a loud old woman's scream of "I WAS GETTING SOME!!" Now getting back to Sasuke and Sakura.

Sasuke turned on some warm water after his little friend calmed down. "Damn hormones…" He mumbled, water dripping off his black locks.

Sakura was sitting on the floor with one of her legs folded and touching her chest. _"What's taking him so long? We have to get to the next town."_ She thought, frowning.

She nearly jumped when a dripping wet Sasuke erupted from the bathroom, a towel around his waist. From the looks of it, he looked very angry and embarrassed as his face was flushed pink. "Turn away." He grudged. She blinked. He turned a darker shade of pink and snarled, "Turn away so I could get dressed!"

One Hour Later

"Sa-ku-ra…" Sasuke angrily mumbled, gritting his teeth. "You said that we had to get to the next place ASAP, right?" She looked at him and nodded. He lifted his arm to reveal three kittens clinging on for dear life, four more on his head. "THIS IS NOT ASAP!!" He screeched. "You take me to a kitten store and look at kittens! WHY AREN'T THE KITTENS STICKING ON TO YOU!? WHY ARE THEY STICKING ONTO _ME_!?"

She nodded absentmindedly. He nearly blew up.

"You're not listening to me are you?"

She nodded.

"You're constipated aren't you?"

She nodded.

"Are you a guy?"

She nodded.

Sasuke silently chuckled evilly. _"This could be a lot of fun."_

"Ne, Sakura."

She nodded.

"Do you like Pokemon?"

She nodded.

"What's your favorite pokemon?"

She nodded.

"Is it Jinx?"

She nodded.

"Do you want me to kiss you like Jinx does?"

She nodded.

"You sure?"

She nodded.

Grabbing her shoulders, he crushed his lips on hers. Her eyes widened and she shoved him away. "What the hell did you do that for!?" She snarled at him. Sasuke replied in a series of short screams.

"AAAAAH!!" He screamed, motioning to the store. "AAAAAAAH!!" He screamed motioning to the kittens. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!" He screamed loudly, motioning to the kittens attached to his arms and legs and head, their tiny claws digging into his skin. He then pulled out his mission scroll and pointed at it, "AAAAAAAAAAHH!!" She raised an eyebrow at his antics. "Look Uchiha, just tell me what is wrong!"

Sasuke nearly flung his arms up in frustration. Then he remembered he had the kittens on his arms and legs and decided to moan miserably. She crossed her arms, "Stop acting like an actor in a dramatic play and spit it out!"

"THIS!" He snarled, motioning towards the store and the kittens, almost accidentally flinging the kittens off his arm. "THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG!"

"And what is wrong with this?"

"EVERYTHING!!"

"Define everything."

"WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TRAVELING TO THE NEXT FRICKING TOWN! BUT ARE WE!? NOOOO! YOU HAD TO STOP IN A FRICKING KITTEN STORE AND HAVE SOME FRICKING KITTENS CLAW AT ME AND NEARLY RIP OFF MY FRICKING SCALP!!"

"Such language!"

"AAAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!"

"Alright, alright, fine. We're leaving, Kitten Complex."

"I HAVE NOTHING WRONG WITH KITTENS!"

"Tell that to the pulsing vein on your head."

"You are just so… so… UGH!"

With that said, Sasuke and Sakura both left the kitten store.

An Hour Later

"Sakura…" Sasuke growled, knee deep in a swamp. She turned to him. "Yes?" "Would you please explain..." He muttered, trying to keep his anger at a bare minimum which was rather hard now. "WHAT IN ASGARD'S SAKE WE ARE DOING IN A SWAMP!?"

She shrugged, "It's a short cut." Sasuke took in a deep breath to keep his sanity intact which was nearly impossible at this point. "To where?" "The next place on the mission map."

He raised an eyebrow. "There's a mission map?" She nodded and grabbed his arm. "NOW! LET US GOO!!" She screamed, pulling him, causing him to fall face first into the dark murky water.

Half An Hour Later

"Finally!" Sasuke gasped, "FRESH AIR!!" Sakura grinned.

"Uchiha, Haruno, why are you here?" Sasuke and Sakura let out two bloodcurdling screams at the sudden appearance of a certain Sand Kazekage.

Gaara glared at them with his pale blue eyes. "Umm… what are you doing here, Gaara…?" Sakura asked, sweat dropping. He replied with a glare. "I should be asking that." "Uhh… we have a mission here…?" Sasuke answered.

The Red Hair crossed his arms and sighed dramatically. "Yes you have a mission of course." "What are you doing here, Gaara?" Sakura asked. "If you must know, I live here." Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "This is Sunagakure?" Gaara twitched. "No, this is _my_ house and that is _my_ swamp that you guys had been walking through this whole time."

"But, isn't your house _in_ Sunagakure…?"

"It's too sandy there."

"I thought you liked sand."

Death Glare

"Oh, umm, never mind."

"Would you leave now? I am Feng Shuiing my backyard." He stated.

"But your backyard is-."

"WOULD YOU KINDLY LEAVE!?"

"Just explain why-."

"Leave."

"Ex-."

"LEAVE ALREADY GOD DAMMIT!!"

A HUGE wave of sand swept them away and all you could see was the amazing flying Uchiha and Haruno duo!! No wait… they're falling…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH –breath- AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Sakura/Sasuke both screamed on the top of their lungs, silently praying to Kami-sama that they would survive the death fall.

Being the Shinobi they were, they of course, survived. Only to land near a very angry lion's den. "Into the frying pan and of the freaking fire!!" Sakura screamed, running. "You idiot! It's out of the frying pan and into the fire!!" Sasuke retorted, also screaming and running from the angry lioness.

"Whatever!! We're going to die!!" She sobbed, running as fast as she could humanly do. Sasuke turned around and threw a kunai at the lioness' eyes. The lion quickly retreated. Sasuke turned towards Sakura and sweat dropped.

"OMG WE'RE GOING TO DIEEEE!!" Sakura screamed over dramatically and oblivious the fact that the lion was gone, not even looking where she was running to insanely.

"Sakura! WATCH OUT FOR THA-!" A loud bang echoed through the forest. "…tree." Sasuke finished, sweat dropping.


	12. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine!

I hate telemarketers. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST EXCEPT THE FACT THAT I DON'T WANT A KITCHEN KNIFE!? It's so troublesome going to phone after I just got comfortable!! I will be attempting to add some fluffy parts.

MagicFlames: I had watched something with someone Feng Shuiing their backyard, so I thought who won't Feng Shui their backyard?

Kage Mistress of Shadows: Still didn't catch Yami yet, eh Keeper?

aznmelon: I guess that's what happens when you watch "George of the Jungle" and "Naruto" straight afterwards… XD

Ninaleoliona: Eh, I was on a bubblegum high.

Hiro the Wolf: I specialize in insanity and fire pokemon, just ask my friends. –smiles-

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: I try.

S2-SAKURA-S2: Hai!

tiffanylicis: -smiles-

Kenya: NO! I must aim to make you laugh through the whole chapter! Umm… UMM!

velvettears81969: Yup.

goyankeesbooredsox: I think either Sasuke had some catnip in his pocket or he just made them angry somehow or that maybe they were fan girls in disguise!! XD

Sasuke walked over to Sakura, who was currently lying on the forest floor. "Ne, Sakura." No response. He frowned and shook her shoulder. Still no response. He tapped his chin and considered some options.

He could leave her there and just leave. To suffer the consequences when she woke up and caught up with him. He winced at the thought of being killed by a girl who he called weak before. _"Moving on."_

He could carry her to the next destination. …WHERE WAS THE NEXT DESTINATION!? If he did that, he would probably get lost in this… place and when Sakura woke up, he would still have to face her wrath. _"Not good, next."_

He could go into a screaming rage and shake her until she woke up. WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING!? If he did that, he would _definitely_ get on Sakura's bad side. Her bad side was something he did _not_ want to be on.

I mean, first of all, she had that freaky deaky super strength that could very well kill him in one hit. Probably even Orochimaru would die if he got hit by her directly. Second, she was fast, really fast. Even if he ran, she'd probably catch up in two seconds. Then use her strength to beat him to a pulp. He winced again, _"Not a pretty sight…"_

He looked at the tree and sweat dropped. There was a piece, okay a lot of her red shirt torn on the branch. Sasuke turned back to the facedown Sakura, contemplating whether or not to turn her around. _"Well, she's unconscious now, so it'll be okay. I won't get the daylights punched out of me… hopefully…"_

He gave a sigh of relief, _"Good, she's really unconscious. I can't die yet; I didn't revive my clan yet."_

A voice popped up in his head. **Fine, if you want to revive your clan, do it now! You've got a nice pretty female in front of you!**

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. _Who are you?_

**I am you!!**

_WHAT!? But, I am I! So if you are me, then am I you!?_

**Yes, no, wait. …WHAT!?**

…_I don't know. Anyway, what are you doing here… me?_

**I am here because I am here!!**

_THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!_

**Yes it does!**

_State your name and your birthday._

**My name is Uchiha Teme Sasuke and my birthday is July 23rd**

…_MY MIDDLE NAME'S TEME!?_

**Nah, I was just screwing with ya.**

…

**The point is you're in love in Sakura-chan!**

…_I am not._

**Are so.**

_I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HER!!!_

**If you don't love her or even like her in the slightest, then you're gay.**

_I am not gay! I do like her a bit, but that's all!!_

**-cough-DENIAL-cough-**

_WHAT WAS THAT!?_

**Oh nothing, -cough-DENIAL-cough-**

…_You're evil, I hate you._

**You can't hate yourself!**

_-cough-SMARTASS-cough-_

…

_HAHA! I HAVE OUT SMARTED MYSELF!_

**That's not such a great accomplishment you know.**

_YOU SHUT UP AND BE A GOOD LITTLE…ME!!_

**As hopeless as always…**

_I resent being called that!_

**You are hopeless, let's just leave at that.**

_OMAI-!_

**Well, I'm hungry so I'll be leaving. Just remember, the first time for a girl is painful, so be really gentle.**

_WHAT!? You-You pervert!!_

**One more thing, USE PROTECTION!**

_You HENTAI!!_

**Sakura's waking up now you know.**

The raven haired boy turned back to Sakura, who was indeed waking up. "Ne, Sakura, are you alright?" He asked a hint of worry in his voice. "Hmm? Who's there? Is that you Sa-su-kei?" Sasuke nodded.

All of a sudden she leaped up and pulled out about fifty kunai, scaring the crap out of Sasuke. "Sa-Sakura!?" Sasuke screamed out, wondering if she was sane. "Where is the lion!?" "Eh?"

She grabbed his shoulders and started shaking him rapidly, with the kunai still on her fingers. "Where is the lion?" She snarled, shaking him. Sasuke wanted to pry Sakura's hands off his shoulders, but the kunai were dangerously close to his neck. "Stop… shaking… me… I'll… tell… you!!" he managed to said between shakes.

Sakura looked at him skeptically but let him go nonetheless. Sasuke took in gratefully some gulps of air, rubbing his neck to check if there were any cuts.

"The lioness, I threw some kunai at her and she went away." Sakura held back an urge to slap him.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE!?"

"How am supposed to tell you something if you were shaking me like there was not tomorrow!?"

"You could have at least tried!"

"I COULDN'T, I WAS TRYING TO PREVENT MY INNER SELF FROM SAYING THAT I REALLY LIKE YOU!!"

"Wha-What did you say?"

Smacking his hands over his mouth after realizing what he had just said; Sasuke's face turned a deep red. Sakura was bashfully looking the other way. He tried to open his mouth and try to make Sakura think that she didn't hear that.

"An-Ano sa!!" The same thing came out of both of their mouths.

"Hey, you!"

"Stop copying me!"

"I'm not copying you, you're copying ME!"

"No!"

"YES!"

"No!"

"Stop mimicking me!!"

"Stop mimicking me, Haruno!"

"You stop mimicking me, Sasuke!"

Sakura all of a sudden started laughing. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What are you laughing at." He demanded, it sounded more like a statement than a question. She pointed at him and threw back her head and laughed.

After she had calmed down, she wrote his first name and her first name in the dirt on the ground. "You see Sasuke, my name, Sakura is pronounced, "Sa-ku-ra", right?" He snorted and replied, "Yeah of course."

She pointed at his name. "However, unlike my name, your name Sasuke is pronounced, "Sas-kei", but if you pronounced it like it is spelled." She snickered a bit, "It's pronounced, "Sa-su-ke". And- oh god! IT'S SO FUNNY!!" She started having another laughing fit, while the Uchiha next to her twitched in anger, both at her laughing and the embarrassing fact about his name.

Five minutes later, Sakura was still in her laughing fit, tears streaming down her face and slamming her fist into the ground. Sasuke was turning extremely red like the tomatoes that he liked at either anger or embarrassment or probably both.

"Sa-Sakura…" Sasuke mumbled, his left eyebrow twitching. "It-it's not that funny." She wiped the tears from her eyes, "But it is funny Uchiha! Oh god, come to think of it, doesn't your last name, "Uchiha" mean "Paper Fan"? HA! Sa-su-kei Paper Fan!!! HAHAHAHA- OWW!!" Sasuke pinched her arm hard.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR, YOU TEME!?" She snarled at him, her kunai and shuriken out. He quickly held up his hands in defense, "You were laughing at my name!! I-I-I had a right!!" He spat out, cursing himself that he didn't take out his weapons fast enough.

She giggled, "You look cute when you're flustered." "I-I am not flustered!!" he countered, getting even more flustered.

"See, you are flustered!"

"I AM NOT FLUSTERED!!"

"Flustered Paper Fan Boy, flustered paper fan boy!"

"I am not flustered and I am not a paper fan boy!!"

"Fine. Flustered Uchiwa! Flustered Uchiwa!" (Uchiwa means paper fan)

"My last name is UCHIHA! Not Uchiwa!!"

"That's another way to say Uchiha. Besides, did I say that it was you I was talking about?"

"…"

"HAHA! You outsmarted yourself, you dumbass!"

"…"

Suddenly there was a rustling in the bushes. Both of them immediately braced themselves. Sakura started to release Chakra. Sasuke activated the Sharingan.

A bunny bounced out of the woods. Cue the twitching, until Sakura noticed something a little too late.

"OMG! It's an exploding ta-!" A large explosion hit the area. When the smoke cleared, the unconscious bodies of Sakura and Sasuke were being carried away by moving shadows…

Yes, you can call me evil. It's a cliffhanger.


	13. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. Nether is the tasty Japanese Snack Pocky.

I am going to kill whoever made Prep Schools. After the goddamned SHSAT is finally over and I think I can have some free time, my mom tells me, you're going to prep school on Saturday. I'm like, WHAT!? WHY!? She responses that she signed me up for it. I twitched almost yell, WHY DO YOU DO ALL THIS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!? She shakes her head and replies, Cos I'm your mom. I want to have a free Saturday to type this story!! EVERYONE HAS FREE WEEKENDS EXCEPT FOR ME!!

Oh yeah and 100+ REVIEWS!! YESS!! I hug you all!! And give you Poptarts! If you can't eat Poptarts, then I give you a five dollar bill! Or a hot dog.

MagicFlames: I actually never noticed how his name was weird like that until my friend pointed it out.

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: I hate cliffhangers too, but it just makes the next chapter more exciting ne?

Hiro the Wolf: Long live the fire pokemon!

Ninaleoliona: -grins-

Belinda: Yeah, I know Sasuke's birthday is on July 23rd; I just needed to add something.

WhItE DoRiAn: I like messing around with Telemarketers too. Since I am Chinese, I can speak to them and call them eggheads or something.

Kenya: Thank you!

Kage Mistress of Shadows: Well, you end up talking to a box of Pocky.

goyankeesbooredsox: Updating!

littlehomiieex3: Yes I will sah!

Sakura woke up, rubbing her head that was very sore for some reason. "Haruno?" She looked up to see Sasuke tied to a pole. "What are you doing tied onto a pole Uchiha?" Sasuke looked pissed. "I didn't tie myself to the pole, so I wouldn't know!!"

Sakura blinked. He sighed in frustration. "Look, could you just get me down!?" She stood up and started to walk over to him when a weird looking guy stepped in front of her.

"No! DO NOT TOUCH THE SPIKY HAIR-BOY!! HE IS EVIL!!" The guy proclaimed, pointing at Sasuke repeatedly. "It's not very polite to point you know…" Sasuke commented, getting irked. Sakura raised her eyebrow. "What is your name anyway… sir?"

The weird man pounded his chest, "My name is… Pocky!" Sasuke/Sakura both twitched. "Po-Pocky!?" Pocky shrugged. "Eh, I saw it on a cardboard box."

"But anyway!" Pocky continued, getting back on subject. "Spiky hair-boy is evil!" Sasuke twitched. "You barely know me… Look could you just get me down and give me a cup of water?" Pocky blinked, "Oh, sure why not." Sasuke got off of the pole and Pocky placed a cup of water in front of him. Sasuke accidentally kicked it coming down and Pocky wailed.

"OH NO! What have you done!?" He screamed, pointing at the spilt water. Sasuke's left eye twitched as did Sakura's. "Just look at it! There's so much water!" The small puddle of water was barely 2 inches in diameter. "The world is going to drown! WE WILL ALL DIE IN AN UNHOLY SEA OF UNESCAPABLE WATER!!" Pocky panicked.

He picked up a random rope and threw it at Sasuke and Sakura. "Here! Grab the rope! I'm saving you!!" Sasuke raised his hand. "Umm, actually we don-" "SIR!" "I really don't ne-" "SIR! I cannot save you if you do not cooperate with me!!" Pocky screeched. Sakura started to say, "But really we don-" "JUST GRAB THE STUPID ROPE!!" They didn't grab it. "GRAB IT OR ALL RIP YOUR HEADS OFF!"

They quickly grabbed hold of the rope. Pocky pulled and brought them to him. "Yes! I have saved you! Thank me and my men!!" Sakura raised her eyebrow. "But, there are no men." Pocky looked behind him and wailed at the sight of his men sleeping. "Oh no! Look! They can't swim! You drowned them spiky hair-boy!!"

Sasuke huffed, "My name is Uchiha Sasuke, not spiky hair-boy." Pocky dismissed the matter with a wave and started wailing again. "Oh no! Thanks to you Spiky Hair-Boy, everyone is going die!! THE WORLD IS DOOMED!!"

Sighing, Sasuke went over to his bag and pulled out a rag. Pocky blinked, _"Huh? What's he going to do with that? He doesn't have time to clean up, we have to save everyone!" _Sasuke walked over to the small puddle of water and cleaned it up. "There!" He said, pointing at the now dry area. "The water's gone!"

Pocky's eyes filled up with tears. "THANK YOU!!" He cried, launching himself and latching himself onto Sasuke. "You-You saved the world!! I am forever in your gratitude!!" Sasuke squirmed uncomfortably. "Get off of me!"

He tried shaking Pocky off, but that didn't work.

He tried punching him, but that didn't work.

He shrieked like a little girl, but of course, that didn't work.

He ran around three trees, screaming bloody murder, but that didn't work.

He sighed, that didn't work.

Finally Sasuke had to resort to the last thing. Taking in a large breath, he burped as loud as he could in Pocky's face. So powerful that the burp was, Pocky went flying into the trees. "How did you do that!?" Sakura almost screamed. Sasuke shrugged, "It comes from practicing the Goukakyuu no Jutsu (Great Fireball Technique) so much…"

One Hour Later

"Where is the next place on the mission map!?" Sasuke hissed, angry at the fact that he couldn't view the map. Sakura sighed, "Gee, talk about mood swings… Is it your time of month?" He looked confused, "Time… of… month?" She smacked her forehead, "Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're not a girl."

He narrowed his eyes. "And what's that supposed to mean?" She blinked. "Are you stupid? It means you're not a girl." He crossed his arms, "What is this 'time of month' thing?" She twitched. "You don't know!?" A quick shake of the head. She smacked her forehead again and mumbled something along the lines of, "He doesn't know about this!?"

"Does this have something to do with blood coming from a _certain_ part in your body?" He asked, blushing momentarily at the certain part. She nodded rapidly, a light blush on her cheeks also.

Two Seconds Pass

"Why didn't you tell me that!?" Sakura nearly roared, punching the Uchiha, "It would have saved me from embarrassment!!"

"You never asked!!" Sasuke retorted, trying to prevent Sakura from hitting him.

"I did so ask!!" She screamed, still hitting him.

"No! No you didn't!!" He yelled, still shielding his body.

"Yes! Yes I did!!" She managed to belt him in the ribs.

"No you didn't! Stop hitting me!! I'm an injured person!" He screeched, touching his ribs gingerly with one hand and the other was trying to prevent Sakura from hitting him anymore.

She reluctantly stopped hitting him. He took his chance to examine his ribs. _"No, nothing broken, but it hurts like hell!!" _He thought, tears coming to his eyes when he pressed a little too hard on one part.

"Who was that Pocky guy anyway?" Sakura asked, "And why did he blow up the poor bunny!?" "A disturbed guy who named himself after a popular Japanese snack, that's who." He responded.

"But-But!" Tears starts coming in her eyes. "He-He-he!!" Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "He _what_?" "He blew up the rabbit!!" Sasuke twitched.

"So, let me get this straight, you're okay with killing people, but not okay with little animals getting killed?"

"Yes! I mean no! I mean… I mean!"

"You're nuts."

"I am not!"

"You just told me that you're okay with killing people, but not okay with killing animals. That is in my description of nuts."

"You're a kisama! (bastard)"

"I'll take that as a complement."

"It's not a complement!!"

"I know that already."

"Then why did you-?"

"Take that as a complement? 'Cause I wanted to."

She stomped her foot on the ground. "You are just so… so… UGH!" She threw her arms over her head and stormed away. Sasuke's eyes widened. _"She has the mission map!" _He remember, running after. "Wait Sakura! Wait!! You have the-!" She walked faster.

He stopped walking and started yelling. "Wait! The mission m-!" She still continued. Sasuke raised his head and screamed, "DAMMIT!"

Sakura hurled a brick (that she got out of nowhere) at his head. "You shut up!" It bounced off his forehead protector. Sasuke collapsed in a heap, a loud thud gracing Sakura's eardrums. That was followed by a loud angry snarl of words erupting from the young Uchiha's mouth.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!? WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET A FREAKING BRICK FROM!? THAT HURT PINK HAIR!!"

"As dirty mouthed as ever are we Uchiha?" She commented, raising an eyebrow at the Uchiha who was on the floor, his face twisted with anger. "Why you-!" She shrugged. "Whatever, lets just get to the next place on the mission map."

Next Place on The Mission Map

"Sakura…" Sasuke muttered, knowing that he seemed to be using his angry tone a lot these days. "WHY DID YOU BRING ME TO A TOWN FULL OF CLINGY SQUEALING FAN GIRLS!?!?" She flicked his forehead. "Be nice!" She scolded. "How am I supposed to be nice if they're glomping me to death!?" He yelped. "You be nice or I'll force a bar of soap down your throat!"

"No!" Sasuke squealed, pressing himself as close as he could to a wall. _"Damn wall! Why does it have to be white!?"_ "You!" he pointed at one of the countless fan girls that were forcing him to act in this un-Sasuke-ish way. Oh wait; he's un-Sasuke-ish in this story anyway.

"Stop touching me!!" He squeaked. Some of the fan girls attempted to feed him grapes. "No! I don't want grapes!! I don't-! HEY! Didn't I say no grapes!?" He narrowed his eyes, attempting his trademark Uchiha Death Glare®, only to be interrupted by the crashing of about fifty million squealing fan girls.

Sasuke spent the rest of the day rejecting begs and bribes.

* * *

"Uchiha-sama, will you go to the dance with me?"

"Look lady, I can't dance. Leave me alone."

* * *

"Sasuke-kun…"

"NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

* * *

"I brought this choco-."

"Yes, it's very nice to know you like chocolate, now if you'll excuse me, I need to go somewhere."

* * *

"I made you a cake!"

"I don't like sweets."

* * *

"SASUKE-KUN! I LOVE YOU!"

"Fan girl! I don't love you!"

* * *

"SASUKE-SAMA!!"

"…You are hurting my eardrums…"

* * *

Later in an Inn

"Not a good day?" Sakura asked smugly. He growled at her angrily. "You shut up, demon lady." He mumbled before turning over to the window in his bed. Instantly regretting it.

"SASUKE-KUN!!" Thousands of fan girls were pressed up against the window, hearts in their eyes.

Sweat dropping, he turned over to Sakura. "Hey… Haruno. Want to switch beds?" She held back a giggle. "Sorry, you're alone on this one."


	14. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, I'd steal all his ramen and Sasuke's tomatoes for myself.

FlamedraSeer7213: Here we are with a new chapter!

Pom-Pom: Why do you sound so happy?  
FlamedraSeer7213: Arei? Is it bad to sound happy?

Pom-Pom: No, it's just that smile on your face is starting to creep me out…

FlamedraSeer7213: I am sorry about not updating for so long. I just kind of spaced out… Anyway! Onward with the fic!

Pom-Pom: Yeah.

Kage Mistress of Shadows: Hey, you caught Yami!

aznmelon: I can't eat Pocky, so I'll just settle for this pack of real Pocky! –munch, crunch- S'good…

MagicFlames: I had to add Fan Girls somewhere along the line.

velvettears81969: Updating!

Kenya: My favorite one was with the girl saying something about chocolate and Sasuke says, "Yes it's very nice to know you like chocolate."

tiffanylicis: Happy to see you liked the chapter!

littlehomiieex3: You never actually see the fan girls attack him, so I thought it would be fun.

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Updating!

Hiro the Wolf: -bangs hand on table- You are right! He is the cold hearted teme in the Anime! –bangs hand on table again and accidentally hurts self- OWW!!

Ninaleoleona: You'll just have to wait and see! Mind you that this chapter is the third day.

pandapinkbaby: Thank you!

goyankeesbooredsox: Gee thanks!

WhItE DoRiAn: Thank you! Thank you very much! XD

* * *

"Please?" Sasuke begged, the fan girls starting to really scare him. Sakura shook her head. He tsked and waved his hand. "Oh forget _you_!" He hissed. She just smirked.

He turned to the fan girls. "Look, listen!" He commanded, making a couple of the girls faint and hit the sidewalk. …Ooo that must have hurt… "One! I am not interested in any of you!" They all nodded. "Two! I would like it if you would leave me alone, I need my sleep!" They all nodded.

A few seconds passed.

"You're not listening to me, just looking at my lips aren't you?" He asked exasperatedly. They nodded. He waved his hand in anger, "Never mind! You're all retarded!" He screeched, turned away from the window. He held back the urge to kill them when one of the fan girls squealed, "OMG! IT'S SASUKE-KUN'S ASS! LET'S TAKE PICTURES!!"

He turned around and snarled at them, "LOOK! LET ME GET SOME DAMNED SLEEP!! IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY WINDOW, I'M GONNA THROW A FLAMING MACE AT EVERY ONE OF YOU, YOU DAMNED FAN GIRLS!!" He smirked as the crows dispersed very quickly. _"Now about that sleep…"_

That didn't happen as a mosquito buzzed by his ear. That was it for the poor Uchiha's patience. An audible snap was heard in his head.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!" Sasuke's frustrated sleep deprived scream echoed through the entire town.

The Next Morning

"Uchiha…" Sakura mumbled in a very angry quiet voice. "What happened last night to make you do this!?" She screaming, pointing at the almost destroyed inn room. He sweat dropped. "Well you see, there was this-" "Enough with the excuses!!" She was about to beat him to Mars when the door opened.

Naruto entered the room wearing a nice shirt and dress pants. "Room ser- holy Hokage! Sakura-chan!? Sasuke-teme!?" He gawked, pointing at the said people.

"Hn." Sasuke responded, feeling anti-social as always.

"Sup." Sakura piped, still looking kind of mad.

"Hey Sakura… are you feeling alright? You look really mad… OMG! Sasuke-teme, have you tainted her youth!?" He screeched, sounding like Lee. Sasuke gave him the patented Uchiha glare. Sakura cracked her knuckles, an evil aura starting to surround her. Naruto let out a "Meep!"

"Naruto…" They both mumbled in a futile attempt to hold in their anger.

Five seconds later a yellow flash dashed across the sky and everyone swore that they could hear a loud scream of "Dattebayo!!" afterwards.

"You know." Sakura started after Naruto stopped flying through the air and hit a tree. "Today's the third day." Sasuke nodded. A moment of silence if you please. Sakura whipped out some chakra strings. "I'm going to have to tie you to the bed!"

Five Minutes Later

"Uchiha!" Sakura angrily yelled. "Hn." He replied; feeling anti-social again. "How the hell did _I_ end up tied up!?" She screeched, clearly frustrated angry and probably embarrassed at the situation at hand. "Because I'm stronger than you and…" he trailed off, his eyes starting to cloud over. _"SHIT! SHIT! SHITTY SHIT!! The poison's effect is starting!" _Her thoughts were interrupted as his hands gently stroked her hair.

"Uchiha?" She asked, hoping that the poison didn't go into effect yet. "Yes?" He purred, looking her straight in the face with lust filled eyes. "Would you untie me? The strings are starting to hurt…" She half asked and half begged, adding a pitiful, "Onegai?" afterwards.

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Sakura's eyes widened in shook. _"Crap! He is under the control of the poison! This… this is bad!" _She was taken back into what was happening when Sasuke started speaking again.

"You see, Sakura…" He rubbed the pad of his thumb against her bottom lip. "I'm pretty sure you will _leave_ if I let you go." He grabbed her chin bore his eyes into hers. "You _won't leave_ will you?" He hissed, his nails digging into her skin. She shook her head rapidly. "No! I-I won't leave! I'll stay!" She promised, knowing very well that she would bolt out the door if she could.

He released his grip on her. _"Did it work?"_ She thought, hoping it did. "Hn, you were never too good in lying, Sakura." Her inwards shook. "Ly-lying!? Why would I lie to you Sasuke…kun!?" She tried to persuade him, quickly adding the 'kun' part.

Sasuke gave a low chuckle, his eyes glinting. "It's no use lying to me, Sakura-_chan_." She attempted to melt into the wall. Course that didn't work. She then tried screaming random words at him.

"ANO! ANONE! BLARGH! BLARGHY! MEH! WEEEEE!! TOMATOES! PEEBEE! RAMEN!! FOREHEAD! PAPER! CRANE!! BUSH! BEEF PATTY!!" She screamed in his face, frustrated that there was no reaction from the ever stoic Uchiha. He raised an eyebrow at her antics.

"LANGENSCHEIDT!! POOP! BAG! PIMPLE! INSTANT LUNCH! SHAMPOO! SHRIMP! PLASTIC! REACT ALREADY DAMMIT!!" She gave up, almost completely out of breath. "Have you finally shut up?" He asked her, annoyed by her antics.

"I WILL NEVER SHUT UP AS LONG AS YOU KEEP ME TIED UP!!" She proclaimed. Sasuke ran a hand through his hair in anger. Sakura gave a dry chuckle, "You can never shut me up! My talking reins SUPREME!! You cannot-mfffffh!!" He leaned forward and had closed the distance between them.

Sakura stayed quiet from shook. He smirked, "Now where was I?" He tapped his chin while Sakura gulped visibly. _"OMG, is he going to… to… rape me!?"_ Tears started pooling in her eyes, when Sasuke finally stopped thinking; he looked at Sakura and sweat dropped.

"Sa-Sakura-chan, are you okay?" He asked, genuine concern in his voice. "Onegai…" She squealed. He raised an eyebrow. "Onegai, what?" "PLEASE DON'T RAPE MEEEE!" He cupped her face with his hands. "Now why would I do that to you, Saku-chan?"

Two Minutes Later

"I'm sorry! I won't be long!" Sakura bowed and ran out of the room. "OY! You stupid teme! Don't you leave me tied down in _this_ kind of town!!! SAKU-CHAN! SAKU-CHAN!!" Sasuke screamed, him now tied down to the bed, squirming.

Doctor's Office

"EH!? Are you serious!?" Sakura nearly screeched. The doctor raised her arms. "Could you please quiet down? This is a doctor's office… Yes, I am serious, from the symptoms you told me. His third symptom is that he will try and _do_ his female partner. However, if his female partner is someone he has, romantic feelings for, he will try and persuade you to willingly bed with him. Then do the deed. However, this condition will be slipping in and out. The way he acts in one minute may be completely different the next. He will try and get you into bed."

Sakura shivered, _"So that's why he was acting that way…"_ She turned to the doctor and walked towards the window. "Thank you doctor." She jumped out the window, disappearing. The doctor walked over the window. "WHY DO NINJAS ALWAYS LIKE DOING THAT!? IT GETS ME WORRIED!!"

Back At the Inn

She unlocked the door and slowly crept in. "Finally decided to come back, Saku-chan?" _"Eekuu!" _She mentally squeaked. She turned around slowly, creaking like a robot, to see Sasuke still tied to the bed. He had a disgruntled expression on his face, his eyebrows like a straight line down and his eyes narrowed so badly she was surprised if he could even see.

"Aa… I'm sorry Sasuke. I had to do something." He turned his head, "Hn." She sighed. "Back on the one worded responses, Sasuke?" "Hn." "I thought so."

"So…" he whispered into her earlobe, earning a loud bloodcurdling scream from the pink Kunoichi. "God…" He mumbled, rubbing his ear, "Do you have to scream that loud? Am I really that scary!?"

Incoherent words started seeping out of Sakura's mouth, pointing at the bed, Sasuke, and herself as she spoke. "What, who what? WHERE!? How? You! Bed! Tied! Chakra! I! Tied! WHA-HOW!?" He twitched, "If you're asking me how I untied myself from the Chakra strings, then it's simple. I used the rope untying no jutsu. It's basic academy stuff Saku."

She nearly smacked herself in the head. _"Of course! Why didn't I use that when I was tied up!? BAKA!" _He gave a chuckle and she soon found herself tied down again. "Now what to do so you won't run away again…" He said his thoughts out loud, slowly putting his hands into the seal of the tiger…

* * *

FlamedraSeer7213: Cliffhanger! Sorry about the last part. I'm listening to Orochimaru's theme in my iTunes library!

Pom-Pom: She's also enjoying a tomato.

FlamedraSeer7213: I LOVE tomatoes!


	15. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

FlamedraSeer7213: I'm sorry! I don't want to do a hentai scene!

Pom-Pom: That doesn't make it okay to change the rating to T!

FlamedraSeer7213: It is T material! Hey what are you doing!?

Pom-Pom: -changes rating to M-

FlamedraSeer7213: -changes rating to T-

Pom-Pom: -changes rating to M-

FlamedraSeer7213: -changes rating to T-

Pom-Pom: -changes rating to M-

FlamedraSeer7213: -changes rating to T-

Random Guy Reading Fic: WTF!?

FlamedraSeer7213: Fine, it'll be M, you have my tomatoes…

Pom-Pom: -smirks-

* * *

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Woot for tomatoes!

Kage Mistress of Shadows: It's supposed to be romance/humor so there will be some parts that are not funny and stuff.

littlehomiieex3: Fan girls are really scary sometimes.

Kenya: Well, first you need to download some Naruto songs. Then go into your iTunes library and got to file. Then find "Add file to library" and you'll browse your music files, when you find your Naruto song file, upload it'll be in your library!

Ninaleoliona: My favorite Pocky kind is Pocky Mousse, it's a little more expensive, but there's more chocolate! "Dramacon"? Nope, never heard of it, sorry.

MagicFlames: Sort of depends on what Sasuke's thinking.

goyankeesbooredsox: -grins-

tiffanylicis: Updating!

naruto-fan001: I hate cliffhangers too but it makes everyone wait for the next part of the story.

WhItE DoRiAn: Orochimaru's theme is kind of scary, but I like scary stuff… usually.

Senryu52809: I know that you like Orochimaru's theme. You made me listen to it in the middle of class one day, remember?

* * *

"Wait!" Sasuke froze in midair and crossed his arms across his chest. "What is it now?" He asked impatiently. "Um! Before we do this, shouldn't we remember about what good times we had? Like our birthdays!?" He looked at her in annoyance, "You made me eat shaved ice for my birthday when you knew very well that I hated sweet things." "What about my birthday!?"

"_Tanjoubi Omedetou, Sakura-chan!" Naruto proclaimed, standing at Sakura's front door. "Thanks and come in, my mom's preparing the food." Sakura invited him in. Naruto walked in with Kakashi following him. "Happy Birthday Sakura." He stated, still reading his Ichi Ichi Tactics. Kakashi was followed by one of the most unexpected guest. "Sasuke-kun!?" Sakura almost squealed in delight. Sasuke looked at her with a bored expression. "Tanjoubi Omedetou." He muttered._

"_So! Here is your present dattebayo!" Naruto held out a brightly wrapped package. Sakura unwrapped it, knowing what would inside already. "Gee, a 24 pack of ramen, thanks Naruto-kun." She said, trying to force some surprise into her voice. _

_Kakashi threw her a medium sized wrapped package. "A windmill shuriken! Thanks Kakashi-sensei!" She thanked the copy ninja who just had his eyes shut in happiness. _

_She didn't expect anything from Sasuke and wav therefore very surprised when he too threw her a package. "Oooo!" Naruto wooted, "Sasuke-teme has hots for Sakura-chan dattebayo!" Kakashi smirked at his student. Sasuke turned his head away, as if he was blushing and angrily muttered, "Shut up you dope." She opened the package expectedly, and almost face faulted when she saw the present. _

"_Sasuke-kun?"_

"_Hn?"_

"_Why is there a yogurt and two bananas in here?"_

"_That's your present."_

"_So let me get this straight. Naruto got me a 24 pack of ramen."_

"_Hn."_

"_Kakashi-sensei got me a windmill shuriken."_

"_Hn."_

"_And you got me a yogurt for my birthday."_

"_And two bananas."_

"_Ah, yes can't forget about those. So you got me a yogurt and two bananas."_

"_That's right."_

"_A yogurt and two bananas."_

"_Yeah."_

"_Yogurt and two bananas."_

"_Stop repeating yourself, it's annoying."_

_A moment of silence._

"_ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EVER AVENGING MIND!?"_

"…"

_She sighed, "But, thank you Sasuke-kun. I know how much you hate sweet things, so it must have been very hard going into a store and buying sweet things, such as yogurt or bananas." She clapped her hands together. "Anyway! It's time for a party!"_

_Two Hours Later_

"_Admit it, Sasuke-kun. You lost." Sakura and Sasuke were glaring at each other with the fire of competition, both breathing heavily. "Lets go again. I won't lose this time!" Sasuke proclaimed. _

_An Hour Later_

"_You lost Sasuke-kun, again." Sakura stated; a smirk on her face. "I-I-I-I-I!" Sasuke stuttered; dumbfounded before he started sulking and his head drooped. "You-you sunk my battleship… again…" He whispered quietly, his voice shaking. Naruto stood up, pointed at Sasuke and laughed, "Haha! Teme lost to Sakura-chan dattebayo!"_

_Sasuke stood up, still sulking. "I-I'm going to the bathroom." He muttered, his dark hair still covering his eyes, accidentally crashing into the wall. He shook his head, looked briefly at the hallway and continued on his way._

_Other Hour Later; Sakura's party is really long…_

"_What's taking Sasuke-teme so long dattebayo!?" Naruto complained; hungry for ramen. Kakashi sighed, "I'm not checking up on him." Sakura shook her head, "You bunch of babies, I'll check up on him." She muttered, getting up and lumbering over to the hallway. Where she crashed into the wall in the exact same spot Sasuke did, shook her head and continued walking, remarking about turkeys and green gloves._

_She knocked on the bathroom door, "Sasuke-kun? Are you there?" She got a couple of unsavory moans, groans, and sounds of straining. She threw open the door to see…_

_Sasuke sitting on the toilet, his black shorts pulled down and his face red. "Sa-Sasuke-kun!?" She shrieked, unsure whether to scream in fear and squeal over the fact she saw Sasuke pan- I mean short less. A horrified look crossed Sasuke's face and he pulled his shorts up to his thighs. _

"_CAN'T A PERSON HAVE CONSTIPATION IN PEACE!?!?" he screamed, tears running down his red face, either in the pain of constipation or at the embarrassment of being found out by Sakura. A few moments of awkward silence loomed over the air. Sakura looking dumbfounded and Sasuke looked utterly horrified._

"_Umm… This never happened okay?" Sakura said, not moving. Sasuke rapidly nodded. "I-I'm leaving now, because it really stinks in here…" Sakura slowly inched her way to the door, running out quickly screaming bloody murder._

_After the Party_

_Sakura waved goodbye to everyone and went into her room, only to hear a loud scream of pure terror. She pulled back her shade, expecting to see Naruto screaming, only snickering when she saw Sasuke screaming, chased by about fifty five LARGE dogs._

"That was not funny." Sasuke angrily said, his eyes very narrowed now. "Now I finally understand why you always have those bandages wrapped around your legs now!" Sakura proclaimed.

"Now!" Sasuke changed the subject back to what he was doing before. "My dear Saku-chan I will-" The door slammed open and Shikamaru came in.

He pointed at both of them, took in a breath, ended up swallowing a fly, coughed, gagged and spat. "Umm, Shikamaru?" The said person looked at Sakura. "What are you doing here? This place is very far away from Konohagakure, you know." Sasuke's eyes widened, he cut Sakura's chakra strings, and packed everything up.

"Run away!" He screamed, grabbing everything in one hand and running. "Shikamaru's drunk!!" He accidentally crashed into Shikamaru, knocking down the deer herder, screaming "STUPID INTERRUPTIONS!!

When Shikamaru came too, he rubbed his head. "Where am I? This isn't the Shogi store…"

* * *

I know, short chapter, made it seem like a crack fic. I was on another tomato high… 


	16. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, un.

FlamedraSeer7213: I will be attempting drunken speak again!!

Pom-Pom: What she said…

Too lazy to write anything for reviews, so thank you anyone who reviewed!

* * *

Sasuke had managed to run all the way to the hidden stone village. "I'm hungry…" Sakura complained, rubbing her growling stomach. Not wanting to argue, Sasuke walked to the nearest restaurant, which just happened to say "Bob's Town Bar and Grill".

Two figures swaggered out of the village's bar, more drunk than they were before.

"Aww man you da best!!" Sakura patted Sasuke's back heartily. Sasuke shook his head rapidly. "Na, man, you da best!" He replied, attempting to walk. An adult noticed them and shook her head scornfully. "Drunkards…" She had mumbled, getting the same responses from the two, "Heeye! I'm nosh drunkosh!"

Both of them settled down on a curb. "Peep." Sakura peeped. "Peeppeep." Sasuke peeped back. "I can peep better than you!" Sakura challenged. Sasuke shook his head.

"You can't peep better than me. I won the nashunal peeping contust!"

"Wha nashunal peeping contust?"

"… I dososh know…"

"Yea, wha wash we talking bout?"

"I tink it wash weashals!"

"Oh like youse bruthor!"

"Oh yea! Like Itashi! I forgosh about tat…"

"You idijit! Itashi is youse bruthor!"

"Whaeva…"

"Hey… do you know what Itashi makes me tink of?" Sasuke asked, slightly sober now. Sakura shook her head. "No wha?" "Weasels."

"Weasel? Haha! That's a funny word!" THUNK. Sakura blinked and looked at her friend, who was now face down in the pavement and hey was that BLOOD!?

In The Hospital

"How's my teammate!?" The pink haired Kunoichi had pinned one of the nurses to the wall and demanded to see her teammate. "Sakura, put her down, you're scaring her." She whipped around to see an irked Sasuke with a large white bandage wrapped around his forehead.

"Sasuke! Are you all right!? Does it hurt!? I'm sorry! I'm really extremely so-!" Sasuke silenced her with his patented death glare. "Let's go." He gruffly mumbled and grabbed her arm and started dragging her out of the hospital.

"Uchiha." Sasuke kept his death grip on her arm and continued walking. "Uchiha!" No response. "Uchiha Sasuke!" He sighed and turned around. "What?" He asked impatiently. "Would you tell me what's bothering you? Why the hell did you bolt out of the hospital!?" He glared at her. "That is _none_ of your business." Sakura managed to pull her wrist out of his grip, much to the surprise of the younger Uchiha, and replied harshly, prodding his chest with every word.

"Yes it is ahou! (idiot/moron) You, Uchiha Sasuke, are my partner on this mission. It is my responsibility to make sure you are okay, both physically and mentally!" Sasuke looked stunned by her actions. "You got it!?" He let out an unintelligible mumble. "Good, now, tell me what happened to make you so mad."

"I guess they did all the standard stuff for wounds, cleaned it and wrapped it up." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Then they decided to have some fun, thinking I was out and all." "What did they do?" He straightened his lips into a thin line and continued. "They stuck a thermometer up my ass."

"Pfft!" Sakura's cheeks had puffed up in a vain attempt to keep her laughter in check. Sasuke reddened with both anger and embarrassment. "Sh-Shut up! Why do you laugh at my pain!?" He snarled. "It's FUNNY!" He sulked, "Sadistic…"

Rumble.

Both Sasuke and Sakura frowned. _"Rumble?" _

Rumbling and the sound of stamping feet.

"Oh shit…" Sasuke mumbled under his breath.

Squeals

Slowly both of them turned around to face possibly the worse force in the entire world.

FAN GIRLS FROM THE PREVIOUS VILLAGE

"SASUKE-KUN!!" Sasuke grabbed Sakura and started running towards the nearest inn. _"SHIT! CRAP! DAMMIT!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE ALL THE INNS IN THIS TOWN!?" _He cursed in his mind, while his eyes frantically swept the street looking for an inn. _"I'm going to get glomping, kissed, hugged, and possibly even raped if I don't find a- INN! Yes! Creator of tomatoes I kiss your feet! Or whatever helps you walk!"_ He kicked open the door and started ringing the bell multiple times.

"Yes, can I help you sir, or are you just here to break my bell?" The innkeeper was tapping his foot impatiently. "A room with two beds please!" Both of them demanded. The man frowned. "We only have one more room, and there's only one bed." A huge brick fell on them. "_Only one…" _Sakura thought, _"BED!?" _Sasuke also thought. He dragged Sakura over to a corner and they whispered furiously to each other.

"This is the only way!" "What if the fan girls-" "Shhh! We have to do this! Maybe then they would stop bothering us." "You know very well that they will not." "Yes!" No." "Yes!" "No." "Yes!" "Won't they find it suspicious that we're arguing one minute and then happy like a married couple the next?" "No! They are dense!" "You were a fan girl yourself once. Are you implying that you were dumb?" "Yes! Yes am I!!" "…" "Hmm? You alive?" "…very well. We'll accept this room."

They ran back to the innkeeper and slammed their hands on the bell. "Yes?" He asked impatiently, eying the now broken bell. "We'll take it!" Both of them said firmly. The innkeeper turned over the key to them and started weeping over his smashed bell.

In The Inn Room

Tap. Sasuke tensed up. Tap. He narrowed his eyes into narrow slits. Tap. He clenched his teeth. Tap. Sasuke started shaking with rage. Taptap. Sasuke turned around to face Sakura. "Would you stop that extremely annoying tapping!?" The tapping stopped and Sasuke turned around. There was silence before.

TAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAPTAP. "AUUUUGGGGHH!!! IF YOU DON'T STOP THAT TAPPING I AM GOING TO RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND STICK IT ON A POLE!!"

Nighttime

"Come on! We agreed on this!" Sasuke whined. "No, you'll rape me in my sleep." Sakura replied firmly. "Sakura-chan…" He whimpered for probably the first time in his life.

She crossed her arms and glared at him. "N-O means no Uchiha." Sasuke sighed and got up. _"I guess I'm going to have to use this…" _He pulled open the shades. "How do you expect to get rid of these people?" He pointed at the window area where now the fan girls were now. Sakura sweat dropped.

"Well we could…"-


	17. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, literally or figuratively.

FlamedraSeer7213: Fu fu fu… do you think I update too late?

Pom-Pom: Ask the reviewers.

FlamedraSeer7213: Hn, mean.

Pom-Pom: We have a question for you dear reviewers today!

FlamedraSeer7213: What do you think should be a side pairing?

Pom-Pom: Because of my persuading, there will be some dirty parts in this story…

FlamedraSeer7213: -sweat drops- Please vote Minna-san and enjoy the story! I made this chapter a page longer as an apology for making you wait so long! The next few chapters will have at least 3,000 words! There's a lot in this chapter. We've got Inner Sasuke coming out again, fan girl confirmation, acting, and a fiancée.

Pom-Pom: FlamedraSeer7213-san thinks that the story should start getting a little more serious rather than the common slap stick humor. Therefore the story will get a little more serious, but there still be more funny parts and serious. This is one of them more… hehe… ones that meet my demands… No hentai… but lots o' lime.

------------------------------------

"Blah la" is talking

"_Blah la"_ is thinking/talking mentally to Inner Selves

**Blah la **is inner self talking

AN is… Author's Note

AMN is Author's Muse's Note

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Ninaleoliona: Yay! I thought I got all my funny stuff sucked out by writer's block!

MagicFlames: Yeah, my story alert, any alert didn't come to my e-mail either.

SakuraUchiha4: Sasuke is really out of character in this story yup.

velvettears81969: I'll try writing longer chapters. …It'll be hard, but I'll try!

Fieran: Glad to see that you're reviewing!

Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: Got it, updating now!

dong-chan-mei: Hmm, Sakura may not be that innocent after all.

la la laaa :3: -grins-

tiffanylicis: You'll see what happens in this chapter.

petite.ina: The feared cliffhanger!

Chrissymissy: Thanks!

Artemis 85: I will update!

Chiaki: Let's just say that I was on the verge of being eaten alive by writer's block. Yes, power to the drunks! –sneezes-

goyankeesbooredsox: Yup, they always have to make some kind of a comeback.

Kage Mistress of Shadows: As much as I wish to torture Sasuke, please keep in mind that this is a SasuSaku story. I'll try and make Sakura annoying him to the brink of insanity, but that's the best I can do.

Aly: Yes, I'm sadistic, so sue me :P. Thanks!

WhITe DoRiAn: I forgot to add that Sasuke really isn't on the poison, cos… well it's nearly done.

Michiyo: Continuing

c-Chiaki-c: Here's the next chapter!

mexicanchica: Updating.

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"Well we could…"

Sasuke leaned forward to listen to Sakura's 'devious' plan. "We could tie you to a tree outside and let the fan girls maul you until they are happy." He narrowed his eyes and glared at her. Sakura gave a nervous chuckle. "I was joking you know." "You better have." He replied.

"I have an idea." Sasuke pronounced. Sakura raised her eyebrow. "Oh really? What would that plan be oh mighty Uchiha prodigy?" He crossed his arms. "Are you going to listen or not?" Sakura chose not to reply. "Okay, fine. I'll tell you anyway." He continued. "We could make two clones, push them outside and force them to start kissing in front of the girls." Sakura smirked. "That would be a good idea, except…" "Except?" "Our clones disappear the minute they touch." Sasuke frowned and turned away from her.

"Aww… what will our little Uchiha think of now that his plan was rejected?" Sakura taunted in his ear, failing to notice the devious little smirk starting to spread on his lips. Quickly, he grabbed her wrist. "Wha!? What are you doing?" "Something I should have done before." He pulled her to window, where all the fan girls had a perfect view and opened it.

"Konbanwa Minna-san!" He greeted everyone cheerfully. _"What the hell is he doing!? Is the poison getting to his head!?"_ Sakura stared incredulously at the Uchiha who had a death grip on her wrist. "Do any of you know what a fiancée is?" One of the fan girls raised her hand. "Yes?" Sasuke picked on her. "It means the person who you are married to?" Sasuke shook his head. "Wrong! That's my _wife_." Another girl raised her hand. Sasuke picked her. "It means that you're going to dump her." Sasuke frowned. "Wrong!" The girl frowned. "But Sasuke-kun, you would only announce this with us if you only would split up with her. If you're not, then you're retarded!" Sasuke stroked his chin with his remaining hand. "Hmm… Interesting. What's your name?" The girl grinned. "Kagurazaka Hikaru." Sasuke dropped his hand. "Okay. Kagurazaka Hikaru, shut up!" Everyone around her giggled.

Sasuke cleared his throat. "A fiancée is someone who is engaged with me and is going to marry me soon." He pulled Sakura over to the window and pointed at her. "This is Haruno Sakura. Everyone say Hi to Sakura." Everyone waved and boomed a "Konichiwa Sakura-san!" He turned to Sakura. "Sakura this is everybody. Say Hi to everybody." Sakura sweat dropped. "Konichiwa Minna-san." She politely muttered. Sasuke grinned. "Now that we have all been properly introduced, onward with the subject. Now, I think all of you already know, I have a fiancée." The fan girls squealed and nodded. Sakura looked at him completely flabbergasted. _"He had a fiancé? Why didn't I know this!?"_

He cleared his throat again and continued. "I have attempted to keep that a secret and have failed… rather badly…" He frowned at the huge mass of fan girls below. "But, I have been able to succeed keeping her identity a secret. And yes, it is a HER." A few groans were heard from below and about ten people left the fan crowd. Sakura twitched. Sasuke rubbed his temples in frustration. "The only reason I'm telling you all this is because I'm going to tell you who my fiancée is today."

He first reached into his pocket, pulled out some black sunglasses and put them on. He then pushed Sakura in front of him. "Everyone, you've met Sakura-chan hn?" Everyone nodded. Sasuke smirked and pulled back Sakura next to him. "Sakura… Hold out your right hand please." _"What the hell is he talking about? There's nothing on my right hand."_ Confused, she held out her right hand. All of the girls below gave a collective gasp. Sakura looked down at her hand, there was nothing on it.

But the girls were gawking at it like it was the holy jewel or something. She finally realized what had happened when one of the girls said, "Look at that… gem…" She quickly snapped her eyes to Sasuke, noticing that he had put on the sunglasses to hide his… Sharingan! She narrowed her eyes. _"Hm, so that's his game huh? Then I'll just play along." _

She blushed for no apparent reason. "Oh Sasuke-kun…" He turned his sunglassed glaze to her, a small blush instantly appearing on his cheeks. Inner Sasuke was having a field day.

**She is so cuuuuteee!!!**

…

**You're just speechless because of her cuteness!**

_Wha-!? I AM NOT!!_

**You're blushing; therefore you think she's cute.**

……_okay so she is a little cute…_

**She's so cute you just want to fling her onto your bed and do the things that they do in Ichi Ichi Paradise!**

_NO! NO I DO NOT!! ...You pervert..._

**You know you wanna.**

_I do not._

**Uh-huh.**

_Uh-uh!_

**Yes, you do.**

_No I don't!_

**Aww look at that you're getting flustered!**

_I am not flustered!_

**You are so flustered you don't even know that you're flustered.**

…_I hate you…_

**I love you too sweetie!**

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura's voice snapped Sasuke out of his argument with his inner self. He looked at her cute self. "Oh screw this!" He pulled off his sunglasses and grabbed Sakura by the waist. "Sasuke-kun? What are you-?" "Listen up!" Sakura started but Sasuke interrupted. He pointed at Sakura and tightened his grip on her waist. "She's my fiancée, so back off!"

The silence was absolutely deafening. Sasuke didn't know how silence could be deafening, but that seemed to be the only word that could describe the silence. So he endured the 'deafening' silence, waiting for some kind of response from either Sakura or his fan girls. He got none. He frowned. _"Whoever said that silence is golden must have been on crack."_

It took Sakura a full five minutes to comprehend what had just happened. _"The act Sakura! THE ACT!! He was just helping you out! Now you help him OUT!!"_ She squealed. Sasuke immediately snapped out his waiting… status and looked at Sakura somewhat frantically. "Sakura-chan? What's wrong? Did you step on a splinter? Did you hurt your leg? Do you have a headache? Does your stomach hurt? Do you want me to rub some caramel on your thighs?" Sakura looked at him like he was crazy. "Why would you need to rub some caramel on my thighs!?" Sasuke frowned. "I said that? Wow, I didn't know that."

Sakura then smiled. "Aww… you care for me so much that you say things without knowing it! That's so cute!" Sasuke blinked. "What are you talking about?" She held back the urge to punch him so hard he would see stars. "Oh Sasuke-kun, you're so cute!" She hugged him and hissed into his ear as soon her face was out of sight from the fan girls. "I'm helping you with your little act you bastard! Act along!" He inwardly winced. _"How the fuck could I forget about such an important thing!? Well… then to put my acting skills to the test."_

We could say that the Uchiha's acting skills absolutely sucked. "I love you very much my dear Sakura-chan." He said in monotone, no passion whatsoever. As a matter of fact he sounded like he wanted to leave. Sakura inwardly frowned. She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the view of the window. A few of the fan girls groaned. Sasuke looked at her confused. "Why you'd do that? It's rude to the-" Sakura cut him off by firmly planting her lips on his. His eyes widened in surprise. She slid her tongue over his bottom lip. He allowed her entrance, but he before he could do anything, the kiss ended. "If you want the rest of that kiss, let's do this correctly, okay?" Sasuke smirked, now he was interested.

Both of walked back to the window. A couple of the fan girls looked suspicious of them. "Why did you guys run away?" One of them demanded. Sasuke glared at her and crossed his arms. "I'll have you know that we didn't run away. I was just enjoying the taste of my little cherry blossom here." Sakura flushed at that comment. _"Minor-Boy sure knows his dirty talk…"_ The fan girls were apparently thinking the same thing as they all flushed as well. He smirked at the silence. _"I take back my comment on who ever said that silence was golden. He's an absolute genius." _Sakura decided that was when she should come in. She leaned against him ever so slightly. All the fan girls squealed in protest. Sasuke then slowly put an arm around her shoulders and gave a small squeeze. A couple of the fans stopped protesting and some awed while others started yelling in protest. Sasuke shot them a scathing death glare. Everyone shut up.

Well almost everyone. One girl was brave even to stand out of the crowd. "Sasuke-kun! You can't marry that fucking whore! She's probably not even your fiancée!" Sasuke froze and pulled off his arm from her shoulders. He then spun towards the girl. "You." He hissed, putting in as much malice as he could. "What the fuck is your name!?" The girl winced and stood there now shaking visibly. "I asked you a question and I expect you to answer!" He spat out after a few moments of silence. Even Sakura seemed to be shaken a bit. _"I guess he can act extremely well if he's put up to it… But still… why is my heart beating so fast?" _She shook her head. _"No… It's probably because I was shocked…"_ Sasuke was still glaring like a basilisk at the poor girl. "Answer me!" He demanded. "Kusaki Saonji…" He gave a smug little smirk. "It seems that we're getting somewhere now. I want to show you something so pay attention, because I won't show you again." She seemed to brighten up in an instant and was now looking intently at Sasuke.

"Sakura, come over here." Confused but trusting the Uchiha, Sakura walked over to him slowly. Being an impatient person, he once again grabbed her wrist and pulled her to his chest, finally wrapping his arms protectively, almost possessively around her, lacing his hands together at her back. Saonji's face turned red in anger. Sasuke smirked once again, "If she's not my fiancée, then why would I do this?" _"Because we're acting…" _Sakura answered the question in her head. The girl seemed to read her mind. "BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY ACTING!! YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO NERVE TO KISS HER!!" Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

_This girl is really getting on my nerves._

**Shut up, almost everything gets on your nerves.**

_Hn._

**Can't even say a word to defend yourself now huh Uchiha?**

_You shut up, I'm trying to think and thanks to you, you're breaking my concentration._

**You never even had concentration to begin with, being so busy staring at Sakura-chan's cleavage. **

_Wha-!? How dare you accuse me of such impure actions!_

**Stop trying to sound so innocent, I'm you and you are me remember? I have the same thoughts as you.**

_Hn, yours are more perverted._

**That may be true, but nonetheless we still think the same things.**

…

**Speechless at a time like this hm?**

_Sh-Shut up._

**Anyway, this girl is annoying you huh?**

_Did you figure that all out by yourself?_

**Hn, if you want to make her leave, prove her wrong.**

_Uh?_

**Prove her wrong by kissing Sakura-chan in front of her and everyone else.**

A dark red blush covered Sasuke's cheeks as soon as Inner Sasuke said that. _Uh…_

**Come now! Look everyone's looking at you weird!**

Sasuke turned his attention to everyone. Saonji seemed to be smirking triumphantly. Sakura was acting her part and looked worriedly at him, although he could detect a what-the-hell-are-you-doing-minor-boy-get-back-to-reality look in her eyes being heavily disguised. "So what is it Sasuke-kun? Are you going to kiss your 'fiancée'? Or will you date me?" A disgusted scowl had way to Sasuke's face instantly. "Why would I want to date the likes of you when I have Sakura here?" He blurted out harshly. _"Well that was rather… blunt…"_ Sakura winced at Saonji's crestfallen expression. Sasuke smirked. (AN: he seems to be doing a lot of smirking here huh?) "Hn, you're not even worth my time." He dished out even more emotional abuse at her.

Sasuke then grabbed both of Sakura's shoulders. Saonji paled. "No… Sasuke-kun… don't tell me that you're going to do it…" She pleaded. Sasuke looked down at the female in his hands. He started to lean down slowly. Sakura, knowing what he was going to do, closed her eyes. He angled his head a little bit and pressed his lips to hers. The fan girls just practically died right there.

After about five (AMN: heated) kisses from the Uchiha to the Haruno, every last fan girl had left the premises, Sasuke was looking rather smug, and Sakura was literally radiating pink off her body. "Well… well…" Sakura was trying to say something but wasn't doing too well trying to say it out. Sasuke frowned, "What is it? Spit it out." Sakura opened her mouth to speak when there was a loud bang at the door to their room. Sasuke clenched his teeth and he walked pass Sakura to the door. She heard him hiss out softly, "Dammit, don't they ever give up?" Sasuke reached out to open the door knob, Sakura's eyes widened and she dove for him.

"Oof!" Both of them went down to the floor. "Hey why did you –mmmmffgghh!!" Sasuke started, but Sakura placed a firm hand over his mouth. "Shh…" She whispered into his ear, her hand still on his mouth. "They're listening for any motion detection. If they sense any, they'll break down the door and in order for them to leave, they have to see us in a…" She turned a deep shade of red. "Sug-Suggestive position." Sasuke blinked at the amount of information being thrusted at him, processing it in mere seconds. The door was being hit again, this time so hard that it nearly fell off its hinges the first time.

"Crap!" Sakura cursed. "Do you have any plans Uchiha?" "Mmmffgh hgggnmmh dejaaamm!" Sasuke couldn't say anything do Sakura's hand being firmly placed on his mouth. Sakura blinked. "What was that you said?" "Mmmffgh hgggnmmh dejaaamm!" He repeated. She looked at him. "Oh I'm sorry!" She quickly removed her hand from his mouth. Sasuke took in a couple of deep breaths, shooting venomous death glares at Sakura. "So Sasuke." He noted that she said his first name, not his last. "What's your plan, I couldn't hear it over… my hand…" Sasuke inwardly snorted. "I said, lets just go along with your plan and be in a suggestive position. From my experience, those fan girls aren't very smart, unlike some former ones from Konoha." Sakura's cheeks flushed a little bit. "So if we look like we're doing something… naughty, they'll probably leave."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "What if they don't leave? Then what?" A minute smile pulled at the corners of Sasuke's mouth, resulting in something between a half smile and a smirk. "Oh I've gotten that taken care of, so don't worry." She gave him a confused look. Another bang hit the door at was on the verge of giving in, probably only being able to hold two more hits. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. _"I have to treat this as a mission. I will not accept failure."_ (AN: Typical Sasuke) The minute second the door wasn't being attacked, he grabbed Sakura by the waist and flung her onto the bed, flying after her.

Keeping his eyes on the extremely breakable door, he shifted his weight onto his left side, which was on the mattress and not Sakura. In the few seconds he had left, he hastily explained his plan to Sakura, who was still a little dazed from being thrown on the bed. "Sakura. Pay attention, I won't be able to say this again. As long as they stay outside, I'll keep as much distance as I can for the time being, but the minute they come in, that's all out the window. I won't hear any cries or protests, you know that already. If we fail this…" His lips straighten out into a thin line. "You might be returning to Konohagakure alone." Sakura gulped visibly.

Finally the door gave and went flying into the room, hitting the windows and shattering them. The girls started to pile into the room, some gasping at the sight of Sasuke on Sakura. _"Time for the plan to commence."_ Sasuke thought as he slowly leaned down to press his lips to Sakura's, forcing himself to close his eyes, closing their distance. Sakura didn't squeak, scream, or bite his tongue that had somehow gotten into her mouth, but closed her eyes as well.

Half of the fan girls had left the room alone on this act alone. A few had gone in close to see if they were actually kissing. Sasuke felt eyes on him and Sakura. _"I guess I'm going to have to go to plan b. Dammit, Sakura is going to beat me to hell afterwards…"_ Ungluing his lips from Sakura's, he started to place slow kisses on her neck, starting downward. Sakura turned completely red. The fan girls ran out of room, crying. Sasuke sat up after they left, looking content.

"Well… Well…" Sakura was trying to say something again, but was having trouble again. Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "What is it now? Come on say it." She turned away from him, her face red. "That was… that was… great acting." She finished, turning around and facing him again. He didn't say anything, but he stood up and went into the bathroom, popping his head out. "Sakura." She looked at him. "Maybe one reason why my acting was so good was because I wasn't acting." Sakura's eyes widened. Sasuke shrugged. "But then again, I could be wrong." He smirked and pulled his head back into the bathroom, leaving Sakura to her thoughts.


	18. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Standard

FlamedraSeer7213: Uh, yeah. Enjoy the slapstick humor Minna-san. Pom-Pom's sick. Sasuke's off the poison now. OMFG! 190+ reviews!! I-I love you guys…

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_Kage Mistress of Shadows: I'm kind of aware of that fact Shadeon._

_tiffanylicis: Yay for the great acting._

_CandyCoatedMistress: Your username reminds of me raisenettes for some strange reason. Happy to see that you love the story!_

_Anime Angel Goddess: Umm… Umm! –hands you some tissues- Updating!_

_saim: Yes, they got rid of the fan girls! WOOHOOHOO!!!_

_dong-chun-mei: Never do know how to quit, probably will never know how to quit them crazy fan girls._

_Forever Dreamin: Yay!_

_sakura1258: Sasuke has to think of everything. I guess it's his hobby or something. Or he's got some compulsive disorder that he has to think of everything. XD_

_hopping-bunny: Yeah, their mission is going to come in some where along the line. They have to reach their destination first… that might take a while at the number of hindrances their facing. –sweat drops-_

_loressa/Akegata Miyuki: Five thumbs up… how to you do that? Five thumbs up… Oh! I KNOW! –runs away and comes back with two more people- Stick up your thumbs! No wait! That's six thumbs!! NOOOO! Thank you for the great (and funny) review!_

_Ninaleoliona: Yay! Best chapter ever!_

_Senryu52809: I don't love Sasuke and that chapter was particularly fluffy! Okay then, NejiTen it is!_

_SakuraUchiha4: Well you see with the whole Sasuke wearing sunglasses thing, I just watched the Matrix and I thought, I wonder what Sasuke would look like sunglasses. One thing led to another and TADA, Sasuke's wearing sunglasses._

_Chrissymissy: I have someone at my school that could be considered a "Sasuke-crazy-weirdo"; she's very scary when it comes to her "dear Sasuke-kun"._

_c-Chiaki-c: School work has slowed down the updating progress significantly, but I'll do my best to update when I can!_

_AzNAnGeL07: -very happy and pleased now-_

_NazaliaSan: I'll see what I can do about the ShikaIno story. I'm not a big fan of it, but I'm not a big fan of NaruTema but I still did it for my friend._

_goyankeesbooredsox: Eh, Sasuke-teme is still Sasuke-teme, no matter how OOC he gets in my story, somewhere along the line I have to add some sort of Sasuke-teme ness (Like how he was in the anime, BEING A FREAKING BASTARD!!)_

_Ur2tRoUbLeSoMe90: I'll update as fast as I can!_

_Uchiha Aimee: Gee thanks for the complement._

_moodiful819: Yesh an update!_

_blackXpinksakura: Thanks!_

_Nightfire2211: -blinks- A lemon…? I can't really write lemons without Pom-Pom around and she's sick! –tears- I'll make more for the sake of my dog's illness!_

_Artemis 85: Because I love you so much, I'm updating XD._

Holy crap, this section's nearly a page long in Word…

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"No." Sakura nearly face faulted. "Come on, it's probably the only way we're going to get out of the village!" "I said no and I mean no. I probably don't even need to do this!" Sakura frowned. "Oh come on, you can't really look that bad! You probably even look nice!" A pink sleeve popped out of the bathroom. "Me wearing a pink kimono is _not_ nice." Sakura raised her eyebrow. "Oh come on, it's probably not that bad!" "Oh it is very bad Sakura. Do you have any idea why I don't wear PINK and red!?" Sakura blinked. "Umm… because you don't have pink and red clothes?" There was a thoughtful pause. "Well… that too, but no." Sakura crossed her arms. "You're making such a big deal out of this. Stop throwing a temper tantrum and get out here." Sasuke gave a snort. "Fine you asked for it."

He stepped out of the bathroom wearing a pink and red kimono with a pink obi. Sakura had somehow gotten his chicken butt hair flat and shiny. He blinked, the eyeliner getting into his eye and pursed his pink lipsticked lips. There was a pause. Then Sakura burst into hysterical laughter, pointing at him over and over again, tears running over her flushed cheeks. Sasuke crossed his arms and angrily glared at her. "Oh- Oh my god! You!! HAHAHAHA! YOU ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE A GIRL!! OH MY GOD!! I CAN'T BREATHE!" _"I hope you never breathe again…"_ The Uchiha angrily thought, all of his pride completely sucked out by this point.

She stopped laughing suddenly and jumped up. Sasuke eyed her nervously. "Sasuke, I went out today and bought something that'll go very well with your outfit!" _"Oh snap."_ Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "Oh really? What is it? A _pink_ purse!?" He spat out, his face scrunched up in disgust. Sakura gave an evil little chuckle and the color from the Uchiha's face drained. "Hahahaha! Hahahaha –coughs- hahaha! No, as much as I wish it was a pink purse, it's not." Sasuke released the breath he was holding. "But it is pink." He choked on his own saliva at that point.

"PINK!?!?" She nodded. "Yeah! Yeahyeahyeahyeah!" He sweat dropped. _"Do I look like I need more pink!? Just look at me!! I'm wearing **PINK** blush, **PINK** lipstick, a **PINK** kimono,** PINK** shoes, and a **PINK** obi! For god's sake, if you just dyed my hair pink, I'd look like a little pink blob walking around!" _"Is it something for my dress?" He guessed. She shook her head. "My shoes?" No again. "A necklace?" Nope. "A pink hair ornament?" Nuh-uh. "A bracelet?" Nopo. He suddenly thought back to his thoughts before. _"Oh hell no. I'd better not be that…"_ He gulped visibly. "Temporary pink hair dye?" Sakura's eyes widened. "Oh my god… How did you guess?"

A loud pitiful scream echoed through the town.

"NO! NONONONONONONONONONO!! YOU ARE NOT DYING MY LOVELY BLACK HAIR WITH BLUE HIGHLIGHTS PINK!! EVEN IF IT'S TEMPORARY, _I DO NOT ACCEPT!!"_ He screamed quickly, dashing back into the bathroom and locking the door. Sakura knocked furiously at the door. "Come on Sasuke, open up! If they see you with pink hair, they'll really know it's not you!" He thought about this for a little while. He then almost mentally slapped himself. _"Are you actually thinking about this absolutely insane/crazy idea Uchiha Sasuke!? HAVE YOU GONE INSANE!?"_ He questioned himself. "It's only temporary!" Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head over and over again. "No! Even if it is temporary, I must defend what little pride I have left!"

"Please Sasuke?"

"No!"

"Come on!"

"No way!"

"Come on, we'll look like sisters!"

"I don't want to look like your sister; I want to look like Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Yeah? Well you're a girl, so your name isn't Uchiha Sasuke anymore! It's Uchiha Sasuka!"

"SASUKA!? I refuse to be called Uchiha Sasuka!"

"You're a girl. Uchiha Sasuka it is!"

"I AM NOT UCHIHA SASUKA!! I AM UCHIHA SASUKE, THE LAST OF THE UCHIHAS!"

"Sasuke's a boy's name."

"Uhh… um… SASUKE'S NOT A BOY'S NAME!!"

"Yes it is, admit it Minor-Boy."

"Umm… uhh… DAMMIT!!"

Sasuke slammed his fist into the door of the bathroom, directly on an extremely sharp wooden splinter. "YEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!" He fell back onto the tiled floor of the bathroom, clutching his left hand, with tears streaming down his face. Sakura heard the Uchiha's loud yelp of pain and proceeded to break the down the door with her foot. The door went flying into the room. Sasuke, wondering what all the noise was, looked up from his hand to see a heavy wooden door sailing towards his face.

Under normal circumstances, Sasuke would have probably did some hand seals and perform the Great Fireball Technique or perhaps the phoenix fire if there wasn't enough time. However, this was not one of those normal circumstances. For he wasn't in his right state of mind. Instead of his normal blue collared shirt and white shorts, he was wearing a pink and red kimono, so there was a small probability that if he preformed any fire jutsu, his 'delicate' feathery sleeves would catch on fire and he would burn to death by his own fire. He twitched, that would be a rather embarrassing death. The sight of Itachi laughing his ass off at his funeral was not a good way to be remembered. Even if he wasn't wearing this, he didn't know if the makeup that Sakura put on was flammable. Suppose some of the fire hit his face and the makeup was flammable. He winced at this thought. _"I can just see the headlines now… 'Uchiha Survivor Killed by Makeup…"_ He then noticed how close the wooden door was to him and speedily made a plan in his head.

Sasuke quickly scrambled to his feet and dove into the water filed bathtub, avoiding the impact by a mere two seconds. Sakura walked into the room. "Sasuke? Are you here?" The sound of bubbles brought her attention to the bathtub on her right. Sasuke sat in the bathtub, completely soaked, with little swirlies for eyes. His hair was now wet and starting to go back into his old peacocky perfection. His mouth was underwater and he was blowing bubbles. "Sa-Sakuwaaa…" Sakura sweat dropped and started pulling him out of the bathtub and sat him next to the bed.

"You know what Sakuwa?" She looked at Sasuke, who really wasn't in the right state of mind, so much stuff happening. "Your hair is very pretty, very smooth." She blinked. Did Sasuke just complement her? She shook her head, remembering that the Uchiha wasn't in the right state of mind. "Your hair is probably even better than Itachi-nii-san's." Sakura blinked in surprise. _"Did Sasuke just say Itachi… Nii-san!?" _Sasuke gave a short laugh. Sakura twitched. _"He's… LAUGHING!?"_ He then tucked his head in between his legs, his back was shaking. Sakura thought he was crying or something like that when he threw his head back and was still laughing insanely. It was a strange sight, Uchiha Sasuke, wearing a wet pink and red kimono, makeup ruined on his face, laughing his ass off at something that no one knew about. It was times like these that Sakura truly thought her teammate slash partner was insane.

After about five minutes of his insane crazed laughter, he stopped abruptly, looking at Sakura with piercing eyes. "Uhh… Uchiha? What are you looking at?" Sparkles suddenly appeared in his eyes. "Sakura-nee-san!" Sakura did the most logical thing a person can do in this situation. She blinked. Sasuke then hopped (AN: As in hop like a bunny hops) over to Sakura's side. "Hn? Sasuke what are you-AAAYYYAAAH!" Sasuke already had a handful of Sakura's hair in his hands. "Your hair's pretty Sakura-nee-san. I remember Itachi-nii-san's hair." She blinked again. _"He's talking about his brother again…"_

This Sasuke gave a small childlike giggle. "He used to bathe it every night with almond oil. He said that it gave his hair its beautiful texture." He rolled his eyes. "I think it just made his head shiny. One day, I got mad at him because he stole my breakfast cereal. So I switched his almond oil with honey." Sakura's eyes widened. _"Sasuke was a prankster when he was little? Wow, that's news to me…"_ Sasuke started to laugh insanely again, stopping once a while to slip in details. "Hahaha! He came out of the bathroom! Hahahaha!! He had honey all over his head! Oh! Hahaha! He looked like a wet cat! Hahahahahaha!! Look I even have pictures!!"

He pulled out some pictures from god knows where and threw them on the floor. Lo and behold was the great Uchiha Itachi, with regular black eyes, looking rather peeved, with some thick substance on his head like a Jewish cap. The next picture showed him looking horrified, as if he just noticed that someone took a picture of them. The picture after that showed Itachi yelling in anger, three large windmill shuriken being held in his left hand. The next few pictures after that were kind of blurred, showing that Sasuke was probably running when he took them. The last picture showed Itachi's back, he walking back to his room with a dark cloud over his dark honey covered hair.

"Sakura?" She turned away from the pictures and to Sasuke, who was sitting there and blinking. "Sakura?" He repeated her name again. "Yeah, what is it?" She asked. "Why does my jaw hurt so much? It feels like I've been laughing too much or something…" He opened and closed his jaw, looking like he was biting thin air. "…" Sakura just stared at him with wide eyes.

He noticed that she was holding something. "Whatcha looking at?" He questioned. Sakura suddenly remembered the pictures that she was holding in her hand. _"Sasuke's going to think that I stole these from him and he'll get mad! I can't let him see them!" _She quickly hid the photos behind her before Sasuke's peering eyes could see. "It's nothing Sasuke!" She yelped out. Sasuke raised his eyebrow skeptically. "You're hiding something." She inwardly snorted. _"Doi! I'm hiding something! How stupid can you get!?"_ "…I'm not hiding something Sasuke!" She plastered a huge fake smile on. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Her eyebrow twitched ever so slightly. He narrowed his eyes even more. _"Great now he's mad at me…"_

Sasuke started to lean in closer to get a glance at what was behind her back. Sakura, thinking that he was going to try and seduce her into giving him the photos, skittered away from him. Sasuke looked at her in confusion and crawled closer to her. She skittered away like a pink spider. This time he stood up and started to walk towards her. She leapt up, broke one of the windows and jumped out quickly. He stared after her. "Sakura, what the hell are you doing!?" Sakura blinked at him from a nearby branch. "I'm trying to keep away from you." He crossed his arms. "And why would you want to do that?"

"You will kill me when you find out that I have Itachi pictures of him with honey on his head that you gave to me when you were acting weird!" She quickly blurted out. Sasuke twitched. "Where did you get those from?" Sakura looked around desperately, "You! You gave them to me!" She finally proclaimed, pointing rapidly at Sasuke with her index finger. He blinked. "Okay then." Sakura's eyes widened in surprise. "EHH!? IT'S OKAY WITH YOU!?" He nodded slowly.

"Oh-okay then… I'm coming back to the room…" Sakura leapt off the tree branch and into the nearly demolished room, Sasuke snatching back the pictures the second she got back. "What the-?" "Just because I didn't mind doesn't mean that you can have my pictures." Sasuke stated matter-of-factly, walking to his blue bag lying on the floor. Sakura just stared blankly at him. He pulled out one of his custom made blue Uchiha collared t-shirt, white shorts, a lot of bandages, his arm guards, and what looked like two very fat and thick circular cloths. "Do you really need that much clothing? I mean it's summer here and not winter in the snow country."

He stared blankly at her, "I always wear this much. These bandages are for my leg guards, and these cloths are the bands at the top and bottom. These arm guards are for my… arms… I have to wear something to cover my top and something for my bottom and that's where my t-shirt and shorts come in…" "I think that's the most you're spoken in a calm matter." "Shut up." He muttered, untying his obi and removing his kimono, leaving him in his boxers when he proceeded to dress himself. _"Uchiha's sure meticulous, not a single loose bandage anywhere."_

"Done. Now lets go out to see if anyone will rea-ack! GAH! Sa-Sakura! Let go of my collar! You're cho-choking me…!!" Sakura released Sasuke's collar and he dropped to the floor, rubbing his neck and panting for air. "What… the… hell… was that… for…!?" Sakura sighed at the glaring Uchiha on the ground, went over to her bag, pulled out a mirror and pushed it in front of his face. "Have a good look at yourself Minor-boy, or should I say Minor-_girl_." Sasuke wordlessly took the mirror from her hands and examined himself.

Five seconds later, he was gone, in the bathroom practically scrubbing his face off. Water splashed onto the floor and he groped around blindly for a towel, unable to find one after minutes of searching, he opted for wiping his face on his collar. "Well that was kind of unexpected…" "I refuse to go outside with any trace of any kind of feminine product, no matter how unnoticeable." He started heading for the door of the room, his left hand already on the knob when Sakura spoke.

"Uchiha, you're not going outside yet." Sasuke turned around, raising his eyebrow quizzically. "And why is that? I'm a person, and laws state that all persons have free will. Therefore you cannot keep me here against my will." She looked at him oddly. "What's with you and sounding so smart today?" He blinked and shrugged. "I don't know. But whatever, why are you so intent on keeping me there?" She gave a confident smirk. "The mission starts now." In an instant, his eyes to lighten up with the prospect of a mission. _"Typical Sasuke, so excited over a mission or just fighting in general."_ She thought, pulling out a scroll from her bag.

Sasuke was secretly rejoicing in his head. _"Mission, mission, mission! Mission, mission, mission…! Oh thank the sweet baby among us!! Mission, mission, mission! Mission, mission, mission…! Happy sparky glorious day! Tonight, I must perform the secret tomato prayer to assure success on this very wonderful mission!"_ "Ahem, I'm assuming that you're done celebrating over the fact that you have a mission Uchiha?" Sasuke quickly stopped all the rejoicing in his head and looked at Sakura sharply. She gave a thin lipped smile and opened the scroll, smoothing it out on the floor. "Our mission is to retrieve something Sunagakure." "Why didn't you mention that earlier!? While we were running, WE _PASSED_ SUNAGAKURE!" Sasuke literally roared. "Sasuke, can we handle this matter in a CALM MATTER!?"

"Well yelling at me is not a "calm matter" Sakura!"

"I'm just defending myself!"

"IS POPPING MY EARDRUM PART OF DEFENDING YOURSELF!?"

"NO BUT I COULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!"

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"…"

"Yes."

"…I didn't say anything."

"…Dammit…"

Sasuke took this chance to scan the scroll.

_Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Sasuke, your mission is to retrieve a scroll from the honorable Sunagakure village. There will be high security and the scroll will be kept in a room guarded by many nin. The Kazekage does not know anything about the scroll or its whereabouts. I however, can tell you that the scroll is being held at a small cottage at the end of town. I have also arraigned living quarters for you at the "Kuroi Ai Inn" in the center of town. Leave all your weapons as I have prepared you with many there. _

_I wish you good luck on this A ranked mission._

_-Tsunade_

_P.S. Sakura, don't let Sasuke see this scroll until you guys get to the Town of the Hidden Stone._

He was twitching, very badly. _"Don't let Sasuke see this scroll huh? DOES NO ONE TRUST ME ANYMORE!? IT'S BEEN TWO FREAKING YEARS SINCE I CAME BACK FROM SOUND!"_ "Kuroi Ai Inn huh? That's an interesting place that Tsunade chose." He snapped his vision back to Sakura, who was sitting on the floor reading the scroll with a faint blush. "What's so interesting about it?" He questioned.

Sakura's blush increased tenfold. "Well you see… Kuroi Ai Inn is a very famous…" Her voice trailed off. "A very famous what? Meeting place for S-Ranked criminals? Yakuza?" She shook her head. "A very famous love hotel."

"Okay then we'll go to this- wait a minute. Did you just say LOVE HOTEL!?"


	19. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine. If Naruto was mine, Sasuke wouldn't run off with that stupid pedophile and Kabuto would totally kick ass. Unfortunately, Sasuke has run off with a stupid pedophile to the Emo farm and Kabuto… does kick ass but that's not the point! The point is that I do not own Naruto! –blinks- Wow that was a long disclaimer…

Pom-Pom: ¡Hola Minna-san!

FlamedraSeer7213: Don't get Japanese and Spanish mixed up Pom-Pom.

Pom-Pom: I am not! I am creating a new language… called Japanish!

FlamedraSeer7213: -raises eyebrow- Oh? Well you're technically ripping off Japanese and Spanish in the names, and two, your language sucks.

Pom-Pom: …You don't have to be so blunt you know…

FlamedraSeer7213: It's my job. Deal with it.

Pom-Pom: Extra long chapter today because FlamedraSeer7213-san is 'feeling nice'.

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Anyone who reviewed, thank you so freaking much! I love you all!!

Pom-Pom: And a special thank you to Nightfire2211! I am feeling much better now .

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Sakura nodded slowly. Sasuke sat down with a plop on the floor. "Kuroi Ai Inn… Black Love Inn… saa?" "Ha-Hai Uchiha…" They both sat in silence for about five minutes, letting this information soak into their confused minds. Sasuke exploded. "WHAT THE FUCK IS TSUNADE DOING, RENTING A ROOM IN A FUCKING LOVE HOTEL IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING SUNAGAKURE!?" Sakura blinked. "I-I really don't know…" "DO YOU KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING!? WE'RE GOING TO SUNAGAKURE! THE KAZEKAGE, _GAARA_ IS THERE! TEMARI IS THERE! AND LAST TIME I HEARD, _HYUUGA AND TENTEN _ARE THERE ON VACATION!" Sakura looked at him in confusion.

"Neji and Tenten take vacations together?" Sasuke shrugged. "I dunno, BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT! THE POINT IS PEOPLE THAT _WE KNOW_ WILL BE THERE!" Sakura stared blankly at him. "And your point is…?" "THEY WILL THINK WE ARE DATING! OR MAYBE EVEN _MARRIED_! I'M NOT EVEN EIGHTEEN YET!" "…and we might have to share another bed…" The color drained out of both of their faces. "The same bed!?" Sakura screeched. "SONNA!" Sasuke whined (well he was in a state of panic, so it doesn't really count but still) grabbing the scroll and read it over and over again, hoping that this was some kind of sick joke.

Unfortunately, this was no sick joke. Fortunately, Sasuke found a note that Sakura had not read, and thus read it out loud.

"_Oh I forgot to add, Sasuke, Sakura, since you are on a mission and going to a love hotel, you will be acting as a newly married couple or that you guys are dating or something. No wait scratch that. Sasuke! You're going to pretend that you're in love with Sakura and you're going to proclaim your love for Sakura in front of the hotel in front of EVERYONE! And I'll have a room for you guys, but it'll seem like you had this all planned out! Sakura! You are also going to be in love with Sasuke and be very happy when he proclaims his love! OMG I'M A FREAKING GENIUS! Practice your young love my little ones! PRACTICE YOUR YOUNG LOVE!! Oh and Sasuke, don't get overly glomped or I'll set a funeral for when you get back from Sunagakure. Okay Good Luck! OXOXOXO! LOVE YA LOTS!" _

"What the-!? THIS IS AN EVEN SICKER JOKE!!" Sakura grabbed the scroll from him. "Practice our young love!? There is hardly any love in this arraignment!" She declared out loud. Sasuke remained silent, agreeing with her. She hesitated, "…right?" He remained silent still, quite obviously arguing with himself.

_No, there is no… love in this mission._

**Keh, you're just saying that.**

_I most certainly am NOT._

**Shut up, you're denying your own feelings!**

_And how would you know that?_

**I am your Inner self. I am you and you are me.**

_Hn, you wish._

**You're just so used to feeling three emotions.**

_Oh? What are those three emotions?_

**Annoyance, Hate, and Loneliness, you freaking ice block! Never felt LOVE.**

_I too have felt love!_

**Is that so? Then what is love, my liege?**

… …

**HA! Can't think of an answer now, can you!?**

_You shut up!_

**Haha! Nope!**

…_You bastard…_

**You can't call yourself a bastard, Uchiha-san.**

_-ignoring- How the hell are we going to pull this off?_

**Why don't you just… propose to Sakura in front of the hotel? You know, act all lovey on her, kissing her, hugging her, you know doing the stuff that you normally wouldn't do because you're an ice block.**

… … …

**When you guys are done and reach the hotel, tell her you had a good time with her and kiss her in front of everyone. Then pull out the box with the coveted wedding ring, kneel, and say, "Sakura, will you marry me?" **

_Where the hell did you get this from, some romance book!?_

**Nope, only the ideas in my wee little head!**

…_You're weird…_

"Sasuke. How-how are we going to pull this off…?" Sakura asked, hoping the Uchiha had some sort of a plan in his head. Sasuke thought about this for a while. "Very simple… Sakura, we will practice."

Silence…

"How are we supposed to practice _love_!?" Sakura spat out. "Sakura…" Sasuke hesitated and continued, "Do you still love me?" She turned a shade of deep red. "Umm… well I… uhh…" She twiddled with her thumbs, refusing to look at him. "Come on Sakura, it's a simple question, just answer it!" He said, getting annoyed. She narrowed her eyebrows. "It's not that easy to say you freaking idiot! You would never know because you can't feel anything but annoyance, hate, and loneliness! Do you have any idea how much pain you put me through the past five years!?" Sasuke was speechless. "Now would you please let me think? Matters of the heart are hard to sort out Sasuke…" She sighed and rubbed her temples.

Sasuke nodded and laid down the bed, trying to sort out his own thoughts too.

_What will she say? Yes or no? Whenever I mention the fact that she could say no, I get this sinking feeling in my chest. What is this feeling?_

**Hehe… it's called fear of rejection my liege.**

_What the hell do you want now? I'm trying to think here and you're not helping with the situation._

**You're trying to sort out your feelings. You don't have many so this is where I come in and help!**

…_more like come in and bother me…_

**Well it could be that too. Depends on how you look at it huh?**

_Could you just… restrain yourself from making comments, coming into my head, and disrupting my thinking process for a while please?_

**I'll see what I can do.**

_That's not very reassuring…_

… **Just… WHATEVER! Do you thinking thing!**

…

…

_DAMMIT! NOW BECAUSE YOU HAD TO DISRUPT MY THINKING CYCLE I CAN'T FUCKING CONCENTRATE!!_

…**Whoa… dude… just calm down…**

_FUCK YOU!_

…

"Wow you make a lot of funny faces Minor-Boy." Sakura commented. Sasuke flushed in anger. "CAN'T YOU CALL ME SOMETHING ELSE!?" She shook her head and smiled. "Even if I call you something else, you're still my precious little Minor-Boy, Minor-Boy!" Sasuke just blushed for no apparent reason and was not sure himself that he was blushing. Sakura gave him a cheeky smile. "Aww look you're blushing! You like the nickname!" "WHA-!? NO I'M NOT!" She poked his cheeks. "What is this patch of red spreading around your face then?" Sasuke narrowed her eyebrows. "It-It's a… a… RASH! Yeah a rash!" She took a step away from him and laughed.

He looked at her quizzically. "You're so stupid sometimes Sasuke." Sasuke glared at her indignantly. "You label yourself as an avenger, someone who doesn't have a heart, but yet you still care. So I still care." He breathed a sigh of relief. _"For a minute there, I thought she was going to say something else."_ Sakura tilted her head. "You look relieved at something, what's up?" He looked at her flatly. "The sky." She shook her head again. "No, the sky isn't up here, the ceiling is." "…YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ALREADY!"

"So you do?" Yeah, I guess I do Sasuke." There was a lapse of silence. "Do we have to work undercover on this mission?" Sakura shrugged. "I don't know." He sighed, frustrated at this lack of extremely VITAL (AN: to him) information. "You know what? Forget it. We'll just go as ourselves… except for one thing." Sakura walked over to Sasuke and held out her hand. "Give me your Hitai-ate." Sasuke looked at her with confusion, but untied his Hitai-ate and handed it to her nonetheless. Sakura untied her own Hitai-ate and placed both of them into a pouch in her bag, taking out a pink headband and a brightly weaved rectangular cloth that was about thirty inches in length.

She slipped on the headband and threw the cloth at Sasuke, who caught it. "What am I supposed to-?" "Put it on Minor-Boy." He shot her an annoyed glance, but tied on the cloth, replacing his Hitai-ate. She beamed at him. "You look nice Sasuke-kun!" He looked remotely surprised. "What the heck are you doing, calling me Sasuke-kun again?" Sakura stopped beamed and frowned at him. "We're practicing aren't we?" "Oh… right… yeah, okay."

**Hehehehe… You can confess your love to Sakura here and she will think you're practicing! This is just GREAT!!**

_No it's not! It's annoying, embarrassing, and-_

**UCHIHA. CONFESS.**

_I absolutely refuse to._

**If you say it like that, you actually like Sakura!**

… _I do not._

**Fine you big chicken, if you're not going to do it, then I AM.**

_WHAT!? You can't do that! You can't take control of MY body without MY permission first! That's a violation of privacy!_

**Oh yeah? Just WATCH ME!**

Sasuke's body suddenly stiffened and his eyes widened for a minute before he slumped down. "Sasuke-kun? Are you alright…?" 'Sasuke' raised his head a little bit and smirked at himself. **"See? I told you that I can. Now you can't do anything about it. Just sit back and watch _Inner_ Sasuke." **_"Damn you, you freaking bastard!"_ He sat up straight and looked into Sakura's eyes. "I'm fine now Sakura. Now, let's practice." She smiled. "I'm glad to see that you're okay Sasuke-kun! Okay let's see what you have in mind then."

'Sasuke' smirked and leaned forward, taking both of Sakura's hands into his. Sasuke… er Inner Sasuke was in full panic mode.

_No! DON'T DO THIS! It-It would be all fake!_

"Sakura…"

_A trick! A sham! A lie!_

"I…"

_Didn't you tell me something before?_

"Have something…"

_That Sakura…_

"To tell you…"

…_Deserves something better than a lie._

"It's that…"

_If you really meant that, then don't do this!_

"I…"

_Because this is a lie!_

'Sasuke' smirked. **"Heh… you finally got the guts to do something about it huh? Fine, fine, very well…" **Once again, Sasuke slumped over and Sakura looked at him quizzically, noting his firm grip on his hands loosening. "Sasuke-kun? What's the matter now?" Sasuke opened his eyes a little bit. "Sakura?" She nodded. "Yeah I'm here." He stood up. "Let's go… I have a feeling that we won't need any practice to wing this." She nodded and picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder and jumping out the window after Sasuke.

"HEY! DON'T RUN AWAY WITH THE HOTEL ROOM KEY! AND- WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO MY HOTEL ROOM!? WHERE'S THE BATHROOM DOOR!? WHY IS THE WINDOW BROKEN!? WHY YOU-! COME BACK HERE! I'M GOING TO SUE YOUR FREAKING ASSES OFF!!"

--About Five Hours Later--

"Okay, so…" Sasuke surveyed the surroundings. "WHERE ARE WE!?" Sakura let out a gasp. "Sasuke-kun?" He snapped his head towards her. "What?"

"Don't panic."

"Okay."

"No matter how hopeless the situation is don't panic."

"Sure."

"The key is to stay calm."

"Yeah."

"Breaking down is not going to help."

"Sakura, why don't you just tell me the damn problem already?"

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Completely certain?"

"Yes."

"Absolutely positive?"

"Dammit Sakura what's the freaking problem!?"

"…I lost the map."

Sasuke stared incredulously at her, trying to form words in his mouth. "You map lost Wha-WHAT!?" Sakura replied meekly. "I lost the map…" He gawked at her. "Was that the only map we had!?" She nodded slowly. "YOU LOST THE ONLY MAP!?" She held up her hands in defense. "Did we say something about staying calm a few minutes ago Sasuke-kun…?" He turned to her in complete anger, the red Sharingan in his eyes spinning dangerously. "DON'T 'SASUKE-KUN' ME! AND SCREW STAYING CALM! YOU LOST THE FREAKING MAP!! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE AND YOU LOST THE MAP! _THE ONLY WAY OF GETTING OUT OF HERE!_"

"Are we lost young ones?" Both of them turned around to see an elderly man, a wrinkled smile on his face. "And who might you be?" Sasuke asked, as alert as always. "I'm Tsukahara Koteshi. From the fact that you children don't have on a Hitai-ate, I'm going to assume you're not from around here?" Sakura nodded. "Ojii-san, do you know where we happen to be?" Koteshi chuckled. "If you don't know about this country, then you must be from far away. Just look at the sign." Both Sasuke and Sakura snapped their gaze to the wooden sign.

Sasuke stared completely dumbfounded at the sign. Sakura turned to Koteshi. "Arigatou Ojii-san, have a nice day." Koteshi closed his eyes and smiled, turning around and continued his walk. "Sonna!" Sasuke managed to spit out after a few minutes. "Ko-Ko-Ko-KONAHA!? WE'RE BACK WHERE WE STARTED!!" Indeed the sign read, "Konohagakure Village, two miles north from here. Welcome to the Fire Country!" with an arrow pointing west. (AN: And you notice the arrow's pointing the WRONG way.)

Sakura sat down on a rock, thinking. "Sasuke-kun, Sunagakure is west from here and would take about two days to get to on foot. If we went fast and didn't take breaks, we would be able to get there in about… five hours." When Sasuke didn't reply, she glanced at him. He was sitting down, his head down, in the angst/emo corner. "Four days… complete… WASTED!!" He practically wailed. "Umm… come one Sasuke-kun! Sunagakure is only… five hours from here!" Sasuke raised his head and glared at Sakura. This wasn't any glare, this was THE Glare. The glare that all glares could only wish to be glare. Sakura froze and quickly shut up.

"Sakura…" The said person yipped and stared wide-eyed at Sasuke. "Ye-Yes Sa-Sasuke-kun?" He stood up abruptly, scaring the complete crap out of her. "Sakura…" He repeated. "Do you have any idea what I could do in FOUR days!?" She shook her head rapidly.

Sasuke quickly grabbed her collar and slammed her against a nearby tree, their faces now level. "I could have been training. I could have been eating. I could have been sleeping. I could have been actually RELAXING!" He hissed into her face. She nodded, petrified. "But now look at where I am. Am I training? Am I eating? Am I sleeping? Am I even remotely relaxing? No! I am standing two miles south from where I left from FOUR days ago! I am on my way to some LOVE HOTEL in the middle of Sunagakure!!" He sighed and set her down on a rock, seating himself next to her.

"Sasuke-kun? You want to get moving again?" Sakura asked after five minutes, recovering. Sasuke nodded mutely and stood up. Sakura was about to stand up as well, when a hand was lowered next to her. "Sasuke-kun?" He looked away. "This doesn't count as anything; just take it as an apology or something." Her eyes sparkled. "Sasuke-kun…" His face seemed to lightly blush, his eyes widened a bit. "Whatever…" He mumbled, turning to the side. She smiled and grabbed his hand. Sasuke suddenly got a glint in his eye.

He roughly pulled her up, throwing her on his back. "What the-!? Sasuke-kun, PUT ME DOWN!" The said person just grunted and leapt into the trees. Sakura started getting angry and smacked Sasuke upside his head. "What's a grunt to me Minor-Boy!? PUT. ME. DOWN." He rubbed his head, mumbled something and still kept on moving. "What was that? I can't hear you!" Sakura moved her head to the side, narrowly avoiding a tree branch. "Sakura, I said NO." Sakura's left eye twitched madly. "Well why did you say no usokadontachi (idiot) !?" Sasuke stopped moving abruptly, one foot out ready to land on the next branch and pondered about this matter.

…All the time slowly turning downward. "HURRY UP AND RESPOND!" Sakura screamed in his ear. "Practice." He finally responded, starting to leap through the trees again. She nearly snorted at his response. "Practice huh? Practice for what?" She could just feel him give that stupid smirk of his! Stupid Uchiha Sasuke Smirk™!

"Practice for the big event at Suna." He retorted slyly, a village coming into view. (AN: No, not Sunagakure!) There was a sign above the village entrance, reading "Welcome Travelers to Hyuuga." (AN: Yes actually there is a town in Japan called Hyuuga.) Sakura was baffled at his response. The Uchiha hadn't done anything remotely perverted to her… in anyway! She pondered over this fact until they got to the village entrance.

As Sasuke let her off, he gave her butt a quick squeeze, winking and running off at her utterly horrified expression.

That might have explained why Sakura was now running after a snickering Sasuke, her face completely tomato red and screaming out all kinds of threats and obscenities after him. "YOU FREAKING DISGUSTING SLIMEBALL! I'M GOING TO FUCKING STAB OPEN YOUR FUCKING BALLS! AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU'LL **NEVER** BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN, YOU FUCKING HENTAI!!"

After Sasuke had escaped from Sakura, he realized he could have a complete ball with the current situations.

_Hehehehe… I can do anything perverted and get away with it, claiming its practice!_

**I never knew you were such a pervert…**

_I guess you could say having a perverted sensei and teammate rubs off on you._

**Hm, that would make much sense.**

_Of course it would. I'm Uchiha Sasuke, I always make sense._

**You say that but… it's not true…**

_What the hell do you mean!?_

**I have a list.**

_-twitching- A-a LIST!?_

**Yup!**

_How-how long have you been here…!?_

**Seventeen years and still counting baby!**

_WHAT THE FUCK INNER SASUKE!?_

**I've been here ever since you were a nanosecond old, my liege.**

…_Why didn't you come before then?_

**I went to get some food.**

_FOR SIXTEEN FREAKING YEARS!?_

**Yup!**

…_You're crazy…_

**Ahpup, that's where you're wrong.**

…_Ahpup…?_

**Yup, that's my name! **

_Ahpup… is your name…?_

**Uh-huh!**

_o.O_

**It's a nice and easy name to remember huh?**

…_Ah…pup…_

**Yes?**

_Your name is… Ah… pup…_

**Hai Sasuke-sama!**

_Ahpup as in "a pup"?_

**Mm-hm!**

_-thud-_

**Ah Sasuke-sama…!?**

Sasuke continued walking around town, shaking his head once every ten minutes. _"Inner Sasuke's name is… AHPUP!?"_ He gave his head a particularly hard shake. _"No way! That's just complete bullshit!"_

"**Sasuke-sama, I can assure you that my name is indeed Ahpup and that this is not 'complete bullshit'."**

"_Forget this!"_ Sasuke started heading for the hotel room, having convinced Sakura to get a one bed room for his so called 'practice'. A perverted smirk rose onto his face.

--The Hotel Room--

There was the sound of a shower, Sakura being the one taking the actual shower itself. She was scrubbing furiously at her skin, the poor defenseless skin only able to turn an angry red color. _"Stupid freaking Sasuke! Stupid mission! Stupid Tsunade-shisou!"_ She mentally screamed in her head, bringing up her soaped towel to scrub her raw skin again, when a hand caught it. Confused, Sakura did a quick hand count.

1… 2… 3!?

Sasuke leaned in, breathing in her ear and whispered. "You shouldn't do that to your skin Sakura…" The said person quickly twirled around, soon regretting her rash decision.

UCHIHA. SASUKE. WAS. COMPLETELY. NAKED.

…not to mention drooling also.

Sakura let out a loud horrified shriek, throwing back her arm and slugging Sasuke straight in the face. "YOU PERVERT!!"

Sasuke crashed straight through the ceiling, the roofing and piping, flying into the sky. A small ping was heard as he disappeared from Sakura's vision. "IT WAS PRACTICCCEEE!"

--In Konoha--

Shikamaru and Naruto stared wide eyed at the huge flurry of wood planks, roofing, plaster, and water with one figure flying at the speed of zephyr through it, screaming at the top of his lungs, in the distance.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"

"Wh-What the hell was that dattebayo!?" Naruto screamed, looking completely terrified.

Shikamaru squinted at the figure, trying to see if it was somebody he knew. "Is that… **SASUKE**!?"

Naruto also squinted. "It's **SASUKE-TEME**!?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "I don't know, but shouldn't Sasuke be on a mission somewhere in Sunagakure?"

Naruto nodded, looking a bit reassured. "Yeah the teme wouldn't be anywhere close to Konoha… right Shikamaru dattebayo?"

Shikamaru sighed and said his signature line. "Tch… Mendokuse…"

--Back In Hyuuga--

Sakura was out in the street, looking for the sole Uchiha. Heck maybe she completely hated his guts now, but he was still her partner. She was about to make a turn into an alley when someone holding two garbage can covers ran past her. "Sasuke-kun!?" The person stopped running and turned around. "Sakura!?"

Completely freaked out by the fact that Uchiha Sasuke was running around with two metal garbage can covers as protection, she did the only logical thing she could think of now.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!" Screamed Sakura.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!" Screamed Sasuke.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"

This screaming match lasted for thirty minutes.

"Aaaa… aaaa… aahh…!!" Sakura croaked out, her throat dry and sore from the screaming on the top of her lungs for the last thirty minutes.

"Aaaa… aaaa… oww…" Sasuke dropped one of the garbage cans and was now rubbing his throat area with his left hand… which happened to be the one covering his Uchiha coughJEWELScough.

Sakura stared at him with a terrified expression, staring downward. Sasuke, confused followed her view down, finally reaching where her eyes were looking.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Both of screamed in horror, sore throats forgotten.

--Back In The Hotel Room--

"Look Sasuke-kun, I'm really sorry about-!" "You punched me in the face, sent me flying through the roof WHICH I HAD TO FIX flying into the sky, over 1,000,000 miles away from the earth I came crashing down into some strip club, also breaking their roof WHICH I ALSO HAD TO FIX ran out of there screaming for my very life forcing me to use a garbage can cover for protection and saw my balls!!" Sasuke screamed out in one breath, panting from oxygen loss after he was done. "Umm… I'm sorry?"

Sasuke glared at her with furious eyes. "I'm sorry!?" He repeated. "I'M SORRY!? I had to fix TWO roofs, I ran around halfway across town with nothing but two garbage can lids as cover, YOU punched me and all I get is a measly I'm sorry!?" Sakura gave a weak chuckle.

And Sasuke made it his own decision to practice all night long. First up… feeding her.

Operation: Feeding/Eating

--Trial One--

"Sasuke-kun! I can feed myself dammit!" Sakura tried to dodge the forkfuls of miso ramen that Sasuke attempted to feed to her. "Sakura." He growled. "You. Will. Eat. The. Ramen." "No! I refuse to eat the MMMGGH!" Sasuke had taken this opportunity to stuff the forkful of ramen into her mouth. "Now Sakura… chew… and swallow." He added the last part hastily, as if she forgot it. "I fate fuu… fuu vacuum!" Sasuke smirked and crossed his arms. "I'm sorry, but I'm not a vacuum."

She glared at him with something at rivaled the famous Uchiha Death Glare©. "Why the heck are you doing this!?" "It's called practice my dear." Sakura shook her head. "Sasuke-kun, this is not the kind of affectionate behavior that someone who cares about someone else would give." "Suck it up bub." She sighed. "No Sasuke-kun, you must treat the person of your… affection specially."

Sasuke stuck this thought in his head and nodded. "Got it, lets try again."

--Trial Two--

"Fight me." Sakura blinked at him. "What?" He narrowed his eyes at her. "I said fight me." Sakura dropped her head. "Sasuke-kun… this is called eating, not fighting…" Sasuke's face was the image of confusion. "You said to treat the person specially… that's what I'm doing. I don't ask just anybody to fight with me." "Sasuke-kun, lets just pretend that the whole ninja thing doesn't exist. Treat the person with care."

Sasuke pondered on this thought for a while, nodding and saying, "Okay."

--Trial Three--

Sasuke raised the fork up to Sakura's mouth, watching the noodles enter her mouth. She smiled and took the fork from him, saying that she could feed herself now. "You sure?" He asked, playing his role. She nodded. Sasuke smiled. (AMN: Yes as in an affectionate smile… OMG THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!!) "Okay then, tell me if you need anything okay?"

"Yatta!" Sakura exclaimed, punching the air with her fist. "You got it Sasuke-kun! You really got it!" Sasuke allowed a small satisfied smirk, before getting determined. "Alright, I will get this thing down perfectly. The mission must be a big success." She nodded and announced the next operation. "Appearance."

Operation: Appearance

--Trial One--

Sakura cleared out everything in the hotel room, moving all the furniture to the left side, leading them with plenty of space. "Okay Sasuke-kun, the part of this is to look like we're a couple or something." She walked next to him. "Give me your best shot. I'll say begin."

"Begin." Sasuke grabbed her forearm and pulled her roughly down the length of the room, walking briskly and swiftly. Sakura had to practically speed walk to keep up with him.

"Sasuke-kun?" He turned eagerly towards her, noticing her panting for air. "You… SUCK!" Sasuke frowned. "But Sakura, you did not give me specific instructions on how I should execute this operation." Sakura sweat dropped. "Translate that into English please…" He huffed. "You didn't tell me what to do."

"Well, for one thing, not everyone has super speed like you Sasuke-kun. Please walk at a reasonable pace at least!" Sasuke nodded, "Lets try again then."

--Trial Two--

"Begin."

Sasuke still grabbed her forearm roughly and pulled her own the length of the room, but it was more of a normal person's pace. Sakura winced at the fact that Sasuke was literally crushing her forearm with the amount of pressure he was applying. _"At least we solved one problem…"_ She thought, wincing again when he seemed to squeeze her forearm even tighter.

"Uchiha Sasuke…" Sakura muttered angrily, rubbing her forearm. "I AM NOT A FREAKING STRESS BALL!!" Sasuke looked sheepish. "Umm… sorry?" She smacked her forehead and dragged her hand down her face in a disgruntled sort of way. "Sasuke-kun, do you know what 'affection' means!?" Immediately, Sasuke pulled out the dictionary meaning of affection from his mind. "Affection; Noun. One, fond attachment, devotion or love. Two, feeling or emotion of love. Three, a tender feeling toward another; fondness. Four-OW! Why'd you hit me Sakura!?"

Sakura pulled back her fist and snarled at Sasuke. "YOU'RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT IN THE WORLD! I DIDN'T ASK FOR A DICTIONARY MEANING OF AFFECTION! I ASKED FOR _YOUR_ DEFINITION OF AFFECTION!" Sasuke blinked. "My definition…?" "YES! YOUR DEFINITION!" The Uchiha pondered over this thought, chewing his bottom lip.

"Affection had nothing to do with the avengence (AN: That's not even a word…) of the death of my clan. Period." Sakura slugged him again and Sasuke went flying through the sky for the second time today.

--Trial Three--

"Now that you thoroughly understand what the word affection means, DO THIS RIGHT YOU IDIOT!" Sasuke nodded, putting down the ice pack that he had just applied to his injured cheek. "Ha-Hai Sakura…" She glared at him with the power of a million suns. "What did you say!?" He sweat dropped, "Umm, I mean Sakura-chan."

"Begin." Sasuke took her hand with his thumb and index finger, holding her gingerly and started walking down the length of the room. Every time Sakura accidentally touch him, he flinched away like he got a burn. Sasuke also practically looked scared to touch her, as if she would shatter like glass if he did. He walked at a slow pace and checked every once in a while to see if Sakura was still there.

"Sasuke-kun, am I germ?" Sakura asked after the practice, sighing. "No, you are Sakura-chan, a person." He replied automatically. "Then would you please treat me like a person!? You were holding my hand like I had rabies or something!" "…So I'm not supposed to do that?" Sakura pulled out a metal fan out of nowhere and backhanded Sasuke across the face, him falling on the floor. "And people said that you were a prodigy!"

Sasuke got up, rubbing his cheek. "That stings Sakura-chan…" She glared at him and sighed again. "Oh… this is going to take a while…"


	20. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I completely disclaim the awesome Naruto, because if I did own it, it would suck.

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Fun Fact: The name Sasuke is pretty famous! Sasuke's a Yu-Gi-Oh card, he's a character from the show _Kirby: Right Back At Ya!_, there's a television show called _Sasuke_, Masanori Murakawa who happens to be a famous pro wrestler is called _The Great Sasuke_, there's the great Sarutobi Sasuke, and finally there's the real historical ninja name Koyuki Sasuke! Of course, there's tons of more Sasukes in Japan and there are tons of Uchihas too! There's probably even a real Uchiha Sasuke somewhere in Japan. Damn, that's a lot of Sasukes!!

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FlamedraSeer7213: KONICHIWA MINNA-SAN!!

Pom-Pom: She's on a Chocolate/Coffee/Nips/Tomato high.

FlamedraSeer7213: WEE SUGAR! –flies out of room, cat screeches-

Pom-Pom: -sweat drops- Oh… I better go check on that… umm… enjoy the chapter!

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Pom-Pom: Because FlamedraSeer7213-sama is on a huge sugar spree through the city –you hear the distant cry of "SUUUUGGGAAAR!!"- I am supposed to pass on this message to you fellow readers.

Thank you for the reviews! I worked extra hard on this chapter to thank you!

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"Sasuke-kun." is talking

"_Sakura-chan."_ is thinking

_Naruto-kun. _is a flashback (Haha… there doesn't seem to be a difference between this and thinking huh? Aa… You'll know if it's a flashback or a thought, I made it kind of clear)

**Ahpup **is Inner Self

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--Operation: Appearance, Trial 132--

Sakura dragged Sasuke into the street, pointing at numerous couples walking together. "Sasuke-kun, none of my previous 131 descriptions even REMOTELY worked on you. Therefore, we go to the last possible plan. You see the couples?" Sasuke swept his eyes over the scene. "Yes I do Sakura-chan. But what does that have to do with the operation?"

"Copy their actions with the Sharingan." Sasuke looked at her oddly. "I don't need to copy their actions with the Sharingan." Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So what can you do _Sasuke-kun_?" He pondered over this. "Umm… I can do… A SOMERSAULT!!" She glared at him. "Completely. **_UNNEEDED_**. Information." Sasuke sighed. "Fine, just give me one more chance… if I don't get it that time… I'll copy their movements with the Sharingan." Sakura looked for any sign of lying on his face, examining it carefully. "Okay. One more try, that's it." Sasuke smirked. "Arigatou, I won't disappoint you."

Needless to say, Sasuke executed the operation perfectly.

"Begin." Grabbing her wrist, he gave it a slight pull to tell her to start walking. Following his lead, Sakura began to walk slowly. _"You failed so badly already…"_ She thought grimly in her head, not noticing Sasuke's right hand making its way to her shoulder. Sasuke smirked inwardly at her surprised reaction when he placed his hand on her right shoulder, pulling her a little bit closer and then moving his hand down to her waist, now having a tight grip on her.

"Sasuke-kun…!?" Sakura stared upward, only to be greeted with Sasuke's smiling face. "What? Do you feel uncomfortable Sakura-chan?" He asked softly, smile still on his face. "Umm… uhh… I… I… just… ehhh…" A bunch of incoherent words left her mouth and she pulled away. "Umm… Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke nodded. "Yes?" Sakura blushed. "You-You pass." He leaned down, stopping when he was about two inches away from her face and whispered. "If you say so Sakura-chan."

They stood there in the hotel room in awkward silence for about five minutes because Sasuke spoke up.

"Sakura… What's the next task?" She snapped her glaze back at Sasuke, who was still about two inches away from her face. "Hm? Could you please repeat that please?" Sasuke scowled. "I said, what's the next task?" A sinister grin spread its way across her mouth. "Hehehe… I'm glad you asked Sasuke-kun…" He paled visibly and gulped.

"…So what is it?" He asked, against his better judgment. "Operation Confession." She replied briefly. This was okay with Sasuke for about five seconds.

"Operation CON-CONFESSION!?" He sputtered out, a full-bloomed blush hanging onto his cheeks and high nose area. Sakura nodded slowly, a small blush on her cheeks also. Sasuke sat down on the floor and mumbled some inherent things about chocolates.

"Okay!" Sakura took out a paper, a brush, and some ink, handing it to the younger Uchiha. He looked quizzically at the materials, demanding an explanation from the pink haired kunoichi silently. "Write down your confession and read it." Sasuke sighed. "Why don't I just say it instead of wasting paper and ink?" Sakura shrugged. "Whatever you prefer Sasuke-kun."

--Four Minutes Later--

"Paper… or… talking...?" Sasuke pondered out loud, holding the paper in one hand and raising it as he said paper. Sakura was sitting next to him, twitching and pulsing veins spread evenly across her head. "Sa-Sa-Sasuke…!!" He ignored her and started weighting the pros and cons with using either.

"So let's see, if I used paper, I would be wasting money and time. Along with the fact that I would need to use ink and a brush. Then later, one of us would have to wash the brush… The ink would have to be tightly screwed shut so there would be no leaks… If we didn't do that, it would drip all over the place, ruin clothes, possibly rust weapons, and probably leave a trail for the enemies to follow…" Sakura was gripping the ink bottle tightly in her hands. Sasuke stuck his index finger in the air. "But! If I used paper, the confession would probably be more edited and have the right content. Then it's only a matter of acting it out…"

"If I talked, I could be wasting time. Time is important and urgent. (AN: He forgot that he's staying the night at the hotel and leaving next morning…)" Sasuke lowered his index finger. "Demo… if I said the confession, we could work on the content and my acting simultaneously, thus probably saving time instead of wasting it!" He slammed his fist down on the ground, startling Sakura. "What the-!? Sasuke-kun? What? Did you decide?"

Sasuke gave a short nod. "Well… what is it?" "It is…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Saying the confession." Sakura sighed and started clapping her hands slowly, muttering sarcastically. "Woo. Sasuke-kun, you're a freaking genius. That only took you about… six minutes. Genius Sasuke-kun, genius…" Sasuke slumped a little bit. "…What am I going to say first? It has to be at least descent…" Sakura clamped down her bottom lip to keep from screaming in frustration.

"Okay… I got it." Sakura managed a thin lipped smile. "Okay then, let's test it out."

Operation: Confession

--Trial One--

"Sakura…" Sakura turned her glaze to him. "Yes, what is it Sasuke-kun?" She asked cheerfully. "I-I-I…" Sasuke trailed off there and mumbled something Sakura couldn't hear. Sakura tilted her head. "Sasuke-kun? You say something?" "GAH! I CAN'T DO THIS!!" Sasuke slumped to the floor. "I can't do this… This mission is too hard for me… I'm not cut out to do this…" Sakura kneeled next to him and started padding his back awkwardly. "Come on Sasuke-kun, you can do this."

"It's not that easy!" He wailed. Sakura looked at him with a hard gaze. "Sasuke-kun, if I did that five years ago WITHOUT SHAME, I'm pretty sure you can too!" Sasuke thought about this. "No, it was easier for you." She glared at him. "Explain what you mean by that." "Well… when you confessed, your thoughts were clear and you knew very well how you felt. I however do not have the same scenario unfortunately…"

Sakura nodded. "I see what you mean… So, let's talk it out." Sasuke crossed his arms. "Now, you see that's a problem." She looked at him confused. "Umm… what's a problem?" "No, you see, I _don't_ want to talk it out." He replied. "What the hell? Why not?" She questioned. "For some personal reasons." Sakura crossed her arms. "Oh don't tell me that this is a matter of your pride again. Sasuke-kun, for the last time, NO ONE CAN HEAR US." He shook his head. "No, this isn't a matter of my pride, although, there is someone hearing us-" "No one is hearing us and no one wants to!" Sakura interrupted, getting frustrated.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Did you just cut me off?"

"Yes I did Sasuke-kun."

"I can't believe that you just cut me off."

"Sasuke-kun, it's not that serious."

"You cut me off!"

"…Are you feeling okay?"

"You just cu-!"

"It's not that serious Sasuke-kun."

"You just-you just did it again!"

"Sasuke-kun, calm do-"

"You cut me off again! I can't believe you!"

"You just cut me off!"

"…I did?"

"YES! You did!"

"… … … …"

"You're so clueless you idiot!"

"I'm sorry?"

Sakura leaned over and poked his forehead. "Let's call this a failed trial okay Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Okay then."

--Trial Two--

"Ano sa… what am I supposed to do?" Sasuke asked Sakura. "Just confess what you feel for me. Easy and simple." Sasuke frowned. "Okay then." Sakura blinked and sat down. _"Well… that was easy…"_ Sasuke fiddled with his cloth tied around his head, gathering his thoughts. "Umm… this is kind of hard to do…" "Sasuke! Just… go with the flow!" She hissed out, getting angry. Sasuke nodded and sat down as well.

"In the beginning, I thought you were pretty annoying, clinging onto me and squealing into my ear all the time. To me, you were just another one of those fan girls." Sakura chuckled. "I probably was." Sasuke smirked and began to loosen up a bit, starting to talk again.

"Then, we got that mission to the wave country with that bridge builder… um… Tazuna right? I was the least to say impressed when you took it upon yourself to try and protect Tazuna, even though I ended up doing it. After that, I had more respect for you and started to think of you as my teammate rather than just some annoying fan girl." She blushed slightly at his implied complement.

"When Kakashi gave us the application slips for the Chunnin exams, I noticed how unenthusiastic you were about it. I wondered why you weren't so enthusiastic about becoming a Chunnin. I don't know why, but I thought about it for some time. Then, it kind of dawned upon me. I remembered when we trained; you seemed to have a sad glint in your eye when you failed to do something. Therefore, you lacked confidence. So I decided to find out what you were good in and give you enough confidence to take the exam." Sakura looked glad. "Haha… I thought that you would say that the exams were too hard for me and that it was too early…" Sasuke shook his head. "No, I wouldn't say that… what made you think that I would?"

"_Sakura, give up on the Chuunin Exam, it's too early for you."_

"_Really?"_

"_The Chunnin Exam is filled with many skilled people." _1 

Sasuke shook her shoulders. "Oi, Sakura! Don't space out on me!" Sakura blinked. "Aa… sorry Sasuke-kun…" Sasuke released her shoulders and leaned back. "Besides, it seemed to be a shame that someone as skilled as you didn't take the exams but that Naruto did." He said, a playful smirk on his face. Sakura looked surprised. "You-You thought that I was skilled? But… you said that I was worse than Naruto!" Sasuke turned serious. "Yes, with your effect at that time, you were worse than Naruto. But, if you put some effect into your training, you probably would have been one of the best kunoichi in the village. Look at you now; you're much stronger than before right?" Sakura smiled and nodded.

Sasuke continued. "You seemed to have the best analyzation skills and knew the most about Genjutsu. However… that morning…"

"_Sakura-chan! You're late ttebayo…" Naruto said as he greeted Sakura. "Aa, sorry." She apologized, eyeing Sasuke, remembering what happened in the Genjutsu yesterday._

"_Good morning… Sasuke-kun." She greeted softly, looking a bit unsure. Sasuke tilted his face towards her. "Morning." _2 _ He gave a short reply, noticing that she didn't seem too happy. _"Sakura's acting weird…" _Sasuke thought, narrowing his eyes a little bit._

"I knew why you were acting weird, but it was still kind of… weird to see you act like that. I guess I was used to the happy 'annoying' Sakura instead of the moping Sakura." Sasuke coughed, turning a bit pink. "Anyway, when we got to the so called entrance, I found the perfect chance to raise your spirits a bit. I could tell that we weren't on the third floor like the sign said, but on the second floor."

"_That's a sound argument, but I will pass." Sasuke said, walking through the crowd with Naruto and Sakura following him. He finally reached the two guards, looking at the sign that said they were on the third floor. "And undo this field you're created using a Genjutsu field." _

_Two of the guys standing around looked confused. "What's that guy talking about?" One said to the other. The other shrugged, replying with, "I don't know."_

_The guards looked mildly surprised. "Oh?" One simply responded with a part of his lips. "You noticed?" The other one asked._

"Chance!" _Sasuke thought, turning his head over to Sakura, a small smile on his face._ _"Sakura, what about you? You should've noticed first." Sakura snapped out of her thoughts. "Huh?" Sasuke tried again. "Your analyzation skills and Genjutsu know-how is the best in our squad." He said, facing the guards again._

_She seemed a bit shocked. "Sasuke-kun… thank you." She lifted her head and spoke again, sounding more confident this time. "Of course I've noticed it already. This isn't the third floor, this is the second floor." Naruto nodded. The Genjutsu dispelled, showing that this was indeed the second floor._

"Sasuke-kun…" Sasuke blinked and nodded, showing that he was listening. "Thank you again… if you hadn't done anything… I probably wouldn't have taken that exam."

"_Saa! Sasuke-kun, Naruto! Let's go!" Sakura proclaimed, cheerful again. She grabbed both of her teammate's hands and started pulling them towards the stairs._

"_Oi, don't pull." Sasuke complained, not minding this at all._

"Aa… it was nothing…" He muttered, blushing in his head remembering his reaction.

**Oh ho ho! What's this development?**

_Stop that laugh, you sound like a starved Santa._

**Mataku, aren't you rude today?**

_Go away; you're not going to help with the situation at all Ahpup._

**I'm not?**

_No, I'm going to do this myself and without your annoying so called help._

**-wipes fake tear from eye- Ooh! My little Sasu-kun is growing up! I'm so proud of you!!**

_What the fuck? You're such an idiot._

**Thank you so much for the complement Sasu-kun!**

…_that wasn't a complement…_

**Really? From that _grateful_ tone it sounded like one.**

_Usuratonkachi. What kind of lies are you spewing now? Seriously, your lies are probably worse than Kakashi's._

**How rude.**

_Deal with it bub._

**From your tone it seems that I'm not needed. BOO HOO! BOO HOO!**

…_you never were needed anyway…_

**That's not true, don't lie to yourself!**

… …

**Whatever, I'm going. Have fun with Sakura-chan!**

"Sasuke-kun, are you okay?" Sasuke slowly nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay…" He shook his head a couple of times, thinking before remembering what came next in the order of events. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth tightened. _"…that time huh?"_

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura seemed to understand what came next. "If you don't want to talk about that subject… we could just skip it. It's a rather sensitive sub-"

"I don't want to remember it." Sasuke interrupted. Sakura looked confused. "Remember what?" "Remember _that_."

_Sasuke opened his eyes, revealing a yellowish background. He looked around confused. _"Where am I…?"_ He thought, catching sight of a small figure clad in a black collared button up shirt and black khakis. His vision was weaving in and out. _"Who… is that? …the younger me?" _Sasuke squinted to see who it was._

_His vision cleared and Sasuke saw that it was indeed the younger him. He seemed to be staring at something in shock, sadness, and was trembling badly. Tears in his eyes threatened to fall. "Dad and mom didn't have to die…" He said an anguished expression on his face. A single tear splashed to the ground._

_All of a sudden the image of his mother and father lying dead in a large puddle of blood on the floor showed up. The blood was still fresh on their corpses, the crimson liquid still dripping from his parent's mouths. Sasuke gave a quick gasp as his eyes widened at the grueling sight. The yellow background faded into the blood streaked walls of the Uchiha Manor. Red light shone on Mikoto and Fugaku. _3 

_The younger Sasuke began to speak again. "Everyone was killed... because I didn't have enough power!" He said, clearly disgusted with himself. "The clan was… wiped out." He finally finished in disbelief. Sasuke continued to stare intently at his younger self._

_The Uchiha Manor faded away, back to the blank yellow background from before. The younger Sasuke clutched his head, tears streaming down his cheeks. "If you don't have power…"_

_The dead Uchiha along with the manor came back into view._

"_You can't do anything! Because I didn't have enough power… Everyone was killed!" The younger Sasuke's grip on his head loosened. Sasuke's eyes widened again. Younger Sasuke raised his head, his eyes glinting with madness. He raised his right arm and covered his right eye with his hand._

"_No… You let them die." He brought down his hand a little bit, a ripping sound evident, the hand now over his eye. A twisted smile spread on his face. "You… just watched them die." Sasuke started to tremble, fear starting to seep onto his face. "If only I had power…" _

_Younger Sasuke moved his hand past his eye, ripping off the skin to the cheek bone, revealing Orochimaru's gleaming yellow eye. The tone of younger Sasuke's voice changed into Orochimaru's mocking one. "If only you had power…" Sasuke watched, terror stricken, as everything went black. _ 4 

Sasuke's head was lowered and Sakura could tell he was angry with himself for succumbing to Orochimaru's wants. She leaned over and covered Sasuke's hand with her head. Sasuke snapped his gaze towards hers. "We don't have to talk about it." She said, giving Sasuke a soft smile. He looked slightly shocked before giving her a half smile and nodded.

"Sakura… Arigatou."

--------------------

FlamedraSeer7213: I cut out the Chunnin Exams part with Sasuke getting that bite from Orochimaru. In my opinion, people use it too much in SasuSaku stories and that the small hints count more than the large stuff. Haha! Sumimason, there was no lemon in this chapter! However, lemons do not happen out of nowhere! There has to be some kind of plot development first. I do however, promise there will be a lemon.

1 This was said by a fake Sasuke. Sakura was in a Genjutsu.

2 Sasuke doesn't actually say anything, but just gives a grunt in return. However, it was translated to "morning" so I used that instead of grunting.

3 I'm pretty sure that Fugaku is Sasuke's dad and Mikoto is Sasuke's mother. If they are not however, please notify me via PM or review.

4 After younger Sasuke/Orochimaru says, "If only you had power…" the scene disappears to show Sasuke being covered by purple miasma and awake. This is kind of filling in on before he actually woke up and how his 'dream' ended.


	21. Naruto Omake: The Chickendragon

Naruto Omake

Haha, I know this isn't the chapter of Minor-Boy, but I'm just updating letting you guys know that I'm still alive. Look I'm even nice enough to make you guys a nice little omake about... stuff!! How nice is that? –dodges tomatoes- Wait a minute, why I am I dodging tomatoes!? I love tomatoes!!

Regarding that Lemon issue with some people wanting to read the chapter and not having to browse through the Lemon part, I have solved that problem! I will be putting up two versions of that chapter, one of them with a lemon and one of them without a lemon. I'll label them so you know which one is which.

Anyway, enjoy the Omake!

---------------------

Naruto and Sasuke were having a nice little friendly art competition with Sakura judging. Okay, fine they were having a race to see who could draw a decent chicken, meaning that you could tell it was a chicken, in the shortest amount of time with Sakura timing.

"Done!" Both of them shouted at the same time, shoving the papers forward and smacking their pencils down on the desk. Naruto scowled at Sasuke. Sasuke glared at Naruto. Sakura was trying to get the papers from their grip.

"Umm… guys? Let go of your papers!" Both of them paid no heed towards Sakura, continuing their glaring contest. Sakura kept on tugging the papers. Finally both of the papers ripped in half.

Sakura took out two new sheets of paper and gave them to the duo. "Sasuke, you go first." Naruto sent Sasuke a nasty glare while Sasuke smirked. He took the paper from Sakura's hands and placed it down on the desk, starting to "draw" on it immediately.

"No! That's not how a chicken looks dattebayo! No! Dammit I won't shut up! Sasuke-teme! Dammit, that's not how you draw a freaking chicken!"

Sasuke faced Naruto angrily, his now red eyes flashing. "Fine. If that's not how a chicken looks like, then you draw one!" With that said, Sasuke threw the pencil at Naruto. Naruto looked ready to rip Sasuke's head off, nearly tearing the paper in half when he accepted it from Sakura. "Prepare to be amazed dattebayo!"

--Five Minutes Later--

"Usuratonkachi, that's not a chicken."

Naruto crossed his arms. "It is a chicken! It's got chicken feet, chicken wings, and a chicken beak! It's so chicken, it practically screams chicken!"

"That thing is not a chicken." Sasuke replied flatly.

"If that's not a chicken, then what is it?"

Sasuke snatched the paper from Naruto's hand, carefully inspecting it. "It's a chickendragon." He finally declared.

Naruto looked completely insulted. "This is not a chickendragon! It's a chicken!"

"Chickendragon."

"Chicken!"

"Chickendragon."

"Chicken!"

Kakashi looked at the picture. "Nice chickendragon Naruto."

Sasuke smirked while Naruto screamed out, "IT'S A CHICKEN!" Sakura snatched the paper out of Sasuke's hands (remember Sasuke's still holding the paper) and inspected it in a similar way that Sasuke did earlier.

"Naruto, it's more like a chickendragon then anything." She finally said after minutes of observation. Naruto started whining. "Demo Sakura-chan!! It said in the books that Chickens de… uhh… what was the word again? De-de-DESCEND! Yeah that was the word dattebayo! Umm, it said that chickens descend from dragons!"

Sakura smacked her forehead and let it slide down in a disgruntled sort of way. "Naruto… chickens are descended from **_DINOSAURS!!! Dinosaurs, not dragons!!_**" She spat out angrily, fire flaring in her eyes. Naruto nodded. "Hai, hai… ano… Dinenasors wasn't it?"

Even Sasuke winced when he heard that bone shattering punch that resulted in Naruto flying through the sky with a streak of red following him. He sighed exasperatedly.

"All you had to do was admit that it was a chickendragon dope…"


End file.
